Another Heart Calls
by evieeden
Summary: When Bella moves to Forks she becomes not only Edward's singer, but Jasper's as well. As their relationships develop secrets from the past begin to be revealed. A B/J/E fic.
1. No Regrets

**OK, so this was written during a fit of snow-induced madness so you'll have to let me know whether or not you like it and if you think it's worth continuing.**

**This fic is B/J/E and there will be polyamory and slash so if you don't like either of those I suggest you stop reading now.**

**I don't own Twilight. Just this fic.**

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**No Regrets**** – Chapter 1**

**JPOV**

I had so many regrets.

Too many.

I regretted helping Maria win her territory. Although I imagined myself in love with her, I was not blind to her faults. I'd seen power corrupt before and knew that her increased desire for control would only become stronger. I also knew that I was the power behind her rule and that I could have quite easily won all of our land, and the humans within it, by myself. I knew it was only a matter of time before I became just another threat to her rule and she attempted to crush me under her foot as she had done with so many others.

I regretted staying as long as I did. Letting the weight of human sadness and terror beat against my consciousness, cracking my soul into pieces until I was nearly half-mad with the torment.

I regretted my inability to feed as a normal vampire without feeling the pain of my victims. I had to leave Peter and Charlotte, knowing that despite their ability to love strongly, developing ties to each other like I had never seen before, they would never understand why I couldn't hunt as they did without losing my sanity.

But most of all I regretted Edward.

I had never heard of singers before; every other human had smelt and tasted exactly the same to me, each one indistinguishable from the next. I never knew that there was someone out there specifically designed for me and all I had to do to gain a soulmate for this life and the next was to just leave them alive.

I had been in Chicago at the time, weak and almost insane with hunger, when I first became aware of his existence. The whole city had been panicked - in the grip of the Spanish Influenza epidemic. Although I was ravenous almost to the point of rampaging through the city indiscriminately, the sickly aura that permeated most of the people I crossed discouraged me from feeding.

The overcast day had allowed me to prowl the streets undetected, and I rambled through them with no direction, sending the all the little people in my path scattering as they scrambled to avoid my unnatural presence.

I had been muttering to myself – another reason why I was being avoided – when I realised that I was about to pass a hospital. Normally I avoided them like the plague, the smell of freshly-spilled blood was too tempting to resist and unless you picked your meal well it was far too dangerous to risk exposure in such a way.

About to hurry past, I suddenly froze – a silent statue in the middle of the cobbled road. Venom began to flood my mouth as a hungry growl ripped out from my chest. _That scent_. I had to have it. Directing all of my focus on that incredible scent – _that blood_ – I turned abruptly towards the hospital, stalking in front of a carriage that was ambling by and sending the horses pulling it rearing up and away from me in fear. Nobody noticed me crashing through the doors, sending them flying into the walls behind, it was late and I detected only a few healthy heartbeats moving around the building.

I got lucky – all the humans appeared to be located in the upstairs of the building, the scent I wanted was coming from the basement. Moving as quickly as possible down the stairs, I entered the room where my prey was located.

It took me a second to locate him. This ward, if you could call it that, had obviously been set up for those who were beyond all hope of saving and I briefly wondered if I would have to mutilate a corpse to get at the blood I craved. But no... The blood was fresh, which meant that a heart was still beating it around a body, no matter how weakly.

My eyes locked on him, a beautiful copper-haired boy, his skin flushed with the last remnants of the disease killing him. My haste was momentarily tempered and I sidled slowly up to him, noting the shallowness of his panted breaths. This boy was nineteen at the most and his death was inevitable, whether by my hand or that of the influenza.

I found the fact that I hadn't already killed him somewhat disconcerting and my hand reached out of its own accord to trace his face. I watched, detached from the experience, as my palm ran over his shock of hair, surprisingly bright in comparison to the sickly white of his pallor. My fingers trailed down his cheek, marking out the line of his jaw, before coming to rest over his jugular.

And I was hungry again.

Pushing his head to one side, exposing his neck, I was shocked when his eyes briefly fluttered open to gaze at me. I had never seen that shade of green before and have never seen it since. It was another thing that was unique to this boy. He licked his lips before speaking and my eyes flickered repeatedly between his mouth and his pulse, unable to tell which looked more appealing to me.

"Are you an angel?" His voice was dry and raspy with disuse and I paused, shocked by his question.

A breeze blew through a high window in the corner of the room, carrying the smells of the room, the corpses and this boy to me more strongly than before. I shuddered as it hit my nosebuds and lunged, burying my teeth into his soft, fragile skin and growling around the mouthful of heavenly elixir that I was rewarded with...

...only to be torn away from the boy and thrown into the opposite wall.

The bricks groaned with the impact of my body and I threw myself into a crouched attack position, ready to take out my assailant.

It was another vampire - blond with strangely-coloured gold eyes and wearing the uniform of a doctor. We both crouched, frozen in a macabre tableau, for endless seconds – sizing each other up. I was ready to pounce despite not feeling any anger or aggression from this vampire, just curiosity and compassion.

A pained scream interrupted our challenge. _The boy_. I had bitten him, but not killed him, which meant...

The venom was spreading. _My venom_.

A wave of heat and pain hit my senses sending me reeling and the blond vampire turned his back on me, hurrying over to the boy. "Edward? Edward, can you hear me?" A hoarse wail was his only reply.

_Edward_. That was the boy's name. I tested the sound of it on my tongue and decided I liked it.

The vampire-doctor was now frantically checking the boy's – Edward's – vital signs, while I stood there stupidly. Despite the painful sensations that pricked at my skin, I was glad that this vampire had stopped me, that I hadn't killed this boy, that he would now be one of us.

Huddled in a corner, I watched as the vampire pulled back the covers of the bed, lifted the boy gently up and began to make his way around the maze of bodies to the stairs and the exit. Before he began to climb up, he swivelled back towards me. "We need to leave now. We can't risk anyone hearing Edward's cries. Are you coming?"

He didn't wait for an answer, hurrying up to the ground level, and I sped up to follow him out of the hospital. He had his own steam-powered carriage waiting out back which he loading the writhing boy into before turning to face me.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor at this hospital... and you are?" He held his hand out and I reached out to awkwardly shake it.

"Jasper Whitlock, sir."

A piercing scream from the carriage echoed around us and the doctor instinctively cringed at the noise. "I should remove Edward back to my quarters for his transformation before he draws any attention to us. Would you care to join us, Mr Whitlock?"

"Major," I corrected. "I was a Major... before."

He raised an eyebrow in concession, and although I saw only curiosity and felt no suspicion from him I couldn't stay. "I should go."

Nodding, he leapt up onto the seat of his vehicle, waving as he fired the engine and powered down the road. An inexplicable ache began to develop in my chest the further away from me he got and I somehow I knew that it was because the boy was being removed from my presence.

"Stop!" I shouted, running to catch up with him. The doctor politely pulled over and waited for me to reach them. My eyes were fixed on the boy and I wasn't sure that I was capable of pulling them away. "Will..." I paused, feeling idiotic for the question I was about to ask. "Will you please take care of him... for me? He's... important."

"Of course, Major."

I nodded, then ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I had to get away. Away from the vampire doctor with his inscrutable golden eyes and away from the beautiful boy whose scent was so appealing to me.

Yes, I regretted Edward, but not in the way that others might think. I didn't regret changing him, however accidental that deed may have been. It kept him alive and for that I was grateful. What I did regret was leaving him and running away.

By the time I came face to face with him again, by Alice's machinations of course, it was too late. Edward didn't recall anything beyond the fire of turning, and even if he had I would be nothing more than the memory of a fever-induced delusion.

He was still beautiful – even more so now that he was a vampire, yet amazingly his physical appearance hadn't changed that much. He was still young too; younger than I had originally guessed, just seventeen to my twenty.

And I was still as powerfully drawn to him as I had been when he was alive.

Luckily, in this life he appeared to feel a pull towards me as well, although this was manifested between us as a strong brotherly bond rather than the romantic, soul-deep connection that I craved. Alice told me that I just needed to be patient - that Edward was innocent and naive and needed to come to terms with his feelings in his own time. I told her to mind her own business.

I had spoken with Carlisle about the incident in Chicago several times over the years and from his time with the Volturi he recalled the legend of _la tua cantante_. Edward, he theorised, was my singer. It explained the need I felt to be near him now and to consume his blood when he was human. Edward was, for lack of a better term, my soulmate.

We never told him this though. Just like we never divulged that it was I, and not Carlisle, who made him. Carlisle had already been planning to change Edward before I got to him. Apparently he had promised Edward's mother, who had perished, that he would save her son by any means necessary. It was better for the family that this continued to be the accepted truth. Alice was the only other person aware of what had really happened that night.

So no, I didn't regret Edward. I couldn't.

But I did believe that he was the one; my only singer.

I was wrong.


	2. Your Love Alone Is Not Enough

**Here's chapter 2. Sorry about the wait, I had to work out where I wanted to go with this fic beyond my original idea. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and encouraged me to carry on with this.**

**If anyone wants to volunteer to either beta or pre-read this fic for me, I would be forever in your debt.**

**Once again, I own nothing and SM owns everything. Which is really unfair when you think about it.**

**Enjoy.**

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**Your Love Alone Is Not Enough**

**JPOV**

I often wondered, with his ability to read minds, whether Edward actually realised the true extent of my feelings for him.

The vampire mind was such a complex organ, capable of functioning at so many different levels and concentrating on so many different things at once. My attraction towards him, my desire to have him as a mate, had been shoved to the back of my mind at Alice's insistence. But no matter how far away I pushed my feelings they were still there.

What I did want to know was how hidden they were. While the day-to-day motions of life were always at the forefront of my head, sometimes everything else snuck through as well.

For example, it was a lazy Sunday afternoon and everyone was loitering around the house, trying to kill time before we were forced to pretend to be human once more in the hell that is high school. Edward was up in the alcove, playing around on his piano and occasionally jotting down notes on sheet music. I was reading a thick history book on the battle strategies of the Confederates during the Civil War and had strategically sat myself in the only armchair which faced towards the alcove. Alice had perched herself on the arm of my seat and Rosalie and Emmett were bickering on the sofa.

While I was reading I was also listening to the music that Edward was creating and trying to sneak glances at him as he worked. His head was bent over the papers, exposing the lean muscles of his neck to me. The defined muscles in his arms flexed and contracted as they moved between piano and pen. His hands fascinated me, especially when he was playing. The way his long fingers danced over the keys was strangely hypnotic.

Yet despite my attraction to him I was careful to only outwardly think about whether or not this historian had correlated the patterns of attack with the original assault plans developed. One thing that people always failed to realise in this modern age was that when you're in the heat of battle things change, plans get abandoned and all you focus on is the end goal and staying alive; everything in between is superfluous.

Did the same apply towards Edward and I?

I knew what the aim was: to have Edward as my mate, to have him fully aware of the events leading up to his change and of the depth of my feelings for him. Did it matter how I got there?

"Stop it," Alice hissed, slapping me on the arm. "You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry," I muttered, placing a light kiss on the top of her head.

A clang from the piano keys turned my focus back to Edward just as he turned his head back to his work. Had he been watching mine and Alice's interaction? His emotions were all over the place, a mixture of curiosity and shame being the most prominent.

Shaking my head I settled back into reading my book, only to have a wave of lust thrown at me from the sofa. Rosalie had now crawled on top of Emmett and was sucking at his neck. If past experience was anything to go by I'd give them five seconds to run up the stairs to their bedroom and maybe another five before the sexual arousal got too much for me to bear and I had to leave the house to avoid jumping Edward.

Right. I was getting out of here now.

Emmett was already shuffling backwards towards the stairs with Rosalie clinging to him like a limpet.

Tossing my book onto a side table I stood up and stretched. As I reached upwards I arched my back and my sweatshirt rode up.

Another bolt of lust hit me, but not from upstairs this time. Instead the feeling of want was emanating from Edward and I twisted quickly around to find him staring at the sliver of exposed skin between my shirt and my pants.

When he saw me watching him he hastily turned away, his jaw clenching in embarrassment, before slamming the piano bench backwards and stalking out the front door.

I stood frozen in shock, my arms still outstretched. Had I just imagined that?

Small hands rested on my arms, pulling them back down.

"Come on," Alice soothed. "Let's go hunting. It'll take your mind off of things."

About to protest, surely I should stay to wait for Edward to return, I was cut off by an obscenely loud moan from upstairs. Right, get away from Rosalie and Emmett first.

Stepping out onto the back porch I breathed in deeply, the smells of the forest flooding my nose. "Deer?" I asked Alice.

"Deer," she confirmed.

Inhaling again, I quickly located the nearest herd and took off in that direction, Alice close behind me.

The deer scattered upon scenting danger, but we still managed to quickly take out two each. Sated for the meantime, I disposed of the bodies before flopping onto my back in the middle of the woody clearing. Closing my eyes I heard Alice settle beside me.

"You don't know how close you were to getting laid tonight."

My eyes shot open. Alice was sat cross-legged next to me, a small smile brightening her face, her fingers nimbly working to construct a chain of flowers plucked from the clearing.

"What?!"

"Oh, come on." She laid her flowers down, glaring exasperatedly down at me. "Even I could tell that for a minute there Edward seriously considered jumping you. I really didn't need to see that."

"He did?"

She shot me a look.

I sat upright. "I mean I thought I was getting a wave of lust from him earlier, but I can never really tell with Edward."

"Oh, you were getting lust alright." She stopped my burgeoning smile in its path. "Naturally it would have ended badly though."

I frowned. "What do you mean 'naturally it would've ended badly'?"

Alice huffed at me. "What would have happened is that Edward would've jumped you, you would have responded and then he would have got scared and ran away… like he did anyway. He's not ready yet, Jasper."

I stood up and began pacing angrily. "Well, when will he be ready then, Alice?" I ran my hands through my hair agitatedly, my fingers clenching in the strands.

Alice patted the grass next to her. "Stop pulling your hair out. Come sit."

I threw myself back onto the floor, this time resting my head in her lap. She began to run her hands through my hair soothingly.

"What you have to understand is that Edward just needs some time to adjust to his feelings for you. You need to give him some space. He's still very young… emotionally if not physically."

"Alice, you've been saying that since we joined the family sixty years ago. If he hasn't grown up and accepted his feelings by now then I don't think it's ever going to happen. Maybe I should just think about moving on, nothing's happening here. And at least I know if I go that Edward will be safe under Carlisle and Esme's care. Ow, Alice!"

Grinning down at me, Alice released the painful grip that she had on my hair and I rubbed my scalp to ease the sting.

"There'll be no chat like that, thank you very much. You're staying."

I shook my head. Alice obviously had more faith in the impossible than I did. Apart from a few longing looks and a single burst of want there was nothing in Edward's behaviour to suggest that he wanted a relationship with me.

"But…"

"No buts." Alice bent over and rested her forehead against mine so I couldn't escape her gaze. "Things are going to change soon and you need to be here for them."

"What's going to happen?" I asked. I suddenly felt a spark of hope. "Did Edward make a decision about something? Have you seen something?"

Alice lifted her head to stare into the distance and I ran a finger over the line which appeared on her forehead. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I do and then…" She hissed. "I don't think that you and Edward are the only ones who need to make decisions here. There are outsides forces and people who aren't clear to me at the moment."

"Outside people," I mused. "The family?"

"No, I don't think so. Someone else. Maybe a couple of someone elses." She drummed her fingers thoughtfully on my shoulder. "Of course, it doesn't help that Edward keeps changing his mind about what he wants. Stupid boy," she muttered under her breath.

I smiled at her frustration. "My stupid boy," I reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, we all know he's your stupid boy. Well," she considered, "I guess only you, me and Carlisle know that he's your stupid boy… but that's beside the point. All I know is that if you leave, everything will end badly."

"Badly? How badly?"

"I don't know," Alice confessed, her face wearing an unusual expression of worry. "Just badly." She was radiating tension and frustration and I projected as much calm as I could muster out towards her.

She smiled gratefully at me and I was glad that at least I seemed to be able to make one person happy.

We rested together quietly for a while, Alice reclaiming her flowers from the grass, and from my position on my back I tracked the path of the sun, watching as the sky gradually darkened into night. The sounds of the forest in the day grew quieter and many of its inhabitants settled down to sleep. As they did, the night owls came out to play, singing out their foreign calls into the dark.

A quiet purr echoed nearby and my ears perked up at the sound. Mountain lion… not two miles away. I tensed, ready to throw myself into the pursuit of the meal.

"Don't." Alice pressed me back down again. "You won't get there in time."

About to ask her what she meant, my question was halted as a loud, familiar growl rang out, penetrating through the trees. Looks like Edward hadn't gone home yet either.

My senses were now firmly locked upon my boy as he hunted. The whisper as the fallen leaves on the forest floor yielded beneath his weight, the slight whoosh of air as he pounced and the almost inaudible tearing as the lion's skin gave way to the sharp puncture of his teeth. I felt venom flooding my own mouth as his hungry gulps met my ears.

"I need to hunt again," I commented, not making any effort to get up.

"Already?" Alice asked, her face going blank, seeking out my future.

"It's school tomorrow," I reminded her. "So unless you want me to massacre the class I think I'd better."

Soft footsteps made their way towards us and I raised my head as Edward emerged from the shadows to stand in front of us.

"I'll go with you, if you like," he offered, holding one hand out for me to take.

Grasping it in mine, I thrilled at the contact, but was careful to keep my mind on thoughts of the hunt.

Edward yanked me upwards and despite the fact that our brains could accurately and speedily work out the momentum needed for such an action I was happy to find that he used excessive force, sending my body slamming into his, our hands trapped between us.

For the longest moment, which couldn't have actually been more than a second in reality, Edward and I stood fully pressed against each other, his eyes boring into mine, searching for something in my gaze. His scent washed over me and all of my nerves suddenly felt incredibly hypersensitive. Every part of my body sang at the contact and every fear and worry I'd ever had seemed to vanish. For that one moment, I felt completely whole for the first time in over eighty years.

Alice's cheerful voice broke into the bubble that surrounded us. "Well, I'm not really hungry so I'll leave you boys to it."

Edward broke away from me and I silently mourned the loss of contact. Nervously rubbing the back of his neck he turned to face Alice.

"I guess we'll see you back at the house then?"

She nodded and flitted across the clearing towards the house. Just before she disappeared she quickly winked at me. "Have fun." And then she was gone.

Edward and I stood there silently for a minute, staring in the direction that Alice had gone.

"She's getting better at blocking me, you know." His tone of voice was almost petulant.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"Alice," Edward clarified. "She getting better at hiding stuff from me." He tapped the side of his head in emphasis.

"I expect she'd tell you if it was something important." I settled for trying to be diplomatic.

"I guess," he conceded. "Shall we?"

We took off running, Edward slightly ahead of me. We hunted silently and efficiently, no words exchanged between us.

After we had both fed to excess we made our way back to the house side-by-side, shoulders occasionally brushing. As the trees gave way to the open expanse of the lawn I noticed that Edward had stopped walking and I turned to face him questioningly.

"You're getting better at blocking me too." The accusation was quiet, the hurt clearly audible. His face was a study in frustration. "Sometimes you slip and I think that you…" He paused, his anxiety crossing the space between us. "But then it's like a shield comes up and there's nothing."

His voice was imploring, almost begging, but for all my hopes and plans I just couldn't explain.

"It's nothing to worry about." I turned my back on him, almost hurrying now to the sanctuary of the house and my room in it, muttering under my breath as I did.

"You wouldn't understand anyway."

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Another week, another foray into the hellish rat race which was the American state school system. Although today was somewhat different from the normal monotony of life at Forks High School.

Today a new student, Isabella Swan, the police chief's daughter, had started here, having moved across country to live with her father, and wasn't everyone just overwhelmingly overexcited about it. For the last few weeks these children had spoken of nothing else and it was beginning to grate on my nerves. For days on end I had been mentally bombarded with anticipation, hope and curiosity over the girl and now that she was actually here…

God, sometimes I hated teenagers - truly, truly hated them.

They could never stick to just one prevailing emotion; everything was hormonal and had to be experienced all at once lest their fragile minds lose the feelings. They were bad enough just in a normal, everyday setting. Constantly throwing it all in my face. Honestly, I was this close to taking out the entire school and bloodlust had nothing to do with it.

This new girl – this Isabella Swan – just provided added stimulation for their insipid emotions.

And it was all so predictable.

The boys were all hopeful, lustful, falsely brave and terrified of looking weak in front of their friends. The whispers in the halls and classes had revealed that Isabella was fair game to the males of the school and they egged each other on to make approaches, muttering lewd comments and derogatory remarks about what they could do with such a girl.

It was all a smokescreen of course. Half of them wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she landed completely naked in their laps.

The girls, on the other hand, were a different story. While the boys' jokes may have taken a vulgar turn, their emotions were sincere – at least in terms of getting to know the new girl.

I had always found women to be the more competitive of the sexes. Even when I was fighting in the Southern Wars I would have been happy to just stay and defend any territory that we had managed to claim, while Maria constantly wanted more. More land, a bigger army, a greater reputation. Our territories meant far more to her than they ever did to me.

It turns out that human women are equally as competitive and territorial as female vampires.

The whole morning I had inadvertently eavesdropped as the girls of the school cheerfully introduced themselves to the chief's daughter while the bitter resentment just poured off them.

_Anger. Jealousy. Fear. Worry. Disappointment. Contempt. Self-satisfaction. Pride. Dislike. Annoyance. _

The cafeteria was buzzing with the hum of gossip and Isabella Swan was right at the heart of it. I almost felt sorry for the girl.

Sat at our lunch table I clenched my fists and closed my eyes against the surge of hormonal outpourings that swept through the room when she finally entered. I stopped breathing and allowed my mind to drift, trying to damp down the background noise which pounded at my head. Poor Edward was probably in a worst position than I was though, being able to hear everyone at the same time that he… heard them.

"Looks like Jessica Stanley's got her claws into the new girl already." Rosalie's observation was amused. Nobody new to the school managed to escape Jessica's particular brand of attention. Luckily in our case she had been quickly frightened off and now kept her distance.

I tilted my head slightly and cracked my eyes open. The new girl, a petite brunette, was indeed being shepherded proprietarily across the room by the frizzy-haired Jessica, who was both smug at being seen with Isabella Swan, yet threatened by her as well. Shaking my head minutely I re-closed my eyes.

"And now she's hearing all about the scary Cullens," Emmett's cheerful voice chimed in. "I wonder how long it'll take before she's scared of us."

Alice, who had been fidgeting next to me, suddenly jumped up from the table and I opened my eyes. "It's going to be sunny at the end of the month. I'm going to go clear our attendance with Mrs Cope." Scooping up her tray she practically ran out the cafeteria, dumping its contents in the bin on the way.

"Well that was rude," Rosalie commented snippily. "She couldn't have waited for the rest of us before running off?"

"It's the people," I explained. "There are too many people around for her to focus on one particular future. She needs some space to concentrate."

Rosalie mumbled under her breath in begrudging concession and I inwardly smiled at her behaviour.

"So Eddie," Emmett boomed – well, quietly boomed anyway. "Has she decided to stay away from us or has Stanley convinced her to make a play for you to see if you'll crack?"

I turned my head to watch Edward carefully. Although he smiled noncommittally at Emmett's questions he was emitting curiosity and frustration and his focus on the Swan girl was peculiarly intense.

Something was wrong. No-one else would've picked up on it, but then no-one was as particularly attuned to Edward as I was.

_He can't hear her_, I realised.

He had shrugged off Emmett's remarks and I knew that the others would assume that that meant Isabella Swan's thoughts were as mundane and insipid as the rest of the school's, but it was something else entirely. He couldn't hear her thoughts at all.

Was she immune to our powers then?

Concentrating, I sent a wave of heightened curiosity towards her and was surprised to find that she was indeed receptive to my emotional control, sneaking not-so-subtle glances through a curtain of hair towards our table. So it was just Edward then. That was interesting.

Eventually he turned back around to face our table and flinched when he noticed my observation. Rosalie and Emmett were arguing again about something or another so I leaned forward to whisper to him.

"You're not getting anything from her, are you?"

Edward shot me a surprised look before regaining his composure. He shook his head. "It's like there's nothing there, just nothing. What about you?"

"Mine seems to work ok on her." Smiling slightly, I knew what I said next would annoy him. "Maybe it's just you, Edward."

He glared at me and stood up abruptly. "I'm going to class. I'll see you later." Grabbing his tray he stalked off.

"Come on, Edward…" I called out quietly as he stomped away. He ignored me.

Sighing in disappointment I turned back to my brother and sister who had watched Edward's dramatic exit with interest.

"You should just go after him."

"What?" I looked at Rosalie.

"Oh, come on, Jasper. Don't treat me like an idiot. You've been panting over Edward for years, and don't you dare tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about. Either fuck him or don't, but stop dancing around all the time, shooting each other pathetic little looks. It's annoying and I'm sick of it. It's not all about Edward, you know."

Emmett looked just as shocked as I felt after Rosalie's rant, but when I transferred my gaze to him he just shrugged. "She's kind of got a point, dude."

"Fine, I'll go."

Hurrying out of the cafeteria I found that Edward had already disappeared somewhere. Surmising that he had just gone straight to class already I decided to do the same; chasing after him obviously wasn't going to help.

Turning around to head back down the hall I realised that while I had been searching for Edward the bell had rung and the children were beginning to poor through the corridors as they scurried to class. All that pumping blood was surrounding me and I swallowed back the reflexive mouthful of venom.

One girl got too close and I quietly growled as my eyes zeroed in on the throbbing pulse in her neck.

Trying to regain control of myself I stumbled sideways against the lockers. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'd only hunted yesterday, I shouldn't be this thirsty already. Fighting against my instincts I accidentally sucked in a deep breath.

And it hit me.

A scent so different from Edward's, but yet so similar. For a second I actually thought it was him, but it was too fresh – still being pumped around a body by a living heart.

My eyes quickly scanned then discarded the children – the cattle – and then locked on a figure walking towards me.

Isabella Swan.

She was being blindly led towards me by that imbecile Mike Newton and I just wanted to…

I slammed my fists back against the lockers, a loud bang echoing through the confined space and students scattered all around me giving me wary glances, their survival instincts kicking in.

But still she headed this way.

I didn't want to do this. I had promised my family. I had promised myself. And I wasn't going to be the weak link any longer.

_Closer… and closer… and closer_.

A flash of blonde hair at the end of the hall caught my eye.

"Rosalie."

It was no more than a hiss but she heard me. I felt her shock as she took in my state. She immediately began barging down the hall, pushing past several people including Isabella and Mike, and while a part of me cringed when I saw the girl trip and hit her shoulder hard on the wall I knew that it was the least serious injury she could have sustained with me like this.

My mind flashed back to Edward, his scent, the feel of his skin, the taste of his blood. I was sure that my eyes would be pitch black with hunger and want by now. My body was shaking violently with the effort it took to lock my muscles and not just pounce.

A hand latched on my arm, dragging me away from the luscious scent. Another soon joined it and I was manhandled out of the school, through the parking lot and into the woods opposite.

As soon as we were out of sight I took off, throwing myself through the forest in search of sustenance to quell the hunger that had risen up inside me. Leaping upon the first creature I saw, a lone deer, I tore viciously into its throat, blood splattering my face and shirt.

I lay there stunned when I had finished, wondering…

"What the hell was that, Jasper?!"

I raised my head off the floor, still panting heavily, to find that Rosalie and Alice had caught up with me. I guessed that Alice's hands were the second pair to grab me back in the school.

"Jasper!" Rosalie kicked me in the side. "What was that? Never mind, at least we got out before you exposed us. But do you realise how close you came back there?"

"I just…" I struggled to explain what had just happened. "It's impossible… There can't be more… I just …Alice?" I reached out to her.

Grasping my hand she pulled me upright. "I didn't see anything until it happened."

I searched her face desperately, as if it would reveal what had just happened. "It was just like before."

"Before?"

"Back when… Edward."

She stared at me in surprise. "We should get back home, speak to Carlisle."

I nodded frantically and allowed her to take my hand and guide me back towards the school. Rosalie had obviously decided to keep her mouth shut and ask questions later as she walked besides us silently. Just before we reached the tree line I felt her quickly grasp my free hand in support before she released it equally as quickly. Emmett was waiting by the car, as was Edward, and I felt ashamed that I had once again disrupted their lives due to my lack of control.

But then, Edward wasn't exactly the picture of calm either. He looked exactly how I imagined that I had appeared earlier.

"Good, you're all here. We need to go." He was jittery and practically jumped in the Volvo, impatiently beeping the horn when we all took too much time.

Exchanging confused looks we all climbed in, with me bagging the passenger seat, and Edward immediately floored the accelerator, sending gravel flying as he spun out of the school parking lot.

The aura in the car was tense – with both mine and Edward's strange behaviour – yet I immediately felt more comfortable as we got further away from the school and the humans within it.

The car suddenly braked, the momentum shocking everyone out of their thoughts. Looking around, I noticed that Edward had stopped the car at the end of the track leading to our house.

"Right, everybody out." His words were agitated.

"Edward, man, you need…"

"Emmett, please. I just need you all to get out here. Please. I have to go… see Carlisle. Please, just get out. Please."

Rosalie and Emmett clambered out and headed off in the direction of home, voicing quiet complaints about Edward's behaviour, although I heard Rosalie throw in a few digs towards me as well.

Alice and I remained in the car.

"Edward, you don't need to…"

"Alice, please." His voice was curt.

"Fine," she grumbled. "But you're making a big mistake." As she slid out of the car, I called out to her.

"What's going on?"

"Edward's leaving," she replied, before disappearing down the drive.

I turned to face him, hurt that he would just decide to leave without telling anyone, without explaining why.

"Edward…"

"Jasper, I can't…" He looked absolutely terrified in that moment and I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him towards me into a hug.

He buried his face into my neck, his body heaving under my hands with tearless sobs. I ran a hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him, but his grief and feelings of failure didn't lessen.

"Edward, please don't go. Whatever the problem is, we can deal with it." I hated the pleading tone of my voice, but couldn't stop it. I didn't want him to go.

He pulled back slightly and I released him, hating the pervading sense of desperation that was emerging

All of a sudden he lunged for me, pressing his lips forcefully to mine. His hands ran through my hair and gripped the strands tightly. Despite knowing that he wouldn't be acting this way normally, I couldn't help but respond.

I sucked his bottom lip, running my tongue over it, and he opened his mouth to me. His tongue entwined with mine and my hand came up to cup his face.

We broke apart slowly, both panting, and I opened my eyes which had unknowingly drifted shut. Edward kept his shut, his face almost held in suspension in front of me. When he did open them they were bright and frenzied and held a thousand questions that I didn't have the answers for.

Taking a deep shuddering breath he released my hair and slid back into his seat behind the wheel of the car.

"Edward."

"I have to go." He was resolute.

I nodded. "Take care of yourself."

He tilted his head and I swiftly leaned forward to kiss his forehead.

And then I was out of the car.

And he was gone.


	3. Never An Easy Way

**Here's chapter three, I hope you enjoy it.**

**Thanks to 1MrsECullen who betad this for me. Love you lots.**

**I don't own Twilight, SM does.**

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**Never An Easy Way**

**JPOV**

What was going on?

For once I wasn't glad that my mind was capable of assimilating several pieces of information at once. I was sure that if I'd been human I would have given myself a headache – my thoughts flickering at breakneck pace between the different elements that had made up the day.

Two stood out: Edward and Isabella Swan.

Unfortunately, any answers I was seeking would just have to wait until Carlisle got home.

It appeared that I wasn't the only one who was waiting for him. Rosalie and Emmett had curled up together on the loveseat and Esme was huddled into herself on the armchair, distress radiating from her body. She had taken the news of Edward's departure particularly hard and was desperate to know what had driven him away and what could be done to bring him back.

Alice had perched herself on the stairs and was watching me intently as I stalked back and forth over the carpeted floor. While I comprehended better than most how Alice's visions worked and how subjective they were, I still wanted to demand to know why she hadn't seen what had happened to either Edward or I, but I knew better then to start throwing accusations around.

The tension in the room continued to rise, setting my nerves on edge, and I eventually snapped.

"I'm going upstairs."

I stormed up to my room after making my announcement, slamming the door open and leaving a dent in the plaster of the wall behind it. Esme would be upset by the damage, but it was much better that I took my frustrations out on the house and furniture rather than my family. While they all understood my past on a basic level, they never knew just how vicious I could be when I got angry. Only Edward and Alice had ever been able to 'see' the violence of my imagination, the sheer cruelty I was capable of.

I clenched my fists together tightly, wishing that I could feel the burn of protesting muscles as I did. I took deep breaths through my gritted teeth and stalked over to the unnecessary bed, throwing myself on the covers and smothering my face with one of the colour-coordinated pillows.

A soft click as the door closed announced that someone had followed me up here and smart money said it was Alice – she was normally the only one who dared to breach my privacy.

"Carlisle's leaving the hospital now, do you want to come downstairs and wait for him?"

"No." My reply was short. "I can hear anything he says up here just as well as I could if I were downstairs. There's no point in moving."

"Well, look who's cranky today." Alice's voice was smug, her words delivered in a sing-song voice which grated. A slight shift in weight on the mattress indicated that she had joined me on the bed.

Shooting one arm out I grabbed her around the waist and tugged her down to lie next to me, my face still buried away from sight.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offered.

"I think I want to wait until Carlisle gets back, see what he has to say."

"Do you want to know what he has to say about Edward or do you want to know what he has to say about Isabella first?"

Alice shuffled her face sideways so that it rested facing me on the same pillow. I eyed her suspiciously.

"Alright, what do you know?"

"I don't know what you mean," she announced airily.

"Don't give me that, Alice. I'm not in the mood." My response was curt, but I wasn't willing to play games anymore.

Alice huffed before flopping onto her back. Picking up my hand from where it rested on her waist she began to play with my fingers, the action soothing me.

"She's the missing link."

I frowned.

"Isabella Swan," she clarified. "She's what was missing from my sight before. I think she was considering returning to her mother's home, which was why I couldn't see her, because she wasn't in our future. But now..."

"But now?" I prompted.

"Now," Alice drew the word out. "She's decided to stay and a lot of that decision was based on her response to you... and Edward," she grudgingly tagged onto the end.

"Me and Edward?" I repeated.

"I think," she paused, appearing to consider her words before she said them. "I think that whatever it is that draws you to her also works in reverse, although maybe not as strongly."

I turned to face her fully.

"She's attracted to me too?" I was surprised by this revelation.

"At the moment it's just manifesting itself as curiosity. She wants to stay so she can find out more about you." Alice was now drumming her fingers over my hand and I gently removed it from her grasp.

I nodded slowly, still struggling to put all the pieces together. Just remembering that scent which had drifted towards me was beginning to affect my body in ways I didn't expect. Then something occurred to me.

"Wait. You said me and Edward. What's Edward got to do with this, besides running off without telling anyone why?" My tone took a slightly petulant tone, much to my disgust.

"That bit is still a blur, mostly because none you will hurry up and make any decisions yet." She glared at me and I stifled a laugh. "But I do know that I'm starting to see more and more flashes of her with you or her with Edward - almost as often as I see visions of you and Edward."

She snorted suddenly and I raised my head to stare down at her. In all my time with Alice I had never heard that particular noise emit from her. Noticing my shocked look she giggled, before sighing heavily.

"To be honest, Jasper, I'm not sure that telling you this now will help at all. Maybe it is best that we wait for Carlisle to arrive."

She gazed questioningly at me and I nodded in affirmation.

We lay there in silence, every tick of the clock on the bedside table reverberating increasingly louder in my head. After about ten minutes I heard the sound of a car turn down towards our house. It wasn't Carlisle's Mercedes though, the rumble of the engine indicated that he was driving the Volvo home.

"They switched cars," Alice commented, sitting up as we listened to Carlisle exiting the garage and entering the house.

"At least we know that means that Edward must have talked to him about what happened earlier. At least he didn't just leave."

Alice rubbed my tense back gently.

As soon as the door shut behind Carlisle a flood of voices came from downstairs, demanding to know what was going on with Edward.

Although I stayed sprawled out on the bed, feigning an appearance of nonchalance, every one of my senses was locked onto the man downstairs. Alice and I were both entirely focused on Carlisle's explanation, her fingers occasionally twitching against my skin.

Although my brain was absorbing all of the information that Carlisle was divulging, my mind picked out several key phrases.

"...almost attacked...taking some time...appealing scent...up in Denali..."

And then the words which changed everything.

"...new student...Isabella Swan..."

I shot up, half-crouched on the bed. This was what it was all coming down to: Isabella Swan.

From what Carlisle was saying it appeared that Edward had had exactly the same reaction as I did to Isabella's scent. The exact same response that I had experienced nearly a century before.

So what did this mean then? Edward's blood appealed to me because he was my singer, and all of the literature that Carlisle had unearthed had suggested that to find your singer meant that you had found your mate. So why did I find Isabella Swan's blood equally as appealing? Did this mean I had two singers? And if I had two singers did this mean that I also had two mates?

And what about Edward? Was Isabella his singer and his mate as well?

I had too many questions and no obvious answers.

"Jasper." Alice tugged on my arm, trying to pull me out of my frozen crouched position. I ignored her, still turning things over in my head.

Downstairs I could hear Esme asking what could be done to get Edward to return. I have to admit that while I was curious about Isabella, Edward was still my main concern for the moment.

Rosalie's shrill voice pitched into the conversation announcing that she didn't want to move again if any accidents occurred.

"I don't see why we just can't take care of this before it becomes a problem."

My ears pricked up, now listening carefully to the discussion.

"Rosalie, please." Carlisle's protest almost sounded pained.

"No, if this girl's the reason why our family's being torn apart then I say we get rid of her. Then we won't have an issue, will we?"

Isabella dead? Isabella harmed at the hands of my own family?

A bolt of rage shot through me and I leapt off the bed and shot out of the room, shaking off Alice's tenuous grasp as she tried to stop me. Flying off the top of the stairs and over the banister I crashed into Rosalie, slamming her back into the opposite wall, my hands finding purchase around her neck.

A rumble built in my chest until I was practically roaring as I tightened my grip. My lips pulled back over my teeth and I leant into her horrified face, snarling and growling at her.

I vaguely recognised that Emmett and Carlisle were trying to pull me away, but even their superior strength couldn't stop me. I was motivated by fury and it would take a lot more to stop my attack. Rosalie was now whimpering, her hands scrabbling against mine, attempting to prise my fingers off of her neck.

"Jasper...Jasper..." A quiet voice penetrated the red haze which had fallen over my senses. "It's fine, Jasper. We're not going to hurt anyone. It's going to be fine. Isabella's safe, Jasper. She's safe."

_She's safe._ Those words more than any other broke through my anger, allowing me to regain control over my senses.

Quieting the growls that still emerged from my chest, I fought to suppress my instincts and embrace my higher functions.

"You won't hurt her." The words were spat out, the venom which flooded my mouth fighting to spill over the edge of my lips. "You won't go near her."

Everyone in the room froze, but I refused to turn back and look at them. What I wanted was confirmation from Rosalie that she understood me.

"Fine, I won't hurt her. I promise." Her voice was frantic and I briefly mused over how easy it would be to just tear her head off.

But she had agreed not to hurt Isabella and that was all I could ask for.

I loosened my grip and Carlisle immediately banded one arm across my chest and dragged me backwards, Alice assisting him. Rosalie collapsed into Emmett's waiting arms and her fingers instinctively massaged the area where my hands had gripped her. Esme was huddled by her, wringing her hands and looking as if she wanted to reach out to both of us. Her distress called out to me and I shuddered at the feel of it.

"What the fuck, Jasper?! What was that?" Emmett was practically shouting, his body angled towards me, shielding Rosalie from view.

His aggression wasn't helping my own. I still hadn't stopped shaking from my initial ire and I could feel my body begin to tense again from the perceived threat.

"You won't touch her." It was the only thing running through my mind, the desire to protect Isabella.

"Alright, we won't touch her," he agreed. "And you won't touch Rosalie ever again or I'll take you apart."

I growled at him and Carlisle jerked me back.

"Alice, take Jasper outside and I'll be out to speak with you both in a minute." Carlisle's voice was firm.

As Alice dragged me out of the back door onto the wraparound porch I heard Emmett complaining inside. "What does he care if some human chick dies? He's never even met this girl before, right? Why does she matter?"

His words shocked me fully out of my anger. Had I really just attacked a member of my family over a girl I knew nothing about, other than that she smelt mouth-wateringly luscious to me?

I could hear Carlisle telling Emmett and Rosalie that he would come and try to reason with me and then reassure Esme that everything would be alright.

Bewildered and slightly afraid by how out of control I was, I gripped the railing tightly and felt the wood crumble underneath my fingers. Alice shifted nervously from foot to foot next to me and I surmised that she wasn't able to see the outcome of the conversation to come.

"You know, Esme won't be too happy if you continue to destroy the house. We've already got a new dent in the living room wall." Carlisle's attempt at a joke fell flat, but I appreciated that he didn't appear to be too angry with me.

"Shall we walk?" he offered and I nodded. "Alice, do you want...?"

"She can stay," I interrupted. "She already knows everything anyway so..." I shrugged.

"Alright then." Carlisle clapped his hands together and indicated towards the forest.

We walked until we reached the same clearing that Alice and I had sat in just the night before. Sitting down, I leaned against a handy tree, while Carlisle took a perch on top of a boulder and Alice gracefully folded herself into a cross-legged position.

"Would you like to tell me what happened back there with Rosalie?" Carlisle began gently.

I shook my head. "I don't even know. I just heard her talking about getting rid of Isabella Swan like that and... snapped."

"You wanted to protect her, to the point where you would kill anyone who threatened her?"

"Yes," I confessed.

"You protected her as you would a mate?" he guessed, his face troubled.

"Edward left because he found her scent almost too appealing to resist, right?"

Carlisle blinked at my sudden change of topic. "Yes, I believe he was quite troubled by the sudden bloodlust that overcame him. From what he described I presume that it was something very similar to what you experienced back in Chicago." He scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "It would appear that this Isabella Swan is in fact Edward's singer."

"And mine."

"What?" His head shot up to survey my grim expression.

"Today in the school, Isabella walked past me in the hallway and I nearly attacked her. The scent of her blood was so..." I hesitated. "The desperation, the need to taste her, was unlike anything I've ever experienced before, except for on one other occasion."

"Edward," Carlisle concluded for me. He thought about that for a moment. "Maybe it's significant that she sings for both of you. It makes sense that if she appeals to Edward, she would have the same effect on you, given your close connection."

"But you told me that Edward being my singer marked me out as his mate." My voice was rising in volume as my agitation fought to break through. "Does this mean he's not anymore? That this Isabella Swan is going to take his place? That I'm going to have to fight him for her? Carlisle..."

"I think she's meant for both of you."

We both turned to face Alice, who was staring blindly in front of her.

"That's why I keep seeing her with the two of you, especially now that she's decided to remain in Forks. Sometimes she's with both of you, sometimes she's alone with each of you and sometimes you and Edward are alone together. I think it's the three of you; I can see it so much more clearly now. She was the missing link."

I let out a scream of frustration and thumped my fists in the ground, the soil giving way beneath my hands. I was just destroying everything today.

"Jasper," Carlisle tried to get my attention. "Jasper." I shifted my eyes to meet his. "If what Alice says is right, it would make a lot of sense. Isabella could indeed be your mate as well as Edward's."

"But Edward's _my_ mate," I protested, desperate to cling onto the one certainty that had defined my life for the last ninety years.

"Jasper." Carlisle stood up and walked over to me, crouching and placing one hand on my shoulder. "You should know better than most that relationships don't always match up to the normal human expectations placed on lifelong bonds. To many people your relationship with Edward wouldn't meet 'normal' standards given that you are both male."

He sat down next to me. "I believe that if you set aside human convention – especially given that we're not operating in the human world – then you'll see that there's a reason why you and Edward have mated... And eventually you'll see that there's a reason why the pair of you appear to have mated to the same girl. Polyamorous relationships are not common perhaps, but they're certainly not unheard of. If Alice has seen the three of you together then I would open yourself to the possibility that it is quite simply meant to be."

"After all, I'm always right," Alice inserted smugly.

I nodded. "I'm just feeling like it's all too much to take in," I explained. "And I don't like that Edward isn't here, it makes my skin itch."

Carlisle grinned and slapped me on the back. "I'm afraid that's just a normal side effect of being away from your mate. Nothing you can do about that." His smile slowly faded away. "Don't worry about Edward though. He doesn't realise what's happening and that spooked him, much like he's hesitant about his relationship with you."

"We don't have a relationship," I mumbled.

"You're closer to having one than I think you realise," he pointed out. "But for now Edward's safe enough in Denali and he'll return when he's ready to face everything."

I appreciated the calm radiating out from Carlisle, but was disconcerted when it suddenly turned to reluctance.

His voice was quiet when he decided to speak. "I'm assuming that perhaps the time has come to tell Edward the true information regarding his change and your...concern for him?"

"Yes," I agreed. "It's about time." Not that I wasn't dreading that discussion.

"Alright." Carlisle took my words at face value. "In that case I think I'll make my way back to the house." He stood up and brushed his pants down. "May I ask one more question, Jasper? What do you plan to do about Isabella Swan?"

I glanced quickly towards Alice before replying. "I don't know. I'll have to think about how to tackle that issue."

Carlisle nodded and wished us goodnight for the evening, disappearing into the gloom that had fallen while we were talking.

"What do you think I should do?" I didn't even look at Alice, my eyes still focused on the trees into which Carlisle had vanished.

Alice sighed behind me. "I think you should go to school tomorrow - obviously you'll have to gorge yourself first - but I'll be there, and so will Rose and Emmett, and we're capable of stopping you if anything happens..."

"What? Like if I try to kill her?" I laughed bitterly.

"I don't think you could," she declared. "I haven't seen you killing her. What I have seen though is you protecting her from a perceived threat."

I stood up and swung around, needing to see her face, her emotions were too indefinable for me to get a clear grip on them.

"It's not protecting her from Rosalie that I'm worried about; it's protecting her from me."

"If she's truly your mate you won't be able to hurt her."

"I hurt Edward."

"You saved Edward," Alice insisted.

"I killed him."

"You changed him." She shook her head at me. "What you've conveniently forgotten is that Edward was already dying when you found him. And maybe a part of you knew that the only way to keep him alive – in a manner of speaking – was to bite him and let the venom do the rest." She shrugged.

I scoffed at her. "Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking when I bit him. I was thinking all about how I could turn this strange boy into a vampire so I could save him from certain death and keep him as my vampire mate for all eternity. It really had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was starving and he smelt delicious. What really makes you think that things will be different with Isabella Swan?"

Alice stared at me, one eyebrow raised, until I looked away in shame. Shame that I could stand here now and claim to love Edward when I had murdered him, shame that I was still the weakest link and would at best condemn Isabella to this life, or at worst viciously massacre her.

"You know sarcasm doesn't suit you."

I threw her an exasperated look.

"It really doesn't." She waved one hand breezily. "Besides the way that you and Carlisle always told it you didn't attack him in a feeding frenzy, you hesitated. You were starving, you were incoherent and you hesitated. You really want to know what I think? I think Edward's blood attracted you to him. I think you saw that he was already dying and I think you made the decision, however unconsciously, to save him. If you weren't so stubborn you would think that too."

I padded back over the clearing and half-collapsed in front of her. My hand came up to rub tiredly over my face.

"Ok, let's say that what you're saying is true and I didn't attack Edward to eat him but to change him - where does that leave me with Isabella Swan?"

Alice considered for a minute, her eyelids fluttering slightly as she concentrated on the future. She frowned. "I can't concentrate properly; you haven't made any decisions yet."

I leaned back on my palms and threw my head back. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Edward."

"You want to go to him and make sure he's safe?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"I can work with that." She closed her eyes, squinting before opening them again. "Jasper, you do know that Edward will be perfectly alright if you don't go to him?"

"I know he will. I know he's more than capable of looking after himself."

"But you have two mates now."

My mouth twisted into a rueful smile, seeing where this was leading. "And you want me to stay here and watch over the weaker one."

"I wouldn't say 'I want'."

"What would you say then?"

Alice reached forward suddenly, gripping my face between her palms. "I'm saying think rationally, not emotionally, and then tell me what you should do."

I was unable to look away as I stared deep into Alice's eyes, trying to fathom what the best course of action was. Leave and go to Edward? He certainly didn't need my protection _and_ he had asked Carlisle for time and space to sort himself out. To go after him now would be seen as a lack of trust in his judgement and might even push him farther away from our family and me. Option two: stay in Forks, try to control my bloodlust and take care of Isabella.

I didn't know what to think of that option.

Then I thought about what could happen if I went away. I saw Rosalie attacking Isabella, I saw her in a car accident, falling down the stairs, overdosing, being mugged, being raped. She was so fragile. She was only human after all.

"Good boy." Alice patted my cheeks condescendingly before grinning and winking conspiratorially at me.

"So I'm going back to school tomorrow."

"You're going back to school tomorrow," she confirmed.

"Right." I jumped up, grabbing Alice's hands and swinging her onto her feet. "If I'm going back I'm going to need to eat."

"Care for some company?" she offered.

I smiled. "Only if you promise not to be smug."

She held out her hand and I grasped it. "Deal."

I allowed her to lead me out to hunt, trying to stem the worry that flooded my being. I prayed that Alice knew what she was talking about, otherwise this was going to end very badly.

For all of us.


	4. Overload

**Here's chapter 4 for you all. Hope you like it.**

**Thanks as always to my beta 1MrsECullen and to glitteratiglue for given me the small details.**

**I own nothing apart from the plot. SM owns everything else/**

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**Overload**** – Chapter 4**

**JPOV**

_Protect Isabella. Protect Isabella. Protect Isabella_.

The words rang out loudly through my head, dominating my every thought. I was to protect Isabella. She was my mate... _One of_ my mates. The weakest one anyway. Humans were so fragile.

Alice had decided to drive today, seeing as Edward wasn't here.

_My Edward_. I felt as if I was tearing in two; half of me was happy to stay here and protect Isabella, but the other half was anxious to run up to Alaska and check up on him.

But no. Alice had told me to use my head, so here I was.

"...and don't expect me to keep an eye on you to stop you from eating her..."

Ah, yes. Rosalie. Not content with being fobbed off with a half-explanation from Carlisle over yesterday's events, she had been complaining ever since. About me, about Edward and about Isabella Swan.

"...and if you go for her again don't expect me to do anything, I don't care about her."

Sick of her complaining I decided to make my intentions clear. "Yes, you will stop me."

"Excuse me?"

"I said that you will stop me if I attack Isabella in front of you." I chanced a glance at her in the rear-view mirror and met her furious glare with one of my own. "Because if I attack her at school it will expose us and we'll have to clean up the mess and move again to settle somewhere else. So no, you won't do nothing, because if you want to stay here you'll have to stop me. You got it?"

Rosalie let out a shriek of frustration, her beautiful mouth transforming into an ugly snarl. I growled back quietly and she huffed, deliberately turning her body away from me to stare resolutely out of the window. Next to me I could see the corner of Alice's lips turning upwards as she fought to suppress her smile.

As the car pulled into the school grounds I scanned the collection of cars already there. My eyes immediately zoomed in on Isabella's truck and its owner, who was currently struggling out of the cab.

Strangely she froze as soon as she noticed the Volvo driving into the lot, tracking the car as it stopped and we all climbed out. I breathed in deeply, tasting her scent on my tongue. I knew that if I couldn't cope with it now, from afar and when I was expecting it, then I wouldn't be able to stay.

Venom streamed into my mouth, but now that I knew why I was able to swallow it down easily. Isabella's blood was still as enticing as ever, but strangely I felt no desire to sprint across the lot and attack her. Instead it was as if my assault on Rosalie yesterday had put everything into perspective for me. I couldn't hurt Isabella. Not that I would recommend leaving her in an enclosed space with me, but still, the thought that I could restrain myself was comforting.

A soft touch on my arm brought me out of my thoughts. Alice was looking up at me with concern and understanding. "Alright?"

"Yes." I shook my head to clear it. "I'll be fine." The others visibly relaxed and I realised that despite Rosalie's protests they were ready to stop me if needed.

Rosalie huffed before stomping off, Emmett trailing after her, and I braced myself to face the school day.

Closing my eyes I focused all of my senses on Isabella Swan, pinpointing her heartbeat so that I could recognize it anywhere in this town - a heartbeat that for some reason was beating faster than it should be.

Locking onto her emotions I caught a strange mixture of curiosity and lust tinged with an edge of disappointment.

My eyes shot to her in confusion, only to find her staring over at us...No, not us. Me.

As soon as she caught me looking back at her she blushed, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably and shaking her hair so that it covered her face. Grabbing her bag she hurried away towards the school, stealing glances at me as she walked.

"She likes you." I had almost forgotten that Alice was still next to me, as focused as I had been on Isabella.

"She lusts for me and she's curious about us. That's not quite the same thing as liking me, Alice." As much as I hoped that Isabella felt the connection between us it was early days yet. "Besides she was also disappointed by me." I shrugged. "So not much hope there."

"She was disappointed by Edward."

"What?" I turned to face Alice.

"He behaved rudely yesterday when he was trying not to attack her. She was planning to confront him today about it, only he's not here. Just because his decision to leave made sure that conversation never happened doesn't mean that she's changed her mind as well," she explained.

"So she was looking for Edward." I felt my own disappointment rise in response to Alice's comments.

"She was looking for both of you. She did notice you yesterday in the corridors, Jasper." Alice rubbed my arm lightly. "Speaking of which, we better get going if we don't want to be late for class."

Nodding in thought, I followed her blindly.

For the first half of the day I didn't even bother to pretend to pay attention. I sat in my classes, face blank and ears pricked, monitoring Isabella's heartbeat. I got lucky. Despite being in different years we ended up in the same school buildings a lot, which made keeping track of her easier.

I briefly considered whether Isabella would end up having a closer relationship with Edward – when he came back – given that physically and emotionally they were the same age. Being in the same class also meant that they would spend more time together during the day than I would with either of them and I worried that I would be sidelined. I couldn't bear it if I was.

"Knock it off." An elbow dug into my side and I shot a confused look towards Emmett who was sitting next to me. "You're beginning to make even me depressed and Mrs Goff's practically crying in despair."

I cast a glance towards our Spanish teacher and saw that she was in fact sniffling pitifully as she blinked back tears.

Taking a deep breath I concentrated on creating a blanket of calm that covered the class, reigning in my wayward emotions as I did so.

"Dude, what's with you lately?" Emmett crooked an eyebrow questioningly.

I shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to answer.

"Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, that's cool."

I shook my head at him. "It's not that I don't want to talk about it, but just...it's not just me. There are other people concerned who deserve to know what's going on first."

"Edward," Emmett guessed.

"Yes, Edward. There are things that he deserves to know first, not just about me, but about the current situation."

I could practically see the cogs turning in Emmett's head as he connected my hints with what he had seen. "There's something about that Swan girl, isn't there? She's involved somehow?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "But I don't know in what capacity yet, so I would prefer it if you..."

"Say no more, brother, I get it. Just promise you won't keep us in the dark for long."

"As soon as Edward gets back."

Emmett nodded and we began packing up our belongings as Mrs Goff called an end to the class. She was still feeling a little emotionally fragile.

Feeling guilty I pushed out another surge of calm and relaxation towards her as we left the room, only to find Alice waiting for us outside the door.

"Jasper," she sang out. I hated that tone of voice, it meant she knew something and was now trying to manipulate the situation.

"What?" I barked out ungraciously.

"I left one of my books in the car and have to run to trig now. I knew that you had a free period and was wondering if you'd go and get it for me?"

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. I knew damn well that Alice never forgot anything, just as I knew that she was more than capable of getting the book herself and making it to trig with plenty of time to spare.

Next to me Emmett was sniggering, well aware of what Alice was doing. "Better run along there, Jasper. Hop to it."

Glaring at him I threw a pulse fear his way, watching him freeze as his terror registered. Retracting the emotion, Emmett shook his body starting from his head and working his way downwards. It vaguely reminded me of a wet dog ridding itself of water.

He shot me a hard look, but there was no true anger behind it. "Fine, I get the picture, I'm off. Have fun, Jazzy," he mocked.

"So about that book..." Alice cut in and I turned to face her once more.

"Don't start that, Alice. What's this really about?"

She nibbled on her lower lip before shrugging at me. "It's your in."

"My in?" I repeated, not having a clue what she was talking about.

"Yes, your in." She prodded me in the chest with one sharp fingernail. "Your in to get to Isabella."

I looked away from her knowing expression. "I don't think that's a good idea yet, Alice."

"Well, when is it going to be a good time, Jasper? This isn't like Edward. Isabella doesn't have ninety years to spare to make up her mind." Her tone softened. "Look, I know you're trying to do the right thing, but I also know that you deserve this. You deserve your mates and you deserve to be happy. Please let me help you be happy."

She was practically pleading with me and in that moment I realised just how scared Alice was. Scared of this relationship not working and scared of the consequences that would unfold as a result. She was clinging to her visions tightly, praying that we would all make the right decisions, terrified that we wouldn't.

"Hey." I ducked down slightly to run my hands over her arms soothingly. "It'll all be alright, Alice. If you want me to go and get your book, then I'll go and get your book, ok?"

She nodded jerkily. "She's going to get hurt, Jasper," she whispered. "If you don't help her she'll be hurt now, and then she won't stand a chance later."

"She'll be hurt?" I was alarmed. Isabella was so breakable, I couldn't let that happen. And what did Alice mean by later?

"Alice..."

"Jasper, please."

"Go to your trig class, I'll meet you there afterwards."

"Thank you, Jasper." She clutched my hand, squeezing it gratefully before darting away to the other side of the school.

I attempted to steel myself for whatever was to come, not least that I would be forced into Isabella's presence and forced to resist her blood once more.

Making my way to the Volvo I quickly located the book that Alice had left there. Locking the car I suddenly tensed as that beautiful aroma drifted across the parking lot to me. Stiffly turning my head to one side I located her at once.

The wind had tossed her hair around and the cold had painted a delicious looking flush upon her cheeks. She looked mouth-watering; simply dressed, but with an entirely natural beauty that I found immediately attractive. One thing that I couldn't stand on modern women was their inability to go anywhere without thick layers of make-up pasted over their faces. To see Isabella without that was refreshing.

Now what was I supposed to do?

Alice had told me to fetch the book and...bring it to her trig classroom; a route that would take me directly past Isabella. I closed my eyes and pinched my nose in frustration, a move I'd picked up from Edward about thirty years ago.

Ok. I could do this.

_Protect Isabella_. _Protect Isabella_. _Protect Isabella_.

My mantra rang out in my head as I walked towards her, my concentration narrowing down to those two words which meant everything.

Isabella was walking with her head down, reading a piece of paper and occasionally stopping to check out her surroundings. A slight frown had appeared on her face and I wondered what she was looking for.

...and then she stated walking again, eyes still focused on the paper, concrete stairs right in front of her.

I saw her movements as if in slow-motion - her foot inching forward as she slipped, the exact moment she felt herself begin to fall and the look of resigned fear as she braced herself for impact. Her feet skidded out in front of her, her back arching backwards and my mind accurately mapped out the path of her fall – which step her back would hit, the place where her foot would become trapped and twist, the spot where her neck would hit the corner of a stair with enough force to...

I moved before I could think. My body effortlessly throwing itself across the parking lot too fast for a human. My arms unconsciously shot out to scoop Isabella up mid-fall, one cradling around her shoulders and the other scooping up her legs.

Her arms, which had flailed out at she fell, now latched onto me, curling around my neck. Her eyes were tightly clenched shut. We were both breathing heavily with the shock of what had happened.

Gathering my composure I carried Isabella back up to the top of the stairs. She didn't respond, her eyes stayed shut and a faint flush was slowly heating up her face and neck.

I went to speak, but had to clear my throat first. She felt right in my arms, like she belonged – the same way that Edward did when I had held him. Her warmth was beginning to seep through my clothing and I relished the sensation. Alice was right, this girl was important and I wouldn't be able to sit back now and ignore her presence. If nothing else she clearly needed protecting from normal human hazards.

"Are you alright?" My voice was raspy, my mind still recalling the fear I had felt when I realised what would happen to her if I'd let her fall. I knew what would happen, what sound her neck would make when it snapped. I'd created that sound more times in the past than I cared to remember.

At the sound of my voice Isabella's eyes snapped open and she gazed up dazedly at me.

"Are you alright?" I repeated.

Isabella averted her eyes from mine, blushing heavily and a strong wave of embarrassment and lust that I didn't understand hit me.

"Yes." Her voice was quiet, the word practically mumbled as she continued to avoid looking directly at me.

We were both silent for a moment, before I shook myself out of my stupor and realized that I was standing there stupidly, still holding onto her. Gently lowering her legs I made sure she was steady on her feet before I slid my other arm away. As soon as I let her go I regretted it and my fingers unconsciously twitched at my side, yearning to touch her again. I noted with pleasure that her body was leaning minutely towards mine.

She stood there, head down, peeking at me from under her hair and I decided that I had to say something otherwise she would walk away and who knows when I'd get the opportunity to talk to her again.

"Were you lost, Isabella?"

She frowned at me.

"You appear to have been turned around," I clarified, picking up the piece of paper and her bag that she had dropped and handing them back to her.

She blushed again, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. "No, I just needed some fresh air for a moment." She hesitated for a moment. "Everyone was just crowding me and I had to get away."

Ah, the hoards had already descended upon her, the prospect of a new toy to play with and speculate about too tempting to resist. "They can be a bit overwhelming, especially if you're new."

She smiled up at me and I felt her relief that I hadn't been offended by her candidness. I grinned back at her and felt her heartbeat speed up, her breath hitching in her throat.

Frowning in concern I questioned her. "You're not hurt, are you?"

She shot me a confused look and it took me a moment to catch on. Of course she wouldn't understand where my sudden concern was coming from; she didn't know that I could read her body perfectly. I thought fast.

"From your fall. Are you alright after that fall?"

"Oh right." Her face cleared. "Yes, I'm fine, thanks to you."

"You're welcome. I'm just glad you're not hurt." The twitches in my fingers were getting stronger now, itching to touch her again.

Isabella's head was down again, staring at her feet as her shoes scuffed the ground. Peering up she considered me, biting her lip again. "So, you're Jasper Hale, right?" She blushed, her eyes darting away from mine, unable to maintain contact for long.

I, on the other hand, couldn't keep my eyes of her. My heightened sight took in and noted every feature of her face and body...well, what parts of her body I could see under her heavy winter coat. She was emitting that lovely combination of lust and curiosity again and I wondered whether her emotional reaction to Edward would be the same as her reaction to me.

I blinked at the name she used, cursing the fact that our ruse necessitated sharing names and cursing Rosalie for being too vain to give hers up.

Isabella seemed to take my momentary silence as a question and she hurried to explain herself. "Jessica pointed you out to me yesterday at lunch. I mean...she pointed out everyone...but also you and your family as well. I didn't mean that she just pointed out you or I asked or..."

I cut her off, desperate to rescue her from her pained humiliation, despite how adorable her panicked babbling was. "Yes, I'm Jasper. And you're Isabella, right?" I made it a question to make her more comfortable. She had already confessed her dislike for the attention she was receiving as the new student. I didn't want to throw it in her face that I already knew her.

"Bella," she corrected. "Just Bella."

I caught myself before I could make any corny remark over her name meaning beautiful in Italian, instead smiling and nodding in acknowledgement to her preference.

She was staring at me again, only this time more openly, as if she couldn't help herself. I couldn't help myself either and returned her attention, both of us scanning and memorizing each other's faces.

Realising that we were stood in full view of the school, staring at each other, I forced my eyes away, clearing my throat although there was no need.

"So, are you supposed to be in class at the moment?"

"Oh god, yes." The serenity that fallen across her face when we were watching each other was now replaced by worry. "And I'm late too." She wrung her hands in front of her, anxiety rising in her body.

"Hey." I reached out and touched her for the first time since I had caught her, my hand curling supportively around her slender shoulder. "I'll just take you to the nurse's office and say that you fell, she'll give you a note to take to class."

"Really?" She beamed at me and I felt my lips curve up in an answering smile. "Thanks." The frown line between her brows emerged again. "What about you? I've held you up from your class too."

"I've got a free period," I reassured her. Scanning the ground I located Alice's book at the bottom of the steps and indicated towards it. "I was just getting one of my sister's books out of the car for her."

My palm left her skin as I ran quickly down the stairs to retrieve the text and Bella whimpered quietly at the loss of contact. I felt her distress keenly. Hurrying back to her I offered her my arm, as I would have if she were a young lady I was courting in my youth.

She took it immediately and I noted that she didn't seem to feel the survival instincts that kept the other humans from lingering too long in our presence.

We strolled along to the main building, sneaking glances at each other and smiling bashfully when we caught each other in the act. This was completely out of character for me – since when was I ever bashful?

Straightening my back, I focused on drawing my own emotions in around myself and immediately felt the shyness that had marked my encounter with Bella recede. I found myself shocked at how quickly my emotions had wrapped around hers, merging together. It wasn't something I usually experienced with Edward, we both kept such a tight leash on ourselves that I wondered if it was even possible.

Leading Bella to the nurse's office I charmed Mrs Hammond into signing a late pass for Bella due to her accident and then led her to her Spanish class, stopping just outside the closed door. She held onto my arm the entire way and I welcomed her touch gladly.

"Well, looks like this is me." Her voice sounded out her disappointment and I tried not to let it affect me. After all, I planned to be seeing a lot more of her, if only to keep her safe and protected. "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Of course." I smiled down at her. "I'll look forward to it."

We lingered for a moment, neither of us wanting to move. That pretty rose flush was rising up her face again.

Taking a chance that she wouldn't mind I looped a strand of hair over my fingers and tucked it behind her ear, trailing my fingers along her jaw after.

"You better get to class." In this instance I hated being responsible, I didn't want her to leave. Everyone was walking away from me lately.

"Right," she nodded. "Bye, Jasper."

She shuffled into the classroom and the door closed behind her, leaving me slumped against the lockers on the other side of the hall. Swearing softly to myself I rubbed a hand tiredly across my face attempting to regain my usual composure.

With Bella safely behind a brick wall my hunger returned with full force, the venom practically dripping out if the corners of my mouth. Walking quickly I exited the front of the school, taking the time to toss Alice's book back into the car. As soon as I hit the tree line I was running for the second time in two days.

And for the second time after draining the bodies of two deer I was lying sprawled out on my back wondering what had just happened.

The bloodlust was the curious thing. Although Bella's scent made me hunger like no other's – apart from Edward – had, I had felt completely in control of myself. Not once while I was talking to or touching her did I feel like I was going to attack her. Her blood still called to my base vampiric instincts, but it appeared that she physically had nothing to fear from me as long as I kept myself sated.

Clearing up the mess from my hunt I made my way back to the school, merging seamlessly in with the crowds of students emerging for lunch.

Negotiating round the throngs of people to the cafeteria, where my family waited, I threw myself into my chair, tossing the damn book I had retrieved once more in front of Alice. My sister was bouncing in her seat, fidgeting impatiently as Emmett and Rosalie looked on bemusedly. I remained silent, waiting for her to crack.

"Well?" she demanded.

"Well what?" I deliberately kept my face blank, knowing it would drive her crazy.

She smacked my arm. "Don't you 'well what' me, Jasper Whitlock!"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"So?" She was back to bouncing, her fingers tapping the table impatiently, leaving tiny dents in the surface.

My mouth cracked into a grin, sending her squealing in happiness. "I've got my in."


	5. Feeling A Moment

**Here's chapter 5 and chapter 6 is already written so hopefully it should be posted slightly after this. Thanks for reading and sticking with me and thanks to my lovely beta 1MrsECullen.**

**I own nothing but the plot.**

**Feeling a Moment**** – Chapter 5**

**JPOV**

My elation at having made a connection with Bella – talking to her, holding her – lasted through lunch, where we exchanged covert smiles across the cafeteria, and the two classes after. After school, however, was a different matter.

I had completed the pop-quiz we had in English in record time and been released out of class early. I hovered around the car, unwilling to shut myself into the metal contraption before the rest of my family got out of school. Perching on top of the hood I was careful not to let my feet scuff the paintwork; Edward would hate damage done to his car.

I could see Rosalie and Emmett in the distance, coming out of their Spanish class, and Alice was dancing over from the main building. And just past her, emerging bedraggled and tired from the gym, was Bella.

Her hair was practically falling out of the elastic she had crammed it into, hanging limply around her face. The glow of happiness that had surrounded her and warmed my soul as I absorbed it was completely depleted. The only glow she now sported was a slight redness of skin around her temple, too faint for human eyes to see, but perfectly clear to my own. She had been hit by something, probably a ball, I guessed. Her gait as she walked was slightly uneven and I could tell that she was favouring her left side.

Was all of this just from gym class? She had been in perfect health when she had left the cafeteria, how could so much damage be done in a two-hour period?

Looking up she noticed me watching her and offered a weak smile. I tried to respond in kind, but my smile was more of a grimace as my worry for her took over.

Jumping off the hood of the car I took one step forward, ready to help her across the rest of the parking lot, only to have Alice slam me back against the vehicle, one deceptively small hand pinning me firmly against the headlights.

"Don't cause a fuss, Jasper. We still need to keep a low profile around her for now."

"But she's hurt," I protested.

"I know," Alice agreed sympathetically. "But you can't barge over there and sweep her up. Not only would it bring unwelcome attention to us, but to her as well."

"She doesn't like all the attention," I stated thoughtfully.

"Exactly! And neither do we. She's human and we're not. We're going to have to be very careful about how we bring her into our world."

"But..."

"Will you listen to Alice for once, Jasper?" Rosalie's sharp voice cut into our conversation. I hadn't even heard her and Emmett approach. "If you're really determined to have _her _around, then you're going to have to tread very carefully."

I turned my head to look at my blond sister. She met my gaze with defiance over her words, but also a hint of sympathy. She couldn't see this ending well, but was still trying to help in her own way. I nodded towards her in acknowledgment. She huffed and slid into the front of the car. Looks like Rosalie was driving home.

I looked pleadingly towards Alice, but she shook her head. Offering Bella one last smile I let myself into the backseat, closing my eyes and locking down my emotions as I did so.

Alice slid into the car next to me, but I ignored her. To her credit she didn't try to engage me in conversation, leaving me to get a hold on my rapidly see-sawing feelings.

As soon as we were home I shot out of the car, running up the stairs and throwing myself onto the dark-red sofa in the middle of my office. I needed to think clearly and I couldn't do that with everyone else around.

Meeting Bella had gone well – better than I expected – and I had managed to keep her from grievously injuring herself; but the damage she had sustained in the latter part of the day showed that I hadn't done a good enough job.

So now I had to work out how to keep Bella even more safe than before. I could protect her in the hallways and during lunch. I could even essentially stalk her around town to make sure she didn't encounter any mishaps. What I couldn't do was be there in her classes so she wouldn't sustain more damage. I doubted even my powers of persuasion could encourage the school board to allow me to drop a grade and be in the same classes as Bella to watch over her.

...I knew someone who could though.

"Alice," I called, knowing that she would be waiting for me to work through my feelings.

She appeared immediately at the door, before crossing the room and throwing herself on top of my stomach. I felt like I had been deflated.

"Yes?" Her voice was questioning, but she must have already known something.

"What have you seen?"

"You asking me something, but you seem to be wavering in your resolve there," she replied.

I stared at her, assessing whether this was the path I should take. "Will you rearrange your classes so you share them with Bella?"

"You're worried about her. What if you can't protect her from normal human injuries?"

I shot upright, dislodging her from her seat and dumping her on the ground. "Breaking your neck on a set of stairs is hardly a common occurrence, Alice."

"It happens though."

"Of course it happens." The tension and frustration was beginning to radiate out from me. "But why does it have to happen to Bella? If I can protect her, why shouldn't I?"

"Even from a sprained ankle?"

"Even from a sprained ankle. Why should I let her be in pain if I can stop it?" I glared down at Alice, daring her to question me further.

She stared down at her fingers, avoiding my gaze. "She's human, Jasper. Please try to remember that bumps and scrapes come as part of that."

I leaned my head back, considering her words. "You think I'm being too overprotective."

"No."

"Alice," I prompted.

"Ok, I think you're being a little bit overprotective, which is understandable; she's your mate and you want the best for her."

"But..."

"But I think it would be too easy to go overboard and push her further away from you. I don't think she would appreciate you watching her every step, it would be too controlling."

"Oh god." I rubbed my hands over my face before running my fingers through my hair. "I don't want to be too controlling, I just want to make sure she's alright."

"And I think she'd understand that, if you give her the space to." Alice was quiet for a minute and I could almost hear her puzzling things out in her head. I took the opportunity to replay my meeting with Isabella – no, with Bella – from earlier, cataloguing every facial expression and emotion she had displayed.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Alice?"

"How was your meeting today? I saw that it would go well, but not exactly what happened."

"It was good, it was really good." My face cracked into a huge grin and I wondered how long it had been since I had properly smiled. Alice giggled and I realised that I must have been projecting some of my good mood out to her. "She's so amazing. She didn't have a problem with being near me, didn't shy away at all, and she was upset when I had to leave her in class. She was...god, Alice, it was like we were meant for each other."

"You know, technically you are, being mates and all," she teased.

I frowned, trying to put it into words. "No, it just seemed like it was all so..." I stopped.

"So easy," Alice finished, smiling sympathetically. "Being with your mate was so easy."

"Yes," I whispered.

"Just like you'd always imagined."

"Yes."

"Not like with Edward."

I felt my face contract from its beaming expression to one of distress. My mouth opened and then closed again as I struggled with my words. "No. Not like with Edward."

"He does love you, Jasper," she insisted.

I grunted noncommittally.

"Well I know he does, even if you don't." Her face was petulant, lower lip sticking out.

"I just..." Alice was quiet as she let me think. "It was just that seeing Bella, talking to Bella...She was so receptive to me, without knowing anything about what I am or what's going on. And it felt like I didn't have to worry, because she was there and she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I've never had that with Edward. I've come to him, moving around with the Cullens, becoming part of the same family and it just feels like I'm always the one making all the effort there. He's not coming to me, Alice, and I don't know that he ever will."

Alice opened her mouth to speak and I held up a hand, halting her.

"I know that he's confused, Alice. And I know that he might struggle with the implications of a relationship with another man, but what that says to me is that when he finds out about Bella and their mating, he'll be more inclined to pursue that and reject me."

"Jasper, that's not going to happen. I can promise you that that's not in any of your futures"

"And yet I still worry." I blew out a gust of air in frustration. "I'm sorry, I know I sound ridiculous."

"You really do."

I glared at my blonde sister who had intruded into my office and was now leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe.

"Piss off, Rosalie."

She ignored me.

"Actually what I was going to say is that you sound just like Edward. Always worrying, never doing anything."

I growled at her and was rewarded with a smirk.

"I'm serious, Jasper. If what you and Alice are saying is true and she is your mate as well as Edward's, then you need to stop worrying and start being you. You can't have two Edwards in this relationship, Jasper. You'll have the most emo, fucked-up life ever that way."

"I didn't think eavesdropping was your style, Rosalie."

She shifted uncomfortably before lifting her chin defiantly. "I'm not going to apologise for wanting to protect my family."

"This has nothing to do with the family."

"Bullshit! If you're going to risk us all by bringing that skinny little runt into our home, then it's as much my business as anyone else's." She ignored my snarl at hearing Bella referred to as a 'runt'.

"Do not talk about her like that." I enunciated every word clearly, making sure she understood me.

She continued to scowl at me, but I noted that one hand reflexively fluttered up to protect her throat. She understood what was at stake here.

When she next spoke her voice was softer. "Look Jasper, I'm sorry, but I need to make sure this family comes out of this unscathed and as yet nobody will tell me or Emmett what's going on. You two go sneaking off for secret talks with Carlisle, Edward disappears and we're just supposed to what? Sit here and just accept it? Why won't you tell us what's going on?"

Her voice trembled at the end and reaching out I realised that Rosalie was genuinely frightened. She always did hate change. Keeping everything predictable and boring helped her to close off the world and get through this life that little bit easier.

I pinched my nose in frustration.

Alice was staring wide-eyed between the two of us and decided to answer when I couldn't. "Rose, the reason why we haven't said anything is because so much of the future depends upon Edward and he isn't aware of what's going on either."

Her mouth turned downwards. "So he doesn't know about her being his mate? Or that she's yours as well?"

"No," I confirmed.

"Does he know that he's your mate too? Oh don't look at me like that, Jasper, I'm not stupid. Why else would you put up with him for so long? He's not exactly a ray of sunshine."

For some reason I found this amusing and a snicker left my lips.

I considered my sister. "When Edward knows, Rosalie, then I'll tell you the rest."

"Do you promise?" She was insistent.

"I promise," I vowed.

Rosalie took a deep breath before nodding shakily. "As long as we're clear on that."

I inclined my head back, not breaking her gaze. "We're clear."

"Emmett and I are going to hunt later on; do you want to come with us? You'll need to stay full if you're going to be around her more."

"Yes, thank you," I replied, amazed by her thoughtfulness.

She spun on her heel and stalked off as quickly as she had arrived. I looked to Alice in confusion.

"I told you before. We're family. Even Rosalie's not going to let you dig your own grave." She giggled at the thought.

It was strange. Rosalie and I had never been close. Her emotions were normally too volatile for me to enjoy spending too much time with her and her constant, brittle demeanour stopped me from ever trying to change that. I much preferred Emmett's company usually, his constant flickering between being cheerful and being horny much easier to decipher and deal with. His feelings were always open and on the surface for all to see. Edward had once confided in me that his thoughts were the same. If he thought it then he said it. Simple as that.

Alice cleared her throat and I broke out of my thoughts with a start.

"You better get ready to go hunting, they'll be leaving soon."

I stood up and stretched. "Are you coming with us?"

"No. I've hunted the last two days with you and I'm stuffed now." She rubbed her stomach and giggled lightly. "I suppose I should go and finish my homework."

I smirked. "And that'll take what, five minutes?"

"I'm sure I'll find something else to do. Maybe you could stay and have girl time with me?"

I shuddered in mock horror. "I think I'll pass, thank you."

"I thought you might," she grinned.

She jumped up off the floor and as she sauntered towards the door I suddenly remembered why we were even having this conversation.

"Alice..."

"Of course I'll transfer into Bella's classes and keep an eye on her. You should've known that you didn't have to ask." Laughing, she gave an airy wave and flitted away.

And I went off to hunt. Again.

The next few days went remarkably well.

Alice had transferred into Bella's classes and had quickly ingratiated herself with my mate. She had come home on the first day of her new schedule bursting with excitement over her new acquaintance, babbling happily about how the two were going to be best friends and sisters. She was so enamoured by her that she had foregone sitting with the family at lunch for the last two days in favour of sitting with Bella and her other classmates.

Although everyone had been rather taken aback by her sudden friendliness, they had soon been won over by her general exuberance. She was the happiest that she had been in years and it made me wonder how long she had been feeling lonely for. She was dearly loved in our family, but she was a sole individual in a houseful of pairs – if Edward and I could even be called a pair.

So there they sat for the last two days, whispering and sniggering to each other and shooting not-so-covert glances my way. I could have listened in to what they were saying, heaven knows they were talking loudly enough in order to be heard over the constant roar in the cafeteria, but instead chose to leave them alone. If they wanted me to know what they were saying then I was sure they wouldn't hesitate to tell me.

Alice had also managed to bring Bella out of her shell a bit and for that I was grateful. For her first three days here at Forks she had walked around with a vaguely petrified and tired look upon her face. She had smiled a lot more over the last couple of days and it reflected back on me.

Every time she grinned I felt her happiness shoot through me like a bolt of lightning and would inevitably be left sporting a massive grin. Rosalie had smacked me round the back more than once for "gurning like an idiot."

Despite our talk on Tuesday on the steps, Bella and I had not had any further contact with each other. Instead it seemed that we were constantly sneaking glances at each other when we could, smiling secretively when we caught the other's eye.

Yet it wasn't awkward. Working towards a relationship with Bella was moving at a slow pace, but both of us seemed content to gradually work towards it, rather than just rushing in. The shared smiles were all we needed at the moment, so that was what we had.

Naturally Alice had other plans.

We were driving back from school on Friday afternoon, Rosalie at the wheel and me mourning the lack of contact that I would have with Bella over the weekend, when Alice made her grand announcement.

"By the way, Bella's going to be coming over tomorrow afternoon to work on our English project."

We were all thrown forward out of our seats as the car made an emergency stop, brakes squealing and wheels spinning on the wet road.

"What?!" Rosalie hissed.

Her shock was no less great than mine and I turned to stare incredulously at Alice.

"Alright," Emmett cheered. "It'll be nice to get to know this Bella chick if she's going to stick around."

"Nice? Nice?! You want to invite that human into our house and you think it'll be nice?!"

Emmett flinched back from his wife's ire, holding his hands up in protest. "I just mean, if she's going to be around with Jasper a lot then we'll need to get used to her in the house. That's all, babe."

Rosalie's teeth ground together audibly, but she obligingly threw the car back into gear and drove the rest of the way home. As soon as the vehicle stopped though she threw the car door open, snapping one of the hinges as she did.

She stormed off to the garage, Emmett trailing behind her. I was amazed that she waited until she was in the relative privacy of the building before she started ranting about having a human come to the house. I shook my head, completely confused as to how she could be incredibly supportive of the situation one minute and then extremely resentful the next.

"Edward's going to be pissed."

"What?" I swung around to face Alice and saw her staring sadly at the driver's door, now hanging precariously from the rest of the car.

"His Volvo; he's going to be upset that it's broken."

"I'll fix it later." The shout came from the garage.

"Come on, Alice." I put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her lightly. "You know Rosalie wouldn't leave the car like that."

"I know." She looked down sadly as we crossed the porch into the house. "I just wish she wasn't so upset about Bella coming here. She's going to be a part of our family and I'd like her to be comfortable here."

A slow smile crossed my face as I picked up on her unintentional slip. "So, Bella's going to be a part of this family, is she?"

Alice smacked my arm and my grin widened. "Oh, shut up. You knew there was a possibility of it happening so I don't know why you're so surprised." She was fighting her own smile now in the face of my happiness. Reaching up to cup my face, she patted my cheeks condescendingly. "You must be doing something right then, Jasper. Now out."

She pointed a finger imperiously towards the hall and I realised that while we had been talking I had inadvertently followed her upstairs into her room.

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Miss Alice?" I intentionally exaggerated my accent, my manic grin still splashed across my face.

She huffed then slapped my arm. "Yes. I need to get everything ready for when Bella gets here. Do you think she'll want to eat? She'll want to eat. I should go and get some food later for her." She began pushing at me, shoving me out into the hall. "I need to get everything perfect for when she comes and I don't need you getting in the way."

She slammed the door in my face and I heard her mutter "men" derogatorily under her breath from behind the surface.

I shrugged to myself, deciding that it was probably for the best to leave Alice to herself for a while. It amused me to see her both so excited and so nervous at the same time.

"Jasper." Alice had stuck her head out of the door and was peering at me speculatively.

"Yes?" The tone of my voice was wary.

"Don't look at me like that, since when have I ever asked you to do anything truly horrible?"

I raised an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Ok, so there was that one time in Bismarck, but that was for your own good." She crossed her arms defiantly. My eyebrow stayed raised. "Jasper," she whined, stamping her foot.

My calm demeanour cracked at that, it was too funny to see Alice acting this way to keep a straight face. "What did you want?"

"Oh right." She shook herself out of her strop. "I just wanted to tell you to remember to hunt tonight before Bella comes over tomorrow."

"Will I even be seeing Bella tomorrow? I thought she was coming over to spend time with you, not me."

Of course she's coming over to see me, but that doesn't mean that she can't see you too. In fact I know that both of you will be disappointed if you don't see each other. It's about time that you saw more of each other."

"Alice, she might not want to be pushed into seeing me," I warned.

"Of course she'll want to see you." Alice glared at me as if I were stupid, which I possibly was. "What are you talking about?" She huffed again in exasperation. "Look just make sure you're here, fully fed, by the time that Bella gets over here tomorrow, ok?"

I nodded and smiled cheekily. "Yes, ma'am."

I turned to head downstairs when I heard Alice muttering at me.

"And less of the 'ma'am' business, thank you."

I ran swiftly into the forest surrounding the house and spent most of the night there, joined during various parts of the day by Emmett, Esme and Carlisle. Everyone wanted to meet Bella when she arrived and so everyone was taking extra precautions to avoid any accidents.

I couldn't wait to see her again, but had decided to remain cautious and keep my distance until Alice brought her to me. I didn't want her to feel too crowded like she sometimes appeared to be at school. It was scary how alike she, Edward and I seemed. We were all solitary creatures by nature.

By the time I got back from hunting in the morning I was in desperate need of a shower. In my efforts to full gorge myself I had been less than careful with my food and was now covered in blood and dirt. Alice scowled at me as I walked in the door and I held up my hands in supplication.

"I know, I know. I'm going. I'll be clean by the time she gets here. Don't worry."

"You better be," she warned, tapping one foot impatiently against the wooden floor. "I don't think Bella would appreciate your bloody state."

I obeyed. What else could I do?


	6. The Sweetest Thing

**Here's chapter 6, I hope you all like it. Millions of thanks and hugs to my beta 1MrsECullen and my WC girls for the help and encouragement.**

**Just to let you know as well I'm participating in The Fandom Gives Back Eclipse Edition and an outtake of Another Heart Calls in a POV of your choice will be up for auction if you feel like bidding.**

**I own nothing except the plot. Enjoy.**

**The Sweetest Thing**

**JPOV**

I was still in the shower when I heard Bella arrive and hurried to get dry and dressed. Luckily Alice, being the controlling little freak she is, had already left a shirt and some pants out on my bed so I obediently changed into them.

Throwing on some shoes I practically ran down the stairs. Bella had already been greeted by the family and was now complimenting Esme on the design of the house. My adoptive mother was practically bursting with happiness and contentment at Bella's arrival and I knew that Carlisle must have divulged some of our conversation from earlier in the week to her. I hesitated on the last step, just soaking up the atmosphere of the room for a minute. Carlisle was happy when Esme was happy and both Alice and Emmett were practically bouncing with excitement.

Rosalie was stood calmly off to one side, no longer feeling the resentment that had previously marred any mention of Bella to her. Instead she was merely cautious, as she was when meeting any new person, and I smiled at her as I took the last stair down.

Esme was now chatting about Edward's piano, which Bella had inquired about, and I watched intently as she trailed her fingers over the instrument. I took the opportunity to study her covertly while she was turned away from me and my focus narrowed onto her form while Alice began talking about something or another.

She was dressed in a dark green skirt with a blue shirt having obviously made an effort in her appearance - when at school I had never seen her out of a pair of jeans. Her hair had been brushed until it shined and when she shifted the air stirred the scent of that luscious blood over to me along with an almost floral edge.

Alice was still speaking and I regained my awareness of the outside world just in time.

"...and of course you've already met Jasper, haven't you?"

"Yes." Bella blushed deliciously. "We met a few days ago. He stopped me from falling on the steps at school." Her voice was soft and she seemed to replay the memory with pleasure.

I smiled at her, strangely touched by this mention in front of my family. I had been the screw up for so long that it was nice for them to see that I could do the right thing on occasion.

"It's lovely to see you again, Bella." I hit myself mentally as soon as the words left my mouth. I had an unparalleled knowledge of vocabulary and the best I could manage to describe being in her presence was 'lovely'!

God, I needed help.

Unfortunately my help was currently dragging Bella up to her room, chatting about homework and planning a shopping trip with her new best friend. I consoled myself with the knowledge that at least Bella had looked as sad to be leaving me as I felt to see her go.

"Cheer up, Jasper. If she's still interested with you staring at her like a complete moron then I can't see her running away anytime soon."

Emmett snickered at his wife's caustic comments and I turn to glare at both of them.

"Rosalie," Esme admonished and my sister had the good grace to look slightly ashamed. It didn't last long.

"Well, Emmett and I are going out. We've all been introduced so I see no point in sticking around while she's here."

"What?" Emmett looked shocked. "But Babe, she's like a real human and stuff. That shit's funny..." He was still complaining as he hurried after Rosalie who had managed to stalk past him imperiously, out the back door and towards the tree-line.

I looked to Carlisle and Esme who were still in the lounge with me where we had been left. Esme was perched on her toes and was thrumming with joy. I could tell that the next few days were going to be wonderful to spend around her. When she was in this sort of mood it was a joy to be in her presence as much as possible.

"Oh, Jasper, she's lovely. She's beautiful and so polite. I'll have to make sure that I buy more food for the next time she comes around and maybe a few other bits and pieces so that she's comfortable."

She leapt forward and gave me a hug. I froze, completely unprepared for such action. Usually the rest of the family avoided physical interaction with me, my warring past deterring them from contact. Only Alice, and occasionally Edward, would normally dare to approach me. But this week... Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Esme. I had never shared so much physical contact with so many members of my family before. It just reinforced how cut off I'd been and how much I wanted to be mated and wanted to be touched without fear tainting the encounter.

My arms awkwardly came around Esme and gently hugged her back. Leaning back slightly she cupped my face in her hands and scrutinized me. "Yes, you'll be very happy with her. I can tell." I fidgeted under her gaze.

"Esme." Carlisle's arm wrapped gently his wife and tugged her away from me. "Leave the poor boy alone. This relationship is new and I'm sure Jasper just wants to see how it goes."

I smiled gratefully at him and he nodded back.

"Oh, I know." Esme's enthusiasm couldn't be diminished and she clapped her hands together excitedly. "But I also just know that this is all going to be perfect, especially when Edward gets back as well."

Carlisle rolled his eyes apologetically at me and I waved him off. I knew when I asked him to talk that he would share the conversation with his wife. I just appreciated the fact that he wouldn't have told her everything about Edward's turning, just the mating.

"I should really start thinking about redesigning the rooms for when she stays. Do you think you'll all prefer to be in your suite of rooms, Jasper, or in Edward's?"

"Umm," I mumbled, completely taken aback.

"Oh it's alright. I know you'll all have to talk about this first. I'll just come up with several designs and you can pick which one you like when you've all decided. I wonder about the little cottage at the back of..."

She wandered off, still mumbling about architectural plans and space-saving ideas.

"You'll have to forgive her," Carlisle commented, watching his wife walk away fondly. "She's just excited about you two boys no longer being alone."

"We're not together yet, either with Bella or with each other."

He shrugged. "Maybe not, but I think you underestimate the impact that you have when together."

"Like what?" I asked, curious as to what his observations revealed.

"Well, around Bella you're the happiest I've ever seen you. It's infectious; the whole house is infused with it."

"A bit different from when I'm around Edward, huh?"

Carlisle frowned and thought carefully before he spoke. "I don't think so. Neither of you are particularly exuberant in the first place so it wouldn't stand to reason that you both would be overwhelmingly blissful in the first place."

"Blissful?" I smirked.

Carlisle threw me a wry smile. "I couldn't think of a better word. I think what you don't seem to realise, Jasper, is that since you came to join us Edward has been a lot calmer and much more content in himself than previously. It's interesting to consider whether he would have left us during the twenties like he did if you had been a part of the family then." He considered. "I don't believe he would have. I think you have a much more positive influence on him than you would credit yourself with."

I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably.

Carlisle laughed. "I'm not trying to make you feel uneasy, Jasper. I just wanted you to know that you have had a good influence on Edward, no matter how it might seem otherwise." He stepped forward and clapped me on the back. "It'll all work out, Jasper. I don't think Alice would let it end badly anyway."

We both laughed at that.

"Now, I have to get to the hospital for my next shift, so I'll leave you with the girls. And Jasper..."

"Yes?"

"Try not to be too hard on Esme when she decides to bulldoze and rebuild the entire house from scratch to accommodate Bella's presence here."

I nodded, chuckling. "I won't."

He ran over to Esme's office and I heard him saying goodbye before he left to go to work. I wandered aimlessly around the house before heading upstairs to my own office, bypassing Alice's room as I went. The shut door discouraged me from interrupting as I didn't want to make Bella feel awkward and I knew that Alice would be mad at me if I disturbed her girl time. I could hear them talking quietly about their project on the War of Independence and left them to it.

Reclining back onto my sofa I tried to concentrate on the latest book I had had shipped in on the Civil War. It was a futile effort and instead I found myself daydreaming about Bella. She was so close and I had to fight my body's instinct to go to her.

After a couple of hours I heard Bella and Alice go downstairs for some food and debated joining them.

"Don't even think about it." The warning was quiet but clear. I stayed put.

I wasn't even pretending to read now, instead listening intently as Alice began dragging Bella around the house on a tour of the building. Surprisingly they passed the staircase to the third floor without venturing upstairs to Edward's quarters. Rosalie's room was also skipped out, probably in deference to my sister's lack of love for Bella.

The same privacy wasn't granted to me however. It was only moments before I heard the door to my bedroom swing open and Alice grandly announce "and this is Jasper's room."

The squeak of shoes indicated that Bella was now moving around my bedroom and to my horror I found myself closing my eyes to imagine her there. Since when had I become a romantic fool?

"It's nice," Bella remarked.

"Nice." I could practically see Alice scowl at the comment. "Look. It's got its own bathroom, plenty of wardrobe space, amazing views from the windows and because it's at the end of hall with the offices next to it, it's got plenty of privacy. I just thought you'd appreciate it more given that you'll... Well. Nice," she scoffed.

Bella didn't say anything and I wondered what she thought of Alice's rant as well as her slip of the tongue.

My sister's voice got back to its happy, enthusiastic self only a moment later. "Shall we go and see Jasper's office?"

"Won't he mind?" Reaching out I picked up both happiness and nervousness emanating from Bella. Hopefully she wanted to see me, but was just a bit anxious about seeing me again. I knew I felt that way about her.

"Of course not."

The door swung open and I immediately focused my gaze in that direction. Luckily the book in my lap was still open so it appeared as if they had just interrupted me, rather than that I had been anxiously awaiting their arrival.

"Hello Bella, Alice."

Bella blushed and I felt my body react. Yep, the book was definitely a good idea. "Hi, Jasper."

"I've come to show Bella your office, you don't mind, do you?" Alice grinned at me but it was less a smile and more a baring of teeth.

"Of course not, come in."

Bella smiled quickly at me, before averting her eyes which alighted on the books lining the shelves. "Your house is incredible, you have so many books." She took a step towards them and then hesitated. "May I?" She indicated towards the texts.

"If you see any you like, feel free to borrow them," I offered.

"Really?" Her hands moved upwards to clap together before she forcibly stopped them from meeting. She scurried over to the shelves, immediately becoming immersed in the titles available.

A flash of movement caught my eye and I saw Alice surreptitiously slip her hand into her pocket just before a loud ringtone resounded throughout the room.

"Oops, sorry Bella, I've got to take this call." The insincerity dripping from her voice was blatantly obvious. "I'm sure Jasper will be happy to look after you for a minute."

She disappeared before either of us could offer any protest.

Bella shuffled from foot to foot, still not making eye contact. "Um, you don't have to entertain me if you don't want to. I didn't mean to intrude..."

"Bella, stop." I stood up and crossed the room to her. "You're not intruding and you're always welcome here." My feet inadvertently shuffled a bit closer to her and Bella was now having to crane her neck upwards to look at me.

Her head was tilted, her expression almost dreamy and pure contentment was radiating out from her body. I wanted to move even closer, to press my body up against hers, but it was too soon. I took a step backwards.

Her eyes dimmed at the movement and I consoled her by reaching for her hand. I had no explanation to offer her at the moment over my need to keep contact, no matter how little we knew each other, but she didn't seem to mind. Tugging her lightly I led her back to the sofa and we sat down, our entwined hands between us.

Bella was staring at our hands, playing idly with my fingers. I was staring at Bella. She glanced up and saw me watching her, but instead of blushing again like I expected, she smiled slowly, her grin growing in confidence the longer we looked at each other. I felt the corners of my mouth curve upwards in response and all of a sudden we were encased within a bubble of pure happiness – the emotion shooting back and forth between us.

"I really like your family." Bella's voice was thoughtful, the tracing over my hands never stopped. "Especially Alice, she's very...exuberant."

I laughed at her description of Alice.

"Well, then maybe you should come and sit with us at lunch on Monday and get to know us all better."

"Oh." She looked confused. "But won't Rosalie mind? I kind of got the impression that she didn't really like me."

I grasped her chin lightly and tilted her face to mine from where she had suddenly fixed her gaze back upon our hands.

"Rosalie doesn't dislike you. She just doesn't know you. It takes her a while to warm up to anyone new. Besides I want you there and so does Alice and I know that Emmett really wants to get to know you better, so why not?"

"Why not?" she echoed, seemingly transfixed by my face as I talked. Her cheeks coloured slightly as she registered what I had said. "You want me to be there, and have lunch with you?" She was shocked, her heartbeat rocketing.

"Yes, I would." I hesitated. "I like you, Bella, and I'd like to get to know you better."

She stared at me blankly for a moment and then leaned forward. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for her to lightly press her lips to mine before quickly sitting back down again. Her hands were knotted together, her eyes on her feet and her face and neck were stained a rosy hue.

I didn't move. Her fidgeting grew worse.

"Bella?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry." She jerked upwards and stumbled back against the desk. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I never do stuff like this. Please...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just I really like you and I thought that you really liked me too and we were so close and it just seemed like a good idea to..."

"Bella, Bella, Bella."

I halted her ramblings, upset that she was now so distraught. I was so used to things moving at a snail's pace that her kiss had taken me completely off guard.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper."

Practically sprinting over to her, I grasped her elbow and pulled her towards me. Wrapping my arms loosely around her, I felt her rest her forehead against my chest. Gathering myself, I placed a swift kiss against the crown of her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella. I do like you, I really do. I was just surprised, that's all."

She shook her head against me.

"Bella." I raised her face and made sure that she made eye contact before I spoke. "I really like you, Bella." I enunciated every word clearly so there was no misunderstanding my meaning.

Holding her gaze, I leaned in slowly. Bella's eyes flickered from mine to my mouth and she gasped when my lips brushed hers. Taking her bottom lip between mine, I sucked lightly. Her lust was increasing rapidly, fuelling my own, and she began to actively kiss me back. Although a feeling of intense desperation was beginning to infuse our encounter our kisses remained unhurried and languorous and all the more sensual because of it.

Bella seemed content to allow our kissing to remain close-mouthed and even as I revelled in the softness of her lips and the feel of her hands as they slid up my arms, curling around my shoulders, I reminded myself that she was innocent and kept my own touches light. My hands currently rested on her lower back but I was well aware that they would slip down to grab at her ass the second they could.

Bella's breath was beginning to hitch, so I slowed our kisses, gradually bringing them to an end. Releasing her, I rested my forehead against hers, listening as she struggled to take in air. My eyes slowly opened, but hers remained shut. A small smile curved her mouth though.

"So you like me then?" Her tone was playful.

"Yes, I like you very much," I breathed. "Unfortunately I think that I'm still going to have to abandon you to Alice's ministrations, no matter how much I like you."

Bella's eyes shot open and she frowned at me. "What?"

I could already hear my sister's rapid and obscenely loud approach.

"Alice is coming back."

"Oh." She stepped back from me and I hissed lightly in protest. Instead of releasing me fully though, like I expected her to, she grabbed my hand and hung onto it, raising her chin defiantly when Alice barged through the door.

"Sorry about that, you know how these phone calls are, you lose all track of time."

I rolled my eyes.

Alice ignored me. "So, Bella, did Jasper take good care of you?" A moron couldn't have missed the suggestive tone of her question and Bella bit her lip nervously.

"Ummm..."

"Bella's agreed to sit with us all at lunch on Monday," I interjected smoothly.

"Really?" My sister bounced around the room, squealing in delight. Bella and I watched her with raised eyebrows. "This is going to be so much fun and you'll get to meet Rosalie and Emmett properly. I mean I know you met them today, but this time you'll all get the chance to talk to each other."

She darted forward slightly too fast and I frowned at her lack of caution. Hooking her arm through Bella's she began towing her out of the room. My arm outstretched, my hand still clinging to hers as she was dragged away. Unfortunately we couldn't hold on to each other forever and her fingers slipped from mine.

Bella whimpered and I growled quietly. Alice chose to ignore us both.

"And we'll have to go and pick out an outfit for you to wear, you can't possibly wear that hoodie, not that I'm sure it's not comfortable, but really, Bella, you could do better."

Bella was looking more and more terrified and I almost interrupted, but then she spoke up for herself.

"I don't think I have time to...select an outfit for Monday, Alice. Charlie will be expecting me back soon, I should probably go."

Very gracefully done, Bella. She had managed to extract herself from the situation without hurting Alice's feelings.

"Really? You don't have time to come and pick out outfits?" Alice looked crestfallen and her disappointment rang out in her voice.

"I'm sorry, I really should get back soon." Bella had obviously caught Alice's expression as well though and she was beginning to feel guilty. Taking a deep breath, she visibly braced herself for what she said next. "We can pick out outfits another time."

"We can? Oh, Bella, you won't regret it. We should go shopping as well."

Bella nodded and, despite her being my mate and wanting to protect her from things that caused her distress, I couldn't help but snicker at the look of panic that crossed her face.

She glared at me for that and I grinned charmingly back at her.

Taking Bella's arm again, Alice continued chattering about all the plans she had for herself and her new friend as she pulled my mate out of my office. I managed a brief wave to Bella as she disappeared through the door. Not five minutes later she was gone, back to her house with her father.

I desperately and immediately wanted to see her again. My skin was itching, exactly like it had been when Edward had left for Denali. I would have to wait until Monday. I couldn't allow myself to do anything rash which could threaten my burgeoning relationship with Bella or expose my family.

I inhaled deeply. Now that Bella was gone the monster was awakened and I felt my throat burst into flames as her potent scent hit my nose. I didn't understand how this worked. For some reason I was perfectly comfortable in Bella's presence and had no problems in resisting her blood, but the second she was away from me it was like the flood gates opened and I was unbearably thirsty.

I imagined it was a survival technique to stop me destroying my mate, but I hoped that with time I wouldn't have to hunt as much to endure being in Bella's presence.

Alice was coming back up to my study now, her anticipation reaching me before her physical body did. I could only imagine the horror of the interrogation I was about to face. I had no doubt that she would have seen my decision to kiss Bella and I had no doubt that I would be hearing about it for a while to come. So I did the only thing I could in the circumstances:

I ran.

Me and my six foot plus frame hightailed it out of the house away from my little sister whom I could prop my elbow up on. I may have been a ferocious major in the past and a fearsome vampire now, but I was still a man. I feared gossip and girl talk. My window provided my escape and I shot into the forest as fast as I could.

Chancing a glance behind me I saw Alice reflected in the glass, arms crossed, one foot tapping disgruntledly. I was going to be in trouble later.

Sprinting into the trees I was gratified when I immediately picked up the scent of a mountain lion two miles to the north. My pleasure at finding such an appetizing meal was tempered by my guilty realization that this was Edward's favourite meal.

I wanted him back. With everything going so well with Bella, I was given a picture of how it could be between Edward and I in the future. And it would be even better because he and Bella would have the same kind of relationship as well. I allowed myself to daydream for a whole minute before snorting deprecatingly. As if it would ever be that easy. There was far too much being left up to chance and relationships were complicated enough between two people, let alone between three.

Hiding the lion's body I decided to head back to the house. I was practically sloshing with blood, given the amount that I had drunk over the course of the week. If I felt I needed to I could always hunt again before school on Monday morning.

I walked back to the house slowly, trying to work out how this two soulmates thing was going to work out, especially considering that one was human and the other was reluctant to have a relationship with me.

As I emerged from the trees and bounded over the river I was surprised to see a black blur barrelling towards me. Alice skidded to a stop right in front of me; her eyes were exceptionally bright and agitation was pouring off of her.

"Jasper, come see. I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking, I was so caught up in...everything else. I didn't know. And then when I did see it was too late and I tried to call you, but you left your phone in your study and so I knew I had to come and find you before you got back."

"Alice, what are you talking about," I laughed, gently removing her hands from the stranglehold they had taken up on my wrists. "I can't understand you."

Gripping my shirt sleeve to the point where I thought it might tear, she led me round the back of the house almost as if she was leading me to the noose. As we entered the back door I could see that the whole family was back and gathered in the dining room. As we walked into the room Alice took my hand and squeezed tightly.

Emmett and Rosalie were the first to notice us and they both simultaneously stepped back, allowing me a clear path to whatever they were looking at. Carlisle was off to one side, his face grave. Esme was sobbing silently, her arms tightly wrapped around...

"Edward?"


	7. Bad Romance

**Hi everyone. Here's chapter seven of the fic for you all. I hope you like it and don't worry, nothing bad happened to Edward or Bella.**

**Just so you all know, if you're interested, I've got an outtake for Another Heart Calls, in a POV of your choice, available for auction in FGBEclipse, so if you feel like bidding on something, please think of this fic.**

**Thanks to my lovely beta, 1MrsECullen, my pre-reader for this chapter, glitteratiglue, and the girl who kicks my ass to get this fic written, venis_envy. Cheers my lovelies.**

**I own nothing except the plot, so please don't steal that.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Bad Romance**

**JPOV**

He was back.

The thought repeated endlessly in my head

_He was back. He was back. Edward was back._

Edward was back and while I should have been ecstatic at his return, all I felt was overwhelming panic.

Edward was back...and now I would have to explain everything to him.

A part of me wished that I could ignore the past and fall back into our old habits and patterns of behaviour, but I knew we couldn't. Not now.

Now there was Bella, there was our triple mating, there were my lies about his turning and there was the fact that he had kissed me.

I was fucked. Utterly and completely.

Luckily, Esme was currently clinging tightly to Edward and babbling about how she was so happy that he had returned, her tearless sobs reflecting her relieved joy. I prayed she clung to him for just a bit longer; I needed more time to think.

Alice was still clutching my hand, knowing that I would need the support. Rosalie and Emmett were standing to one side, casting nervous glances between Edward and I. I caught Rosalie's eye and she nodded surreptitiously at me; she got it – she understood my concerns. In fact, given the general concern that marred the features of most of my family, they all understood the potential this had to blow up in all of our faces.

I guess my pining over Edward and my affection for Bella weren't as well concealed as I would've hoped.

I struggled to regain my composure as Esme pulled back, cupping Edward's face in her hands.

"Don't you ever run off like that again, you hear me? You nearly broke my heart, Edward."

I clenched my eyes shut at Esme's words. _Broke my heart_. I didn't want to break anyone's, but I didn't know how to deal with this – this hole that I'd dug myself into. How did I even begin to unravel it all?

"I won't, mom." Edward laughed and my eyes shot back open at the sound of his voice. It seemed like forever since I had last heard it and it cemented his presence in front of me better than just seeing him did.

As if in a daze, I watched as Edward turned, almost in slow motion, to face me. The grin on his face grew wider, if that was at all possible, and he took a step forward in my direction. "Jasper," he murmured. He was beautiful in his joy at being home...

...and I flinched.

I don't know why, it was a completely involuntary reaction, but I couldn't help myself. It just felt wrong to me, to hold Edward, to cling to him, when I still had the scent of Bella on my skin...and he still didn't know what was going on.

Edward's face fell and I saw rest of the family fidget slightly at my actions. I attempted to push my swirling emotions down and gave what I'm sure was a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"You wouldn't want to come near me, right now. I'm covered in blood," I attempted to joke. I took a step sideways towards the staircase, shaking off Alice's nails as they dug into my skin. "I should really go shower."

"Yeah," Emmett piped up, obviously trying to break the tension that had fallen over the room. "You stink, Jasper. Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with your food?"

I sidled away, mouthing a quiet 'thank you' to my brother as I left. As I made my way to my room, I heard Emmett continue.

"Now come here, little Eddie, and give me a hug."

I didn't hear Edward's reply. A buzzing in my head had started up, blocking any external noise which might have infiltrated my consciousness. A tiny voice in the back of my head reminded me that I needed to get hold of my stray thoughts. It wasn't that I didn't want Edward to hear them or to understand what I had experienced, more that I wanted a chance to explain first before he read my mind and drew his own conclusions.

Shutting the door behind me, I stripped methodically as I crossed the room for the shower. No matter that I had used it for an excuse - I really did need to get clean.

Washing and drying myself off quickly, I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to find something to wear. Knowing my luck, Alice had already crept into my room and picked out an outfit to confront Edward in. Alice wasn't in my room when I exited the en-suite though.

Edward was.

He hovered uneasily in the doorway for a moment, before moving further into the room, closing the door for privacy. I stood completely still, staring at him warily. He returned my hesitant gaze.

"Jasper," he whispered, running his hands through his hair. "I... I thought I would just... come up to say hello." He swallowed. "I didn't get a chance earlier."

I gulped heavily before letting myself open up to him. His emotions hit me in a rush – hesitance, lust, curiosity, worry, need, desire, hope, anxiety, terror. Was he really feeling all of this towards me at once?

I automatically shifted my weight onto my other foot and his eyes shot down to my chest, his lust and want hitting me full force until he visibly reined himself in. He dragged his gaze back up to mine and I fought the urge to shiver at the look on his face.

"I..." It looked like both of us were going to stutter through this encounter. Well, if honesty was the best policy, then I needed to start now. "I missed you when you were gone. How was Denali and our cousins?"

"They're all good and Denali's fine. Not like Forks though." His feet shuffled, scuffing against the carpet. "I missed you too."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He missed me. Once more today a sensation of pure happiness burned through me, setting my senses alive and making everything seem brighter.

"I'm glad you decided to come back to... here."

Edward moved towards me, watching my reaction carefully; when he saw that I wasn't about to shift away again, his steps became surer and more steady.

"Jasper," he said again. His arm outstretched slowly so that his hand lightly clasped my shoulder.

His skin on mine sent a tingle through me, a sense of rightness, as if we were supposed to touch, to be together. Especially after his long – well, for me anyway – absence.

My control snapped.

I grabbed at him, pulling him into my body, and he came willingly.

"Edward." I buried my face into the crook of his neck, looping an arm around his neck to hold him to me, revelling in the scent and feel of him.

He hugged me tightly in return, his arms linked around my bare waist. I heard him inhale sharply and realised that he was mirroring my behaviour, giving me hope. Surely this meant something. Had he come to any decisions about us while he was away... especially after that kiss?

I clung to him as he shuddered, stroking the nape of his neck gently. He began shaking slightly, before he pulled away just enough to see my face.

"I have," he whispered.

It took a moment for comprehension to hit me. He was answering my thoughts; he had made a decision about us.

Edward watched my face carefully and the moment I worked it out his face split into a wide grin. He was so handsome in that moment. My hands unwittingly buried themselves into his hair and I pulled him towards me for a quick kiss.

Kissing him was just like I remembered, particularly as it still bore that tinge of desperation from before, different this time, but also strangely the same. As soon as my lips met his I pulled back, not wanting to try him too soon, not wanting to push him.

He didn't let me go far.

Dragging me back towards him, his mouth pressed gently, hesitantly, against mine and I responded. At first we kept our kisses light, small pecks, testing each other's response. Gradually though, Edward grew more bold and so did our kiss. We were now sucking and biting at the other's lips in earnest and I took the opportunity to run my tongue along his bottom lip, asking for silent permission to enter his mouth. He froze for a split second and then his tongue came out to meet mine, his movements tentative.

That spark ran through my body again, growing stronger as our tongues began to languorously entwine, a moan coming from each of us. I gripped his hair tighter and felt as his hands clenched, his fingers digging into my skin.

Both of us were panting heavily, habit and desire overriding physical need. I suckled lightly on his tongue before releasing him and resting my forehead against his. My eyes had fluttered shut and I kept them that way.

That was new. Not bad, far from it, but I needed a moment to digest it all.

Kissing Edward was a dream – or rather, a dream come true. It was everything I had hoped for and more. So different from when I'd kissed Bella, much more careful. More needy too, like I had to have him, rather than sweet.

I was drawn out of my musings by the stiffening of Edward's body.

My eyes flickered open as he suddenly jerked away from me, brushing my hands aside.

"Edward?" His emotions were all over the place and I couldn't work out what was going on.

He backed away from me, hurt splashed across his face. "Bella? As in Isabella Swan?"

Fuck! In the aftershocks of our embrace I had let my mind slip.

"Edward..."

"You did mean Isabella Swan, right? Isabella Swan who you..." His voice, which had been rising in anger, abruptly cut off. "You kissed her," he accused.

"Edward." I reached out to him, but this time it was his turn to back away. "I mean I thought I could smell her in the entrance to the house earlier, but I just thought that was the residual smell from school. But she's been in the house and you've... Was that why you pulled away from me earlier?"

"Edward... I...It's complicated." I took a step towards him. "Look, there's stuff you don't know."

He threw out an arm and swept an antique clock off the top of a side table. It shattered on the floor, the face cracking and sending pieces of glass scattering everywhere. I saw red. That had been a gift from Carlisle and Esme and no matter how bad Edward's temper, his childish lack of control enraged me.

I shot forward, pinning him against the wall, one arm pinning his neck back. "Don't you ever do anything like that again. You can be as angry with me as you like, but never destroy what's precious to me." I snarled for good measure before releasing him.

Edward met my gaze angrily. "Does that include Isabella? Is she precious to you, Jasper?"

I couldn't reply; I didn't have a straight answer to give him.

He took my silence as acquiescence. "I thought that I was... for you..." His hands tugged at his hair. The pure pain radiating from him sent me reeling. "But never mind," he shot me a bitter smile, "I guess I was wrong. I'll leave you alone then. I'm sorry I got the wrong impression."

Throwing open the door he rushed out of my room and down the stairs. I followed as quickly as I could, hurrying after him as he stalked past our stunned family and broke into a sprint as soon as he hit the back garden.

"Edward," I yelled after him. A hand reached out to grab my elbow, stopping my path.

"Jasper, don't."

I turned to face Carlisle. "I have to speak to him, Carlisle. I've fucked this up."

I ignored Rosalie's muttered "of course you did," and instead focused on my surrogate father. He gripped my elbow as my legs seemed to give way beneath me. Pain was searing its way through my chest and that persistent itch was making itself known again. Carlisle kept an arm around me, supporting me as he dragged me back up to my room. Alice was already there waiting, fresh clothes in hand, and it took me a moment to notice that I was still dressed in just a towel.

Brilliant. Not only was I destroying my relationship with Edward and having a nervous breakdown in front of my family, I was doing it all half-naked.

I took the clothes my sister gave me numbly and retreated to the bathroom, hurriedly dressing. I emerged to two worried stares.

"I'm fine, really."

They both nodded, unconvinced.

"I need to talk to Edward."

"Jasper," Carlisle began. "Do you not think that maybe you should give Edward some space?"

I looked pleadingly at him. "I need to talk to him, Carlisle. He's got the wrong idea about... everything."

Carlisle glanced towards Alice before relenting. "Would you like us to come with you, to help explain?"

"I think... I think this is something I need to do by myself. He needs to hear it from me rather than from anyone else. Do you mind letting Rosalie, Emmett and Esme know what's going on, all of it."

"Of course." They both nodded.

"Carlisle, can you also please explain about what happened...before. I'm going to tell Edward and I would prefer not to have to repeat the story. I'd also..." I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. "I'd appreciate it if you could both answer any questions Edward may have after I've spoken to him."

"Would you not want to answer them yourself?" Alice asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Is that a guarantee that he'll still be speaking to me after this conversation?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Poor Jasper," she crooned, giving me a hug. "Don't worry about me. I'll be here when you want to talk. When you both want to talk," she amended.

I nodded and then threw myself out of the window, not wanting to run the gauntlet downstairs again. I followed Edward's scent, still strong to me, and tracked him through the forest. I sprinted as fast as I could, knowing that if he wanted to, Edward could outrun me by miles.

I didn't have to go far though, practically tripping over him in the same clearing that he had found Alice and I in just last week. He was propped up against the same tree trunk that I had been, utter dejection pouring from his soul.

"Edward."

"Go away, Jasper." He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, Edward, but I can't. There are things you need to know, that I have to tell you. Earlier on, in my room, you got the wrong end of the stick."

He snorted; it was a strangely graceless sound coming from Edward. "What, are you going to tell me that you didn't kiss Isabella Swan? That she's not precious to you?" His voice was bitter.

"No," I whispered. "I can't do that."

"Well then why are you here talking to me?" he snarled. "Why don't you run off and talk to your precious Isabella."

Walking forward, I sat in front of him, directly in his line of sight. I needed to say this.

"Say what?"

"You know, picking random things out of my mind didn't work so well earlier so why don't you wait for me to say it first and then I'll show you the evidence to back it up?" I chided gently.

Edward huffed. I took it as a good sign.

"What do you remember about when you were changed, Edward?" He frowned as I appeared to change subject, but I thought the very beginning was a good place to start. Starting at the beginning – and not with Bella – would go a long way to explaining the rest of it all, including our female mate.

"Not a lot. Why?"

"Come on, Edward, please. Think harder."

He huffed again before obviously deciding to humour me. "Both myself and my parents caught Spanish Influenza. Carlisle was the doctor who treated us. My father died and my mother was dying, as was I. Before she passed on, she asked Carlisle to save me anyway he knew how. He bit me, the venom took hold and I burned for what seemed like eternity. When I woke up and the pain was gone, I was a vampire." He recited it all in a blank tone, as if he were merely commenting on someone else's life.

"No, Edward." I grabbed my own hair in frustration. "Try to remember what happened before you were changed, while you were in the hospital, do you remember anything? Even if it's just a stupid little thing that doesn't seem significant at all."

Edward concentrated and I could see his lips moving, almost imperceptively, as he fought the haze of human memories that vampirism brought.

"I remember seeing Carlisle. He told me that he was sorry and that he would return shortly, when he did there was only pain."

"Nothing else?" I pressed.

"What do you want me to say, Jasper?" he snapped.

"I'm sorry, Edward, just...nothing else?"

He huffed, but retreated into his long-forgotten memory once more. "I remember being warm. Right before I died there was a jolt of warmth, almost peace, that washed over me," he seemed entranced by his recollection. "I thought I'd seen an angel." Gathering himself out of his dreamy state, he shook his head sharply and laughed bitterly. "But it must have just been Carlisle because then the fire came."

I nodded thoughtfully. He had remembered. This would either make everything a lot easier or a lot worse. "Edward, the first time I met Carlisle wasn't when Alice and I came to live with you all."

"What?" He looked puzzled. "Look, Jasper, what does any of this have to do with you and Isabella Swan?"

"I'm getting there. But you need to know about everything that's happened before so that you can understand what's happening now."

He sighed, but gestured for me to continue.

"The first time I met Carlisle, Edward, was at the hospital where you were dying. He pulled me off you after I bit you." I kept my head down at first, unwilling to see the look on his face, but when he didn't speak for ages, I chanced a glance upwards.

He was staring at me incredulously, as if his advanced mind couldn't compute what I was saying into a rational language that he could understand. His silence made me hurry through the rest of my explanation.

"Bella... Isabella Swan... the way she smelt to you at school last Monday, that burning desire you had to attack her, to bite, to drain her dry just to get at that blood. That feeling you had, that you would do anything just to get to her..."

"How do you know about that?" he whispered, horrified. "Did you feel it?"

"Yes, but not from you. I've experienced it twice in my life. The first time was with you."

"What do you..." Edward scrambled to his feet, still pressed back across the bark of the tree. I stood too, wanting to have this conversation with him on even ground. "I don't understand." He was wringing his hands now and I desperately wanted to go to him, to take him in my arms, but I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, I did the same as I had asked of him, opening my mind and rooting around for the memories that I had kept long buried – then threw them at him.

Starving in Chicago; smelling that delicious blood emerging from the hospital; finding Edward nearly dying; my hesitation; biting him; Carlisle stopping me; our agreement; Carlisle's promise to watch over Edward for me; running away and then regretting it.

Every detail, no matter how minute, was dredged up and put on display for Edward to see.

The truth left him shell-shocked. When he regained his composure he said the last thing I expected.

"You left me! You just bit me, changed me and left me! And you and Carlisle lied to me!" The accusations came one after the other.

"We didn't lie to you, Edward. Carlisle has always said that he was thinking of changing you after your mother died and he was."

"Don't argue semantics with me, Jasper. You may not have lied directly to me, but you did when you didn't tell me everything."

I moved to hug him, but he slipped to one side, evading my hands. A pang of disappointment hit me and I didn't know why. I had hoped for the best, but at the end of the day had expected the worst.

I rubbed my hands over my face and then continued. "I left because I was in no position to stay. You saw my memories, how I was. I was already... struggling then, with what I was. I was in no position to be able to take care of myself and you."

He snarled at me. "So you just dumped me with him, like I was nothing?"

"Edward, that's not true. You know that's not true. I wouldn't have left you if I didn't think you were being taken care of, Edward. I trusted Carlisle to look after you."

"And he did, where you didn't." He didn't sound angry anymore, just resigned. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"By the time I came back with Alice, you were content, happy with the life you'd built with Carlisle and then Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. And the timing was all wrong, you didn't know me, and after you did then it was still wrong. I missed the right time to tell you, Edward. That's all, that's why."

Edward's legs gave out as mine had earlier and he slid back into a sitting position against the tree. He sat there quietly, digesting everything for hours, as I paced around in circles, watching as the sky slowly darkened around us. Several times I tried to say something else – something to justify everything that he had accused me of, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Edward stirred. I spun around to face him at the first sign of movement - waiting anxiously.

When he did speak, it wasn't what I expected. "Tell me about the blood, the scent of it – why does it affect me so badly? Why did it affect you?"

"When I returned, after I had bitten you, I talked to Carlisle. He had been doing some research into why you were so appealing to me."

"And?" Edward interrupted.

I flopped back down in front of him, needing to talk to him eye to eye. "When you find that person whose blood appeals to you more than anyone else's, when the scent is so strong that it calls to you until you can't see straight, that person is said to be _la tua cantante_."

"A singer? What does that mean?"

I sighed tiredly. "In its most basic form it simply means someone whose blood sings to you, calls to you really."

"And in its more complicated form?"

"It's an identification method, to help vampires find their mates, Edward."

I sat there and waited for him to put the pieces together. "So I'm your mate then? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Yes," I answered quietly.

Edward laughed hysterically in response.

"Edward," I tried. "Edward!"

He carried on laughing.

There was nothing for it. Closing my eyes, I focused my empathic talents and called upon every emotion I had ever felt for Edward.

Then threw them at him.

He gasped and recoiled as if he had been shot as everything hit him at once. Ninety years of worry and anxiety and caring and warmth and adoration and happiness and desire and love barrelled towards him.

"Jasper, please." His murmur barely reached my ears, but when it did I immediately reined in my feelings.

Edward slumped over sideways, curling his body up into a ball and lying his head down on the moss covering the ground. His body started shaking and I realised that he was silently and futilely crying.

"Edward." I shuffled over to him and ran my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. So very sorry, Edward."

Tugging him slightly towards me, I was rewarded when he promptly buried his head in my lap, his face and its mask of anguish pressed into my stomach. The rest of his body seemed to curl towards mine and I slung an arm across his shoulders, clinging to him throughout his maelstrom, my fingers stroking carefully through his hair, comforting him I hoped.

I was tearing him into pieces tonight, over and over again, with no idea of just how devastating this would be. I had shown him my feelings and now I had to put them aside to concentrate on his. After all, I had had a long time to come to terms with the reality of our situation; Edward was being hit with it all in one go.

There was one last issue to address.

"Isabella Swan – Bella, she prefers Bella – calls to you because she is your singer. She's your mate, Edward," I hesitated. "She's also my mate too." I summoned up the memory from the beginning of the week, watching Bella walk towards me, the thirst, being dragged out of the school and into the forest by Rosalie.

"What does that mean?" Edward's voice was hoarse, strained with his fluctuating emotions. I hugged him tighter.

"It means we're lucky, Edward. We each have two mates. I have you and Bella, you have me and her and she has the both of us."

"But the scent of her..."

"Doesn't matter. When you're with her, it's like the thirst goes away, because you could never hurt her. I mean, it comes back once she's gone, so I'm having to hunt more and I expect you will too, but not while you're with her."

Edward grunted, so I continued.

"The interesting part is that she feels that pull too. It's not as strong for her obviously, she's only human, but she likes being close to us, it comforts her."

Edward was silent for a minute. "You mean she likes being close to you, Jasper. She doesn't know me." He sat up abruptly, dislodging my arms. "And I don't want her to."

"Edward..."

"No, Jasper." He stood up and backed away from me. "If she's human what good can come of her allying herself with us? There's no point. We could never tell her what we are and even if we did, I'm sure she'd run screaming."

"Edward," I tried again.

"She can't be a part of our world, Jasper. For one, the Volturi would never allow it; they'd kill her for knowing."

I growled quietly at the threat, before trying to reason with him. "Edward, she's our mate."

"No!" he stated resolutely. "She's not my mate, she's yours."

I scrambled to my feet and tried to reach out to him again, only for him to back away from me. He looked so lost; the anguish emitting from him nearly sent me to my knees.

"I don't want two mates, Jasper," he pleaded with me. "I only ever wanted you."

I could practically hear my heart crack at his quiet confession.

"I only ever wanted you as well."

"But now you don't. Now you want Bella Swan too." His smile was bitter. "I'm sorry I waited so long, evidently it was too long."

"It's wasn't too long, Edward. I love you." The words were freeing to say, repressed as they had been for the last ninety years.

Edward stared blankly at me. I tried to work out what he was feeling, but couldn't distinguish between the mix of emotions being thrown at me.

"I should hunt." His words were unexpected and I was momentarily thrown. "We have school tomorrow and despite not being in love with Bella I don't particularly want to make her my first human meal in seventy years."

I peered up at the sky, shocked to realise that we had whiled away a whole night and day – school tomorrow. _Lunch with Bella tomorrow._

I couldn't think like that though; Edward had to be my priority for now.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

The corner of his mouth turned up mockingly. "No. I think we've said enough for now, don't you?" He grimaced. "Besides, if I'm not mistaken, Alice is going to come with me."

No sooner had he finished the sentence than my sister skipped into the clearing. "Are we ready to go, Edward?"

He inclined his head towards the forest before stalking off. I watched him go with a heavy heart.

"Don't worry, Jasper," Alice said gently before running after him. "You just need to have faith."

Faith. Right.

**Just a quick reminder again, if you like this fic, please think about bidding on an outtake for FGB. It all goes to a good cause, fighting childhood cancer. Thanks.**


	8. War Of Nerves

**Here's the next chapter for you all; I'm hoping that I'll be able to get one more posted after this before the end of the month. Thank you all for continuing to read and review.**

**Thanks to my beta, 1MrsECullen, and my WC supporters, tiffanyanne3 and SunKing for their encouragement.**

**Like always, I own nothing except the plot, so please don't steal that.**

**War Of Nerves**

**JPOV**

I was alone.

Edward had left with Alice; he didn't want me with him. He thought I had betrayed him. He didn't want Bella and I for mates; he'd completely rejected the idea.

I'd told him I loved him and...nothing.

I sank to my knees, a strangled cry erupting from my throat.

What was I supposed to do now? Was I supposed to choose between them? Was that even possible?

Originally, I had been sceptical at the prospect of having two mates, but at least I was trying to make it work. Edward wouldn't even consider it.

In my misery, I could only hope that Bella wouldn't take the news as badly as Edward had, but in her case it might be even more difficult – she didn't even know about vampires, let alone about all the side effects of the condition, like mating.

I wasn't sure that I would be able to cope if she turned her back on me as well.

Slumping to one side, I lay curled up in a ball on my side. The itch under my skin, which had left during the hours I had spent explaining everything to Edward, was now back, only this time it was accompanied by a sharp, almost tearing pain in my chest.

My pain threshold was high - it had to be given the life I had previously led in the south - but this hurt – really hurt.

I needed Edward. I needed him to come back. I needed him to make this go away. My emotions were already fraught and on edge; Edward wasn't the only one torn apart by reservations – I had my doubts about this too initially, but I couldn't deny what was right in front of me.

I didn't have that same gift for self-delusion.

But I was torn – I now had two mates, two people depending on me. Why did I always have to be the strong one? I wasn't made of impenetrable stone, no matter what my physical state might suggest.

The pain pulsed through me again and gathering my strength, I staggered to my feet.

Now what?

I couldn't go to Edward, he was with Alice and anyway, he didn't want anything to do with me at the moment.

But I did have another option.

My body subconsciously turned in the direction of town, my feet moving automatically towards the only other person who could sooth my shattered nerves.

As I ran, I noticed that the sky had darkened to night; it was the perfect cover for me.

I emerged from the forest round the back of the Swans' house, I breathed in deeply. Bella's scent was located to one side of the building and when I reached it I was glad to find that she left her window open.

I jumped up onto the windowsill and that delicious smell hit me face on. I knew I should have hunted before I came here, but my mind wasn't exactly thinking rationally. I would just have to rely on the mated bond we shared to rein in my instincts.

Taking one last inhalation of the fresh outside air, I leapt lightly into the room.

Being in Bella's bedroom was overwhelming, almost like being complete immersed in her. It was a heady sensation.

Her room was a curious cross between that of a young woman and that of a little girl; current photos of her parents, school textbooks and her computer battled for space with a couple of stuffed toys, a home-made clay pot that listed to one side and a handful of childish, paint-splattered pictures hung up on the walls.

I was fascinated. This room was the epitome of a human life – the articles of the present sat alongside the relics and memories of the past. My past was something to be forgotten, neglected; it wasn't something that I treasured.

I could only hope that in time I would be invited into this room, that Bella would be gracious enough to share her life with me.

The girl in question was lying in her bed across the room, limbs thrown out everywhere and duvet kicked down around her feet. As I watched she mumbled something incoherent and then rolled over onto her side.

The ache in my chest subsided – it didn't go away completely, but it lessened enough for me to concentrate properly.

Walking forward until I was crouched down next to her bed, I tentatively reached out with one hand and gently stroked her warm cheek with the tips of my fingers.

She sighed and one hand came up and unerringly found mine. I froze; she wasn't supposed to know that I was there, but the contact felt so good that I didn't want to move away. She brought my hand down to her face, so I was cupping it and then let go, snuggling back down into her pillow contently.

"Jasper."

My hand jerked back. I'd woken her up. But wait...

No, I hadn't. Bella was still asleep, her heart rate was steady, but now she had an adorable little frown line marring her face.

Cautiously, I raised my palm to her cheek again, brushing my thumb against her skin. She whispered my name again and it made me smile.

Very carefully, I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She smiled in her sleep and although she couldn't see, I smiled back at her.

My Bella.

I wanted to wake her up; to kiss her and hold her and just embrace the peacefulness that came with being with her.

But I was being selfish. Bella soothed the itch under my skin and made me calm; being with her was easy, perfectly simple. However, me being here with her now wouldn't solve any of the problems with Edward.

I needed to go home. I needed to be there when Edward returned, needed to show him that despite the introduction of Bella to our lives, he was still incredibly important to me and none of this changed my feelings for him.

Kissing Bella's skin again, I pulled back and she whined sadly.

"Sshhh, Bella. I'll see you later. I'll be back before long."

Magically, she quietened at my words and I carefully drew her covers back up over her body, smoothing her hair back off her face one last time before I stood and paced backwards towards the window.

With one last pathetically longing look back towards Bella, I threw myself out of the window and sprinted as fast as I could back to the house.

No-one was in when I got back though – all hunting for the coming week, I presumed. I should have hunted again too, given that later this morning I was going back to the packed school again, all those fresh, blood-filled bodies walking around again, but I wanted to be here for Edward's return. If I got too hungry, I could always cut out off class and hunt in the woodland surrounding the campus to take the edge off.

Strolling up the stairs to my room, I stripped and showered yet again. My clothes were saturated with Bella's scent from where I'd been in her room and I didn't want to antagonize Edward any further.

Dressing quickly, I grabbed a book to read from my office and sat down, waiting.

A click of the kitchen door alerted me that I wasn't alone any longer, but to my dismay it wasn't Edward returning with Alice – the scents and emotions were too different to be them.

The thick, cloying smell of lilies and cotton drifted through the open door, mixed with a more rustic smoked wood and cherry. Rosalie didn't bother to knock before she entered the room, Emmett followed more slowly, sending me an apologetic smile for his wife's behaviour.

My sister stomped into the middle of the floor, standing directly in front of me with her hands on her hips; her husband chose to sink into the desk chair, completely relaxed.

Smug bastard; he could be relaxed, he knew he wasn't the one about to get an earful.

Rosalie tapped her foot impatiently and I looked up at her blankly, not giving her anything to go on. Her frustration mounted until it was practically bursting out of her, but she remained silent, waiting for me to give first.

Shaking his head at her actions, Emmett shook his head. "So, you and Edward and Bella, huh?"

"Emmett!" Rosalie shrieked, spinning to face him. "That isn't the issue here. We all knew about that."

"We did?"

Rosalie huffed at him before turning to me again. "You changed Edward," she accused.

"I did." I didn't say anything else, not wanting to accidentally provoke her.

Rosalie's whole face crumpled at my admission and she no longer looked like a glowering angel, just a hurt girl. "Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you tell us? Do you know how long I've blamed Carlisle for...?" She didn't finish her sentence, but I knew where it was going.

"Carlisle and Alice explained what happened?"

"Yeah," Emmett nodded. "Dude, why didn't you tell us yourself?"

I ducked my head. "Mainly because there never appeared to be the right opportunity. I always wanted to tell Edward first, it didn't seem right for everyone else to know what happened, but not him. When Alice and I caught up with the family again, it was more than just seeing Carlisle and Edward again. You two had joined the family and so had Esme and you all had your places within it and your relationships established. Edward thought that he had been changed by Carlisle and so did everyone else. For me to come in, a stranger, and tell you all..." I shrugged.

"I blamed Carlisle, you know." Rosalie's voice was quiet. "For changing us. I always thought that if he had never changed Edward, then he wouldn't have brought me home and... I blamed him for it all."

I sent out a wave of consolation towards her. "He never thought ill of you for that, Rose. He understood how you felt."

She smiled wryly. "I guess it was you I should have been angry at all along."

"You can be pissed off at me now if you like," I offered.

She frowned at me before huffing. Clacking in her heels across the floor, she flopped down next to me on the sofa. "There's not really much point, is there? If I had wanted to argue with you about it, I should have done it sixty years ago when you came back. It's a bit late now. Besides, Carlisle explained to us about the mating." She grinned at me. "I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I yelled at you for changing your mate when he was dying." Her gaze turned fondly to Emmett, who beamed back at her. "I know what that's like."

"Thank you, Rose." My voice rang out with my sincerity and I pulled her to me for a quick hug. Patting me on the back, we released each other quickly, neither of us being that touchy-feely.

"So I take it that seeing as you're here and Edward's not, that he didn't take all of this as calmly as the rest of us?" Emmett leaned forward.

I ran a hand over my face tiredly. "He's upset with me and Carlisle for the...misunderstanding...over his change. He's also not too happy about the relationship with Bella."

"Yeah, how's that going to work out exactly? I mean, I know you've already got a soft spot for the girl and she seems cool, but what are you and Edward going to do about her? She's human."

Rosalie grabbed my arm, digging her nails into my flesh. "You're not going to change her, are you?" Her eyes were wide and frightened.

"No," I reassured her. "At the moment I have no intention of changing her. She doesn't even know what we are yet and I would never take away her choice."

"But in the future?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I think this is the kind of situation that needs to be taken one step at a time."

Rosalie sat back, disappointed, and I wished that I could promise to her that I would never agree to Bella being changed, but I couldn't. If Bella accepted our mating and chose to become one of us, I wouldn't stop her; in fact, I would actively help her. Bella was human, she would grow older and eventually she would die and even now, at the beginning of our relationship, I already knew that I didn't want that to happen.

I didn't want to bury her.

"Dude, you get to have a threesome, you lucky dog." Emmett lightened the mood in the room and I grinned at him, while his wife sent him a scathing glare. "Shame it's gotta be with another guy really, you should've held out for two chicks."

"Emmett!" Rosalie snapped.

He attempted to look abashed, but I could still see the smile playing around the corner of his mouth.

"Honestly, men! You're all the same."

I held my hands up in protest. "I didn't say anything." I received a scowl for my protests.

"Give it up, Jasper. You're a man; you have to take responsibility for our race's dissolute and incorrigible nature." He paused. "So, according to Alice, we're going to be spending time with the lovely Bella tomorrow at lunchtime."

"Yeah, she's going to eat with us."

"Does this mean we're actually going to have to eat?" Rosalie looked horrified.

I grimaced, the thought not having occurred to me. "I guess so. She's going to think it odd if we don't."

"Great," Rosalie bit out, disgusted. "I hope you appreciate all the trauma we're going to go through for your human pet."

"Come on, Rose, it's just a bit of food." Emmett was positively enthused by the idea. "Bet you I can shovel down more slices of pizza than you, Jasper. Bet you five hundred."

I shook my head at the idea. "Strangely enough, that's a bet I'm happy enough to lose."

"Sucker," he complained. "You're no fun."

"Do I have to be nice to her?" Rosalie asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "I would appreciate it if you were, but if you feel you can't be, I'll settle for polite."

She smirked at me. "No. If she's important to you and going to be around a lot anyway then I can be nice."

"Thank you."

"Besides, if what you said is true, I'm not going to be the one causing problems with Bella tomorrow anyway."

I swallowed back a mouthful of venom heavily. Of course, Rosalie was right.

Edward wasn't going to like that Bella was sitting with us at lunch, or that Alice had switched around her class schedule to be with Bella. I buried my face in my hands; this was going to be a disaster.

The first part of school passed quickly on Monday, but I felt distinctly uneased by the distance between Edward and I.

When he had arrived at the house earlier that morning with Alice, Carlisle and Esme, he had brushed past where I was waiting on the stairs and ran up to his room, not saying a word. The silence had continued throughout the morning and on the car drive to school.

My nerves were completely shattered.

To make matters worse, I couldn't feel Edward at all. He was completely emotionally blank to me, I wasn't getting anything.

Unfortunately, this didn't mean that he could just switch off his feelings so I couldn't experience them; it meant that he wasn't feeling anything at all.

He was completely numb and that worried me.

There wasn't a lot I could do about though, not if he wouldn't let me.

Walking into the cafeteria at lunchtime, I could see him already sitting there, with Rosalie and Emmett. My brother and sister were happily whispering and chatting to each other; Edward was silent with face like thunder. I gathered that he had been told about Bella joining us today.

Walking up to the lunch line, I perused the food selection carefully for once; if I was going to have to eat this food, I actually wanted to pick something that looked vaguely appealing. Grimacing, I quickly picked up a couple of slices of pizza, my heightened eyesight picking up the globs of fat and oil that sat on the surface. At least the slimy texture would help me to swallow it more easily, although I blanched at the thought of actually putting it in my mouth.

Paying the ill-tempered cafeteria worker, I anxiously approached the table and sat down in my usual seat next to Edward. He stiffened; I sighed. This was hopeless.

"So, Jasper, are you looking forward to seeing your girl again? You should see her, Edward; she's a real cutie, blushing and everything."

Edward's jaw clenched shut and I could hear his teeth grinding. _Thank you, Emmett_.

"It will be nice to see her again," I hesitated. "And I believe Edward has already met her before, Emmett."

"_You_ believe," Edward laughed bitterly. He looked at me directly for the first time all day and I could feel that his emotions were just as close to the edge as mine were. "You know full well that I've met her. What her scent does... You know! And you've invited her to sit with us!"

It was only the pure anguish I could sense coming from him that stilled my tongue.

Rosalie, however, had no such compunctions.

"Oh, shut your mouth and stop complaining, Edward. We all know you don't like the situation. We all know that you don't want Bella for your mate. Well, tough shit. Suck it up. You're upsetting everyone with your behaviour at the moment and we're not going to put up with it for much longer. You don't want two mates? Fine. Jasper can have Bella and you can be left alone. You'd probably cause less damage that way."

"You think it's as simple as that?" Edward hissed back.

"Of course not, I'm not an idiot, but at least everyone else is trying. You're just sitting there tearing the man you supposedly love to pieces, just because you can, you selfish fuck."

Edward huffed and turned away from her, but as he did, I saw him shoot me a worried glance before he went back to ignoring us all. Rosalie gave a cluck of frustration, but didn't address him again. Emmett rubbed a soothing hand up and down her arm and I longed for that, that easy companionship, that natural desire to comfort each other.

Edward shot me another concerned fleeting look...and then he froze.

Taking his cue, I inhaled deeply, that luxurious perfume permeating my senses. Bella was here.

I was sat with my back to her, but didn't want to turn around and stare, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. I could hear Alice happily chatting to her about the Spanish class they had just exited and if I concentrated hard enough, the affection and friendship between the two girls was palpable.

Rosalie immediately sat straighter in her seat, a cover of bored disdain falling upon her face, her standard defence when she was in the company of people she didn't know. She'd promise to be nice though and I trusted that she would – especially given the chewing out she had just delivered to Edward. Emmett was grinning happily, already shoving mouthfuls of human food down his throat; I inadvertently sent out a wave of revulsion upon seeing the half-masticated meatloaf he was devouring.

Edward, on the other hand, remained unnaturally still, although I noticed that his eyes kept darting between Bella, the table and me.

"Edward." I nudged him and he glared at me, shuffling closer to Rosalie. Hurt at the movement, but trying not to show it, I leaned forward. "You need to stop sitting like that; you need to behave like a human."

He glared at me. "I _need_ to?"

I could feel my face crumpling in the face of his resistance and cool look. "Please, Edward," I begged.

Opening his mouth as if he was going to say something, he shut it abruptly. Slumping down, he attempted to adopt a more relaxed pose, although I could still see the tension across his shoulders.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I'm not doing it for you, or _her_, I'm doing it so it doesn't blow our cover."

I sat back, stung by the rebuke. I couldn't get upset though, not here in this school, not in front of Bella. If her reactions would be anything like mine, then she would be sensitive to her mates' moods and I didn't want her to see me distressed.

"Hi everyone," Alice's voice rung out over the table and I realised that while I'd been focused on Edward, my sister and Bella had managed to sneak up on me.

Pulling myself together, I turned to smile at the two girls. Alice immediately threw herself into the seat next to Emmett, leaving Bella next to me. She sat down slowly, looking uncertain to be in our presence.

"Hello Bella," I smiled at her, glad to be in her presence once again...especially when she was awake.

She smiled shyly back at me. "Hi Jasper," she whispered.

We sat, watching each other carefully for a moment, before Alice decided to break the silence.

"So, Bella, you've already met Jasper." She winked exaggeratedly at us and giggled. Edward growled quietly next to me and then jumped suddenly as Rosalie kicked him under the table. Alice ignored him. "And as you already know, that's Rosalie and Emmett and I think you have Biology with Edward, don't you."

My sister murmured her greeting, while Emmett boomed out a loud "what's up, Bella?"

Bella laughed nervously and said hello back quietly, but it was her reaction to Edward that interested me the most, and his reaction to her.

"Hey Edward, I hope your trip to see your relatives was good." Bella was naturally shy, but she almost seemed to grow bold when speaking to Edward, her greeting demanding a response from him, rather than just a half-hearted greeting. She was curious about my brother – that emotion was practically screaming itself out at me – but I was also getting a strong sense of determination from her that I wasn't sure I understood. Then I remember what Alice had told me on the first day that I had talked to Bella – Edward had been rude to her in class and she was planning on confronting him only he never showed up for school that day.

Obviously, Bella was going ahead with her earlier plan to try to find out what was going on with Edward now that he was back.

Edward, for his part, looked stunned that Bella was address him directly, and that he couldn't just ignore her, like I knew he had been planning to do. We all waited with baited breath for his answer, myself praying that he wouldn't be rude to Bella or hurt her feelings.

"It was a good trip, thank you. It's always nice to see my family after such a long time."

Bella and Edward held each other's gaze before Emmett diverted Bella's attention, quizzing her on her opinion of the food in school.

Well, that was interesting.

I could've sworn that when Bella and Edward were sizing each other up, I could feel a flicker of attraction between the two of them. Maybe there was hope after all, maybe they would feel the same way about each other that I felt about both of them, maybe...

"Stop thinking like that, Jasper," Edward's murmur was low in my ear; too low for Bella to hear. "I've already told you, she's not my mate and nothing is going to happen. Don't fool yourself."

I didn't want to hear it, not now, and I had my moments where I could be just as stubborn as Edward.

"If you don't like what's in my head, Edward, then don't look. I didn't invite you there."

Turning from him, for the first time ever, I returned my focus to Bella who was busy happily discussing the merit of the school's pizza versus its salad with Emmett and Alice. I caught the eye of Rosalie who shook her head fondly at her husband. Emmett had never eaten pizza before in his life, yet was sat there, doggedly arguing the finer points of the meal.

Which reminded me... Taking one last deep breath, I cut off my sense of smell, wedging half of my lunch into my mouth and chewing and swallowing as fast as possible. It was disgusting. I could feel the oil that I had noticed earlier coating the back of my throat and I almost prayed for a mouthful of venom just to wash the aftertaste away.

A beautiful laugh brought me out of my repulsed musings. Bella was watching me eat, playful giggles erupting from her.

"See, Emmett. There's no way you can say that pizza's the best when Jasper's making that face while eating it." She laughed again and I felt my own face stretching into a smile, her happiness radiating through my body, warming me from the inside.

Emmett pointed at me. "That doesn't prove anything, Bella. Jasper's just taking your side because he's sweet on you. I bet if he wanted to hit on me, he'd be grimacing at the thought of lettuce, you know, just to prove a point."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "You're sweet on me?"

I shook my head exasperated at Emmett before turning to Bella. "Might be," I confirmed coyly. Reaching out, I slung one arm across her shoulders and hugged her to me, both of us sighing in relief at the contact.

Fury was coming from my left but I refused to look in that direction. Edward had made his feelings clear in this matter; there was nothing I could do to make this better for him, so I wasn't even going to bother trying anymore.

It hurt, it really did.

Bella must have noticed too somehow, because although she genuinely relished our embrace she pulled away, squeezing my hand as she moved away. Her concerned eyes were fixed on Edward.

"So, Bella, are you sweet on Jasper too then?" His question was delivered harshly, an ugly sneer across his face.

"Edward!" I warned. Bella cringed next to me.

"It was just a question," he protested, holding his hands up innocently. His emotions were black though, betraying his mild appearance.

"You were being rude."

"So it's alright for Emmett to ask questions like that, but not for me to?" He was defiant.

Bella was becoming distressed, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "Maybe I should go."

"No." My response was immediate. "Stay. We want you here."

"Yeah," Rosalie chimed in, winking at me. "Edward's just jealous that 'cos he's all alone. It's making him bitter and twisted." She shot a triumphant glare at my mate and he flinched in response, glancing at me again.

"I'm sure that's not the case." Bella was a lot more generous towards Edward's behaviour than the rest of us would be, especially when we got out of the earshot of the school. I noticed though that despite her generous words, she was clinging tightly to Alice's hands, her skin stretched out and bright white with the force she was exerting.

Emmett, who had been hissing quietly under his breath, spoke quietly, but forcefully. "You need to apologise, Edward. Now."

We were all glaring at him, condemning him as every second passed by. Trembling in anger at his insensitivity, I reached out for Bella, linking my fingers with hers under the table. Her touch calmed me.

I shook my head at Edward, silently begging him to make this right.

He listened.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he bit out slowly, his anger deflating as quickly as it had made itself know. Agony – and _longing_? - becoming his predominant emotions once more. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, I lost my temper and took it out on you and for that I apologise."

"Why did you?" Bella's voice was small and it was with horror that I realised that she was about to cry. Lightly squeezing her palm, I sent as much comfort as I could muster to her.

Edward open and closed his mouth like a fish, struggling to answer. Finally, he found some resolve. "It's not you I'm angry at, Bella. It's Jasper. We had a... disagreement earlier. I'm sorry it's reflected upon you." Edward was a good liar. If I were Bella, I would have believed him.

Bella looked to me for confirmation and I shrugged, not willing to speak out. I was afraid that if I did I would scream at Edward for being selfish, for not accepting Bella, for not supporting _me_.

He was watching me with a wary look now and in a fit of anger I sent a rush of disappointment at him. Edward shifted forward now, his trembling hands resting on top of the table, almost as if he was trying to move closer to us, but against his will.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly and then bolted upright out of his chair, practically running out of the cafeteria.

We watched him go sadly, although I couldn't stop my automatic jerk upwards to go after him.

"Jasper." Emmett caught my attention and then nodded toward Bella. She sat huddled in her seat, shoulders hunched, tears streaming down her face. Forgetting caution, I pulled her to me for another hug.

She allowed me to soothe her for a moment before she pulled away. I didn't know what else to do. Taking a shaky breath, Bella carefully wiped away the tearstains that marred her cheeks and took a deep swig of her water.

I felt her embarrassment when she realised that the rest of us were looking worriedly at her.

"I'm sorry. I feel like such a baby for crying." She laughed, but we could all hear the hollow tone of the sound.

"Don't worry about it." Emmett tried to make her feel better. "Edward's just being a douche."

Bella laughed again, a bit more genuinely this time. "I don't think he likes me very much."

"Edward doesn't like anyone," Rosalie remarked scathingly. "He doesn't even like half of us most of the time. It's nothing personal."

I decided to intervene. "And as he said, Bella, it's me he's angry with. I had to give him some important news over the weekend when he got back home and I'm afraid he didn't take it very well."

"So, it's not me then?" The tiny sliver of hope I could hear almost broke my heart. Bella was already feeling the pain of having a mate reject her, however unconsciously, and I could see that she desperately wanted Edward to accept her.

"No. It's not you. In fact, I'm sure that by the time you get to class he'll have calmed down and be sorry for his attitude here."

Bella eyed me suspiciously, as if she could tell that I was omitting something in my reassurances. Alice spoke then, diverting her scrutiny.

"Speaking of class, Bella, we should get going or we're going to be late."

"Yeah, sure." Looking distinctly rattled by the experience today at lunch, Bella stood up. "Thanks for letting me sit with you all today. Rosalie, Emmett, it was really nice to get to know you more."

"You too," Emmett said; Rosalie nodded and smirked.

I stood up at the same time. "I'll walk with you."

We headed out of the cafeteria together, Alice walking slightly in front of us to give Bella and I an opportunity to talk.

"So..." we both began at the same time. I laughed nervously and Bella grinned at me.

"I'm really sorry about lunch," I blurted out. "I didn't know Edward was going to act like that and if I had I would've... I don't know, had us sit somewhere else or something. That wasn't pleasant and you shouldn't have been subjected to that."

"Jasper, stop." Bella laid a hand on my arm, steadying me. "It's fine. It's not your fault. The only one who's responsible for Edward's actions is Edward, ok? I don't blame you for anything."

I let out a deep breath in relief. She didn't blame me for putting her through that. She was amazing.

"Well, how about we try again?" Bella could barely keep eye contact with me as she asked and looked down at her feet, face bright red, before I could reply.

"Try having lunch with my family again?" I asked, completely confused by her sudden bashfulness.

"Not necessarily lunch." I could feel her gathering her confidence around her. "Maybe we could try dinner?"

Her mortification was overwhelming and it took me a second to recover from it before I could answer.

"I know. It's a stupid idea. I shouldn't have said anything. Just ignore me." She buried her face in her hands, nearly tripping over her feet.

"Bella, wait." Lightly grabbing her wrists, I pulled her hands away from her face. Alice had already vanished into the lab on our right and I shifted Bella out of the path of all the students scurrying to their next classes.

She bit her lip, peering up at me from behind her hair.

"I'd love to go to dinner with you. Maybe Port Angeles? Tomorrow?"

"Really?" She was positively giddy. "You really want to go to dinner with me?"

I grinned down at her. "How could I say no when you asked so nicely?"

"Oh god." Bella shook her head. "I've never asked anyone out before in my life."

"Well, you did it beautifully," I teased her.

"Why thank you, kind sir," she joked.

Taking her hand gently, I raised it up between us and kissed it. "You're most welcome, my lady."

She giggled and blushed, staring at her hand in wonder when I released it. I smiled at her wide-eyed awe, she seemed completely dazzled by even the smallest signs of affection.

The bell rang then, shattering the bubble that had formed around us.

"You should get to class, Bella."

"You too."

"But dinner tomorrow?" I couldn't help the edge of nervousness that crept into my voice.

"Dinner tomorrow," she confirmed, smiling happily. "I'll see you then then."

"See you then," I echoed as she disappeared into the lab.

I shook my head, as I walked to my physics class. A date with Bella – at least something was going right.

Now to deal with Edward.


	9. Munich

**Here's the next chapter for you all. In the interests of my mental health, it's not quite as angsty as the last chapter. I hope you all like it.**

**Thanks to my beta, 1MrsECullen, and my emo-cheerleader, venis_envy. Thanks a bunch as well to everyone who reads and reviews – one day I will get round to replying to them all.**

**I own nothing. SM owns Twilight. Such is life. **

**Munich**

**JPOV**

I waited anxiously near the car after school. There had been too many classrooms and too much inane chatter from the students between my physics class and Edward and Bella's biology lab for me to listen in and find out what had happened between them.

I was fairly certain that Edward wouldn't have been rude again, he hadn't been brought up to treat women impolitely, but it wasn't his anger I was worried about anymore, it was his indifference.

It cut deep into me when he ignored me, when he walked away without a glance; for Bella to experience that, especially when she wouldn't understand the cause behind her anguish, would be heartbreaking...for all of us.

I could only hope that having Alice in the same class would curb his tongue. But it was only a hope.

Alice and Bella appeared at the entrance to the gym and as they began to walk down the steps, I saw my sister reach out and grab Bella to stop her from falling. My mate blushed and, despite being across the lot from her, my nostrils flared at the scent of her blood. I was able to push the bloodlust down though and for that I was grateful.

As she split off from Alice to head towards her truck, Bella caught me watching her and gave me a small smile and a wave. I raised my hand in response and her grin grew wider. I immediately felt my own mouth curl upwards at the edges and my mood brightened. Alice was practically beaming at me by the time she reached the Volvo.

"You're happy."

"I am." I thought about Edward. "For the most part anyway."

"Ah." Alice nodded in understanding.

"How was it? Was he...nothing happened, did it?"

She shook her head. "He was perfectly polite. They completed a lab together and he apologised and asked after her family, but that was about it. After a while he just clammed up again, like a switch flipped and he remembered who she was to you both."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired.

"Give him time, Jasper."

I glared at her. "You always say that. Don't you think I've given him enough time in the past?"

"Jasper," she warned, "you only told him about Bella yesterday. Look how long it took him to accept his feelings for you; you can't expect him to be any different towards Bella."

"Alice, if he waits ninety years, like he did with me, then Bella will be dead."

"Ok, no she won't, because I know you wouldn't let that happen, and Edward only knew about you for sixty years, not ninety, so Bella will only be a grandma by then."

I scowled at her and she rewarded me with a giggle.

"Come on, Jasper. Stop stressing so much. What will happen, will happen, and it's only early days yet. Give him a chance."

I spied Edward emerging from the main building and winced at the lost look displayed on his face.

"Sooner or later he's going to run out of chances, Alice."

She grinned. "But not yet."

I ruffled her hair and she shrieked at me, immediately whipping a pocket-sized mirror out of her bag to fix it.

"No, not yet."

Edward smiled slightly when he saw me watching him, but the expression soon dropped when he saw my own stony look.

"I didn't think much of his manners today though."

He flinched and I knew he'd heard me as I intended. As much as I felt sorry for him, I wasn't quite ready to forgive him for his actions at lunch today.

In a fit of childishness, I decided to remain silent for the journey home, despite Edward's sidelong glances towards me. I wasn't in the mood to be nice and understanding tonight. No, tonight I was going to embrace the inner teenager that I pretended to be and sulk.

I appreciated that Edward had only found out about our mating with each other and with Bella yesterday, as well as the truth about his turning and...

On reflection it was probably a lot to throw at him all at once, particularly as I knew how stubborn he was. I had heard him once complain that Rosalie was completely incapable with dealing with change in our family, but I knew he was equally as bull-headed and wary.

When we got back home, I immediately headed upstairs, turned the sound system on and blasted classic rock through the room, and probably the whole house. I knew I would gradually degenerate to sad, heartbroken, country music as the night went on, but for now my anger took precedence.

Grabbing a book, I threw myself into reading, ignoring Edward when he quietly knocked on the door to my study and then entered. He stood there watching me, a vague tinge of frustration marring his shamed emotions. I kept my eyes and my mind steadfastly on the book, reading out loud in my head, just to stop him getting an accurate read of what I was thinking. We were at an impasse.

Edward waited.

_...At noon, Baxter showed up with nothing to eat, nothing but a bottle of water..._

He sighed impatiently.

_...He had Baxter on the ropes, time to finish him off..._

Edward coughed to get my attention. It was a pointless gesture; vampires didn't need to cough.

_...They strolled along the river, saying little, watching the boats..._

"Jasper," he finally said.

I looked up at him from over my book, eyebrows raised, polite dismissal on my face. "Did you need something?"

Edward fidgeted, raking his hand through his hair. I choked back a fond smile at the familiar gesture.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about my behaviour at lunch today. I know I was rude."

"Yes, you were." I wasn't about to give him any leeway. "And it's not me you need to apologise to."

The corner of his mouth curled up bitterly. "I already apologised to Bella again, but I think you deserved me to say sorry too."

It was so difficult to remain stoic, particularly when I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let go, to soothe him until his doubts went away and we could be happy.

I managed it. "Good, I'm glad."

"Right." Edward shuffled his feet against the wooden floor, leaving an almost imperceptible sheen against the surface. His nervousness indicated that he was trying to carefully choose the next thing to say. "Do you want to come on a hunt with me? I think I'm going to need to fill up before school tomorrow."

I returned my eyes to the book, struggling to focus on the printed words in front of me now. This thriller wasn't really good enough to hold my attention; I had already predicted what was going to happen.

"You go. I'm not hungry."

I didn't have to see his face to feel his disappointment.

"I'll see you later then?" His voice was unsure, hesitant.

It chilled me. Edward may not have returned my feelings as quickly as I had hoped, may not have understood the attraction, the connection, between us, but he had never been so reticent with me in the past. We had always been close, sure of the affection we shared, and now he was unsure of me - wary even.

I glanced up only to find that he was gone, slipping out as quietly as he had entered. I must have been really out of it to not notice him leaving. Normally I was so attuned to Edward that I was able to pinpoint his distance from me and location without even thinking. Now we seemed to be growing apart.

It hurt my heart. I didn't want that to happen.

The problem was it was so hard to find a middle ground. So difficult to find a path along which everyone could be happy and there was no resentment. I snorted dismissively. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Shaking my head, I tried to put it all out my mind, but it was difficult to tear my thoughts away from the hurt vampire currently stalking through the forest. _My boy_.

Tossing the book aside, as I really wasn't able to concentrate on it right now, I quickly finished the homework I had been set in class that day, scoffing at the questions that children were now asked in the advanced physics class I took. In my opinion, a five year old could have answered this work with ease, but I supposed I shouldn't be too judgmental. It just annoyed me that in my lifetime – well, since I'd joined the Cullens and learnt to control my bloodlust – there seemed to be declining standards of education in the schools we'd attended.

Either that or maybe I just had the material memorized by now. It was difficult to find something challenging when you'd learnt it a hundred times before.

After finishing my work and packing it in my bag for tomorrow, I wandered aimlessly around the house. Carlisle and Esme were out, taking advantage of Carlisle being home from work for once to hunt together, something they both enjoyed, to put it delicately. Alice had left, probably with Edward, and I was determinedly avoiding the area of the house where Rosalie and Emmett were.

I really wasn't in the mood to be unexpectedly bombarded with the remnants of their lust.

Giving up on finding something to occupy me, I trudged back up to my room, kicking off my shoes as I entered and stretching out onto the bed. Lying on my back, I spread out my arms to the sides and closed my eyes. I attempted to empty my mind, trying to find some semblance of peace, trying to pretend that I could sleep as deeply as Bella had the time that I watched her.

Concentrating on breathing in and out, I smelt her entry into my room before I felt her emotions.

"What do you want, Alice?"

Taking my words as permission to come further towards me, I felt the curve of the mattress as she perched on the edge.

"I thought I'd come and see how you were."

Tasting her words on the air, my body tensed automatically as a twinge of deceit hit me. My eyes opened and I bolted upright.

"No, you didn't."

Normally I couldn't stare down Alice; her conviction in her foresight and her generally upbeat nature made her impossible to intimidate. Today though, she wouldn't meet my eyes and that put my guard up.

"Yes, I..."

"Alice," I warned, "don't try to bullshit me. I can tell when you're lying."

She huffed and then rolled her eyes. "Is it wrong to want to see how my favourite brother is doing?" She attempted to look innocent, but the corner of her mouth was curling up ever so slightly on one side.

"Edward's your favourite brother and don't give me that look."

"Jasper..."

"Look Alice, if you're not going to tell me why you're really here then you can just go. I really don't want to play your games tonight."

Her look of amusement had now changed to one of false hurt. I inwardly rolled my eyes. "Can the act as well."

Alice grimaced and then stuck her tongue out at me. She seemed to forget that as well as she knew me, I knew her better, including how she would react to my berating.

"I really did come to see how you were," she pouted.

"Yes, but that's not the only reason you came to see me."

Her lower lip stuck out even further before she relented. "Ok, I'm here to help you."

"Help me?" My eyebrows rose up in surprise.

"Of course. Don't you want to know what you should do next?"

I flopped backwards and closed my eyes again, throwing my arm over my face with a groan. I loved Alice, I really did, but sometimes I just missed the...mystery of life - the feeling of dread and anticipation that came from never knowing what was coming next.

I thought seriously about her question, probably giving more thought to it than I ever had in the past. Before, I had always seen her visions as an advantage, helping the family to avoid any problems and guiding us all on the right paths, but this whole mating business was now throwing that into question.

Alice had said it was best to wait to tell Edward, to give him time to deal with his feelings first, but telling him now, when Bella had already been thrown into the mix, had just led to hurt.

"No."

My reply was decisive and I knew as soon as I made it that it was the right one for me.

"No?" Alice sounded shocked and I realised for the first time ever I had managed to surprise her.

"No," I repeated, liking the sound of the word on my tongue. "I don't want to know what I should do next. I think I'd just like to do it first and then, if it all goes wrong, I can learn from my mistakes and work out what to do next from that."

"But Jasper..."

I held up my hand to halt her protests, removing my arm from across my face and using it to prop my head up. I opened my eyes so she could see just how serious I was.

"No, Alice. I don't want to know what happens next. I don't want to know what I should and shouldn't be doing. I want to make a decision about my relationships and just have it play out, without constantly waiting for something that might not even happen if the other person changes their mind. I just want to be able to love Edward and learn to love Bella without constantly wondering if what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with it is wrong."

Alice blinked at me, something like awe crossing her face.

"I want to just make my own choices about this and see how it goes. I don't think this is the kind of situation where definitive plans can be made."

My sister was quiet for a long moment, her eyes darting around blindly as she thought about it in her own unique way. Finally, she met my gaze steadily.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Of course, it would be nice if you still let me know if anything was going to go horrifically wrong, but apart from that, yes I'm sure."

Alice smiled at me and then leaned forward to place a light kiss on my forehead. "I'm proud of you, Jasper."

My chest swelled at the praise and I grinned at her as she pulled back. "Thank you."

Alice beamed back at me and then gestured towards my face. "You should smile more you know." She raised an eyebrow playfully. "It's infectious."

I laughed and pushed a wave of happiness out at her, smiling when she closed her eyes blissfully for a second as the emotion hit her.

I watched her face carefully as she absorbed the lightness of the emotional rush. I knew that Alice was attractive, all of our family were, but I'd never quite taken in how truly beautiful she could be.

"Alice?"

She opened her eyes slowly and met my curious stare.

"Do you ever...?" I stopped, unsure of what I was trying to ask. "Would you ever want to be in my position?"

She shook her head at me in incomprehension and I carefully considered the words I wanted to use.

"With Edward and Bella. The whole 'finding your Singer' thing. Do you ever get lonely?"

Alice's brow furrowed and she hesitated before answering. "Sometimes. I mean I have you and Edward and the rest of the family, and I already know that Bella and I are going to be great friends." She grinned cheekily at me. "But would I like to have a mate? Yes, I think I would. It would be nice to have that connection and know that I would never have to be alone, not again."

I remained silent, letting Alice get everything in her head sorted out.

"Waking up, like I did, was terrifying. I was so glad when I saw you in my head, because you would be able to help make the loneliness go away. Then I saw the Cullens and everything just seemed to fall into place."

She bit down on her lip, a move that I knew would have to hurt.

"But I wouldn't want to go back to the darkness. Being alone, or the thought of it...I wouldn't wish it upon anyone." She grinned ruefully. "That's probably why I'm so determined that you get it right. I don't want loneliness for you, Jasper, not with everything else you've been through."

Her sincerity touched me and I held out my hands, opening my arms to her. Alice settled next to me, fitting into the crook of my neck.

"You worry too much," I told her.

"I just don't want anything to go wrong," she whimpered.

I thought about it. "How about then, you let me make unbiased decisions about this relationship, but you can warn me if things start going wrong and I'll even let you continue to bug Edward and make him second guess himself."

"As if you could stop me," she mocked, forcing a laugh from me.

I thought about everything she had told me. "Do you ever see him?"

"See who?" She sat back up and looked at me quizzically.

"Your mate."

"Who says it's a man?" she teased. "You might not be the only one to get struck by the same sex love bug."

I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head in amusement. "Ok then, do you ever see your male or female mate?"

Alice smiled again, but this time it was tinged with sadness. "No. I haven't seen him or her yet."

There was something else there though, behind the disappointment. A small, building block of hope still existed within Alice - the beginning of the foundations for her love.

"But you never know, it might be like your case."

"My case?" I couldn't work out what she was referring to.

"Yes. Edward wasn't even born until 1901 and Bella was born seven, nearly eight, generations after you. Sometimes you just have to have faith."

"You keep saying that," I commented wryly.

Alice scowled at me. "That's because it's true. Just because I have to wait doesn't mean that it might never happen. If that _were_ the case, then you would be stuck with me forever and you and Edward would never get along because you're both far too moody all the time. You'd depress each other."

"Hey," I protested.

"Well, it's true." She remained unrepentant, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Alice," I said, "go away."

She grinned and fluttered her fingers at me as she skipped out of the room.

I shook my head again, exasperated by my sister, but even as I did, I recognised that she had left me in a lot less of a morose mood than I had been when she first came to find me.

She had also left me with a lot to think about.

I didn't want to be alone and I didn't want to screw up my relationships with either Edward or Bella. It was all about what I had been thinking earlier – balance.

I couldn't afford to ignore one of my mates in favour of the other. And that meant I had to make things right with Edward. I had to let him know that he wasn't being abandoned, that he was just as important to me as Bella was. I couldn't make him love her and I wasn't even sure that I would want to try, but I should at least assure him that I still loved him.

As if my thoughts had called to him – which maybe they had – I heard him break through the tree line at a run and make his way towards the house.

This time he didn't bother stopping to see me before he headed upstairs, but I called him back as he began to ascend toward the third floor.

"Edward."

He was at the door instantly, a hopeful look on his face, and I was struck suddenly by the need he felt not to disappoint me.

"Come here."

He walked over to the side of the bed, but unlike Alice, didn't make any move to sit on it.

I held out my hand and he took it tentatively. Tugging on it, I tried to pull him onto the bed with me, but he resisted.

"I'm covered in blood."

I had been so focused on looking into his eyes that I hadn't bothered to take in the rest of him. From his mouth downwards, he was drenched in a mixture of bear and mountain lion blood. He shifted uncomfortably, dropping his gaze and I let go off his hand and sat up.

A pang of hurt shot through Edward when I let go of him, but it didn't last long when I stood up and cupped his face in my hands.

"Wait here?" I requested.

He nodded, still looking lost, and I hurried away to the bathroom, fetching a warm, wet cloth, and then returning to my mate.

For the second time this evening, the emotion of pride filled me, only this time it was me who was proud. Edward had obviously gorged himself; he had fed on carnivores, making sure he was fully satisfied and in control... Making sure he wouldn't hurt Bella.

If I could cry then I would have, instead I offered up a silent 'thank you' to whoever was listening.

Edward was shuffling his feet uncomfortably next to the bed.

"Take off your shoes."

He jumped at my command and then rushed to follow my instructions and I tossed the cloth onto the bedside table. Standing so I was directly in front of him, I leaned forward and then paused a hair's breadth away from his lips. I wanted to see if he would move forward.

He did and I sighed with relief as our mouths met gently.

I didn't draw the kiss out, but pulled away after a light press of our lips together. It was enough for me; I had Edward's taste on my mouth now – that gave me strength. Turning my gaze downwards, I reached out and began carefully undoing each button on Edward's stained shirt, concentrating on my task steadfastly.

I could feel Edward's eyes on my face, feel his breath on my cheek, feel his confusion as I silently undressed him.

Finishing with the buttons, I slid the shirt off his shoulders and threw it in the direction of the laundry basket. I paused before I placed my hands at his waistband, digging out his t-shirt and whipping it over his head.

The blood had soaked through his clothes to the skin underneath, a pale red sheen covering his chest. I fought the urge to lick it off him and managed to restrain myself, jerking myself away from him and retrieving the cloth from the table.

My voice was husky when I next spoke. Me, Edward and blood was a fantasy I had held for many years now; to be presented with a reality so close to my dreams was hard to bear. "Lie down."

Edward sat down on the bed and then swung his legs up onto the cover, stretching out as he did. I watched him enraptured for a moment and it was only when his mouth quirked up in a smirk that I realised he was reacting to my thoughts.

"Shut up," I muttered.

Edward's smile faded and his worry hit me again. I ran a soothing hand through his hair in response; I didn't want him to be anxious.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I carefully and concisely began to wipe the blood off his body, paying particularly care to his neck and face. Edward lay very still as I cleaned him, intently watching every movement my hand made.

After I was done, I took the cloth back to the bathroom and then returned to the bed, Edward tracking my path.

Standing before him, I considered the situation and then poked him in the side suddenly, making him jump. It was such a human reaction I couldn't help but smile.

"Move over."

Once Edward was lying in the middle of the bed, I lay down next to him, mimicking the pose Alice had taken with me earlier. I could understand why she did, it was comforting to curl up around someone and have them take some of the weight off your shoulders for a bit.

Edward hesitated and then wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into him, one hand going straight to my hair. One of my arms wrapped around his waist and I let out a sigh of relief at the feel of his body next to mine.

He seemed to relax then, sinking further into the mattress. Apparently being like this soothed both of us.

"It does," he commented softly, answering my thoughts. His voice sounded detached, almost dreamy in that moment.

As we lay together I attempted to form my earlier thoughts into words, needing to have coherent sentences ready before I spoke, recognising that even as I did so, Edward was already probably hearing what I wanted to say. It didn't matter though; he needed to hear the words said out loud.

"I'm sorry," we both said at the same time.

I smiled and felt the rumble of Edward's chest under my head as he laughed.

There was a pause, as we both waited for the other to continue. All of my carefully thought out words flew out of my head and I hugged Edward closer. His arms tightened around me in response and his fingers began to lightly comb through my hair, eliciting a purr from me that I couldn't hide.

"Jasper, I..."

"Edward," I interrupted him. "Can we not do this now?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused once more.

I wanted to just indulge myself for a few hours. "Can we not talk about this now? Can we just lie here like this and talk later? Please," I begged.

I felt Edward sigh underneath me. "We'll talk later?"

"Later this morning," I promised. "I just...I'd like to just be quiet with you for a bit."

There was a smile in Edward's voice as he answered. "We can do that."

Relieved, I pressed my lips to the spot on Edward's chest where his heart would be, even if it no longer beat. His fingers continued to rake through my hair while his other hand rubbed soothingly up and down my back.

I closed my eyes in satisfaction, wanting to savour this moment completely.

And then I felt it...

Tentative at first, the emotion flowing towards me soon grew in intensity. Pure warmth, as hot as the sun, washed over me and my mouth twisted up into a contented smile as the beauty of this feeling pulsed through me.

Love, pure and simple, radiated towards me from Edward.

I kissed his chest again.

"I love you too."


	10. Once

**Here's the latest chapter for you all. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this fic. I appreciate you all sticking with me through the irregular updates.**

**Cheers to my gorgeous beta, 1MrsECullen, and my emo-cheerleader, venis_envy.**

**As always, and against my better judgement, I don't own Twilight. Pity that.**

**Once**

**JPOV**

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be lulled into a stupor by the movement of Edward's hands through my hair and against my back. I felt warm and loved – Edward continuing to project his emotions out towards me – and I wanted the feeling to the last forever.

As the sky began to lighten though, I knew that I had to break the silence that surrounded us. We still had a lot to talk about and a lot to decide.

I couldn't hold back a disgruntled sigh.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked quietly, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. It was so unexpectedly tender that if I could cry, I think I would have. As it was, I merely pressed myself even closer to him than I already was, clinging to him as if he would disappear if I didn't.

"Nothing," I mumbled. "Nothing's wrong. This is perfect."

"But..." he pressed.

I stayed silent for a few minutes, not wanting to burst the bubble we were currently in. "We should talk."

I felt his body immediately tense up, going unnaturally still underneath me, before he determinedly relaxed every muscle again, attempting to remain calm.

"We do." He didn't sound too enthusiastic about it though and I could feel him emotionally withdrawing from me, a hint of wariness becoming apparent.

The silence between us was becoming deafening and I knew that I should probably sit up and give Edward some room for this conversation, but I didn't want to let go of him.

"I'm sorry," I began. "I'm sorry for turning you and then not staying with you. I'm sorry that when I came back I didn't tell you about our mating. I'm sorry that I never had the courage to speak up about it before now. I'm sorry about the way that you finally found out and I'm sorry that I expected you to just be able to deal with it, when I've had over eighty years to accept the situation. I just... I just panicked and then I screwed up."

Edward didn't say anything, but I felt his hands stop moving over me. I waited anxiously for him to tell me what he was thinking. For once I wished that we could temporarily switch gifts so I would know what to say and how to approach this all.

"I really don't think that would help."

"What?" I was confused.

"Reading my mind; it wouldn't help. I can read yours and I'm still not sure what I should say to you. Especially when I still don't know what to think about it all in the first place."

I pressed my lips to his neck in comfort and raised my arm so I could stroke my fingers through his crazy hair.

"Tell me what you're thinking then - anything that comes into your head and we can work out what it means from there."

Edward shuffled further down the bed until we had switched positions and he was the one now cradled in my arms. His words were mumbled into my shirt.

"I don't mind about us. I mean, I'm angry that you didn't tell me before now and I'm upset that you left me with Carlisle. If you just knew how lonely I felt..."

"I know." I rubbed my thumb over the nape of his neck, hoping to quell his rising distress. "I felt it too."

He nodded into my chest. "I'm glad you came back though. I always thought that there could be something between us, especially when I first saw you. There was like this tug in my middle that told me to go to you, but you turned up with Alice and I didn't understand what I was feeling. I was jealous," he confessed.

"Jealous?" This was the first I had heard of this. Edward had been jealous of me and Alice when we first showed up?

"Yes." He had turned his face into my shirt, so I couldn't see his expressions. "You two were so close and I wanted that with you, but at the same time I knew that I shouldn't want that with you. Men weren't supposed to be with men. They just weren't. Yet every time I saw you and Alice talking and hugging, I just wanted to rip her to shreds and burn the pieces. It made me uneasy."

"Really? You wanted to kill Alice?"

"Yes," he admitted. "Once I had even subconsciously made the decision to and she saw it happening. She had to come and talk me out of it, telling me that she really wasn't interested in you in anyway."

I laughed incredulously at that. "And I never knew."

Edward finally looked at me, propping his chin up against my sternum. "I didn't want you to know. I was ashamed of what I was feeling; I thought it was wrong. And by the time that I finally accepted that I...liked you..."

I stifled my disappointment at his use of the word 'like'.

"...I still wasn't completely sure about your feelings towards me." He took a deep breath. "Then after I left, when I kissed you, it was like I knew that you wouldn't turn me away. I couldn't wait to get back to you."

I choked back a reply, knowing that he wasn't finished yet, and that this was the most important part.

He closed his eyes again, so I couldn't see the look in them, but I could still feel the sharp edges of his pain pushing at me.

"I came back and... I had decided that I wanted to be with you. Properly with you. You and me. Only all of a sudden there was Isabella Swan in between us and all these secrets that I'd never known you had. I didn't see any of it coming."

His long eyelashes flickered against his cheekbones.

"You were the person I was closest to in the family, the one I could see myself with for... And I didn't have a clue about any of it. To find out that you and Carlisle had been keeping things from me after all these years..."

He took and deep breath and I resumed the movement of my fingers over his hair.

"I can forgive you for changing me and not telling me about the mating. I understand why you felt the need to keep it quiet... I still think that we would have found our way to each other eventually."

I could almost feel the tension ratchet up before he next spoke.

"I can't forgive Isabella though."

"Edward," I began to protest.

"No." He cut me off. "Please just... Just listen for a minute."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me, studying the expressions that crossed his face as he spoke.

"I understand that you react the same way towards her that you do to me. I understand what it is that you want from both of us. But you just decided what was going to happen and what you were going to do before I got back. You've already created this whole connection with her and when I came back it was like I... like I didn't matter. You didn't need me because you already had her and I was expected to just deal with that."

He opened his eyes abruptly and pushed up off my chest, sitting up and putting some distance between us.

"I don't want Bella Swan. I don't want to be in a relationship with her, I don't want her to be my mate, and I certainly don't want her to take you away from me."

"Edward..."

He looked like he was going to cry. "And I know that I can't ask you not to want her. I can't ask you to leave her alone."

I bolted upright and clasped one hand firmly around the back of his neck, forcing him to hold my gaze.

"I am not going to leave you." I shook him slightly, shocked that he had even thought that I would.

"I'm not going to run off with Bella."

He looked at me pleadingly and I pressed a forceful kiss to his mouth before resting my forehead against his.

"I'm not going to leave you, Edward. But you're right, I can't abandon Bella either."

He shuddered, but I held him in place. I found myself begging with him.

"Please don't make me choose, Edward. I can't do it, please don't make me. I don't want to lose either of you." My panic was quickly rising as I frantically tried to convince Edward of his importance to me. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I really don't. I don't mean to make it harder on you, Edward, but I don't know what the best way, the right way, is to deal with this."

This time it was Edward trying to reassure me, drawing me into a hug and humming lightly, drawing me out of my alarm. I clung to him like a small child, afraid of what was coming next and terrified that I would make the wrong choices and all of us would end up hurt. At least I had Alice's reassurance from earlier that she wouldn't let me do that.

"I'm here," he spoke into my shoulder. "I'm not going away." His hand stroked over my head, calming me down and allowing me to regain control of the wave of panic I had thrown over us both.

I clung to him tighter, feeling the groan of his body as I held onto him just a fraction too tightly. I couldn't have him walk away from me again.

The question now was could I let go of Bella to make sure that it didn't happen?

A sharp, short pain in my chest let me know my answer, even though I knew in my heart that I couldn't do it. Edward had previously been my whole world, but apparently that world had now expanded to include Bella as well.

He tapped me on the arm, getting me to loosen my arms to a comfortable level, and then rested his head in the crook of my neck. I wriggled closer, so I was now half-sat in his lap. I felt his lips move against my skin, but couldn't work out what he'd said - obviously nothing that he wanted me to hear.

The muscles in his arms contracted slightly before I was lifted up and unexpectedly placed upon his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. I raised my head to gaze questioningly at him; this was possible the most intimate we had ever been with each other. We were practically wrapped around each other.

I loved it.

"I love it too," he said softly. "I like being this close to you."

"Me too," I replied, and then brought up the real issue. "But it's not just about being close to you alone, Edward, there's Bella too."

He sighed and closed his eyes, but I felt the tinge of frustration he worked hard to suppress. I considered it a success that he didn't just stand up, dump me on my ass and tell me to forget it. Instead, he seemed to measure what he was going to say silently before opening his mouth.

"I'm not going to ask you to stay away from Bella. I want to, but I'm not going to. It wouldn't be fair."

"Edward..."

He opened his eyes and held up one hand to stop me mid-sentence.

"As long as I can have you, I can live with you spending time with her too." His voice grew harsher. "But I won't be a part of that and I don't want you or anyone else to put pressure on me to accept her as a mate. As far as I'm concerned, you're my only mate."

I looked down at him, my mind speeding along the implications of what he was saying. He tilted his chin up defiantly as if challenging me to argue with him.

I was done with fighting though.

"Ok."

"Ok?" He was confused. "Aren't you going to argue with me?"

"I don't want there to be trouble between us anymore, Edward. So no, I'm not going to argue with you. If..." And this was where the situation became difficult. "If you don't want to be with Bella then that's fine." I was impressed by how reasonable I sounded when I just wanted to have both my mates pressed up against me at this moment.

"Jasper," Edward warned.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." I bowed my head contritely and he brushed his lips gently against the tip of my nose which made me smile. "Are you alright with me still...?" I wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

"I know you're going to take her out tomorrow night." He was frowning. "Alice took great pleasure in telling me earlier on when we were hunting. That's fine." Edward tried to pull off looking nonchalant, but didn't quite manage it. "I'd prefer it if you tried not to think about it when you get back though."

"Edward, I would never try to rub it in your face."

"I know you wouldn't," he reassured me quickly. "But sometimes it's hard to see how you see her in your head. I know you think the same way about me, but sometimes...sometimes it's hard."

I nodded and rubbed my thumb over his jaw. "I know. I'll try."

"Thank you." He raised his mouth up and I couldn't help but kiss it. I let my heightened emotions get the better of me though and instead of the light peck I meant to give, I found myself using my leverage to pin Edward down to the bed as my lips assaulted his.

He began to squirm underneath me and I ground down upon his hips in response. Our tongues met in his mouth and I relished the slight sting that came as I traced the outline of his teeth.

His hands, which had been resting on my back, slowly began to skim downwards towards my hips and...

The door to my room rattled in its hinges as three large bangs thudded against it.

"Are you two fucking yet? Rosie says no, but I've got a bet to win here, and you've been in there _talking_ for a hell of a long time."

We both froze mid-kiss and with a sigh, I collapsed on top of Edward. As much as I loved one brother, sometimes I hated the other.

"Go away, Emmett," I called out tiredly.

Edward's body shook underneath mine, creating interesting sensations, and it took me a second to work out that he was laughing.

"Oh, come on, dude, I'm just asking." My brother's petulance was beginning to seep through the gaps in the door.

"Emmett!"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture. I'm going. We gotta leave in about ten minutes though, so if you are gonna fuck it'll have to be a quickie."

I cast a quick glance toward my dresser where my clock stood and then remembered that Edward had broken it when he came back on Saturday.

His fingers gently stroked my cheek, drawing my attention back to him. "I'm sorry about the gift. I'll make sure it's replaced."

"Thank you." I kissed him one last time and then pushed myself up off his body. "We should get ready for school."

Edward followed me reluctantly and watched me carefully as I ran my hands through my hair. "I need to have a shower and get dressed for school." I glanced over towards him. "You should probably put a shirt on."

Edward looked down, surprised to see his bare chest. It was such a pity that he needed to cover up in public. In private I could think of other things I'd like to see him lose.

He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck. I bet he wished he hadn't looked into my mind at that moment.

"I should probably go clean up."

"Yeah, me too."

He seemed discomfited. "I'll be back in a second."

And he was gone.

Shaking my head, I decided to follow his example, grabbing some clothes and heading for the bathroom. A quick shower later, I was dressed and just needed to grab my homework from the study.

Edward met me as I was leaving the room, already ready. I narrowed my eyes questioningly at his appearance; usually we all met by the car and whoever was there first grabbed shotgun. He held his hand out confidently. I stared at it for a moment too long and his confidence wavered, his arm drooping a little lower. I didn't want to see the disappointment that I could already feel beginning so I grabbed his hand, touched by the gesture.

It was so couple-y. Edward and I, right now, were a couple.

My face stretched wide in a massive grin and I squeezed his hand excitedly.

We walked out to the garage together and when I saw my family I almost wanted to raise up our entwined hands and show them off. My good mood must have been infectious because everyone else was smiling when we reached them, even Rosalie.

They had also very graciously allowed me to sit in the front of the car, which meant that I didn't have to let go of Edward's hand.

I allowed myself a moment of sheer contentment. A layer of snow had covered the town during the night, leading the way down the road in glittering white, I had the man I loved with me, and we were holding hands. I couldn't ever remember being this happy in this existence before. Edward kept throwing me tiny smiles, pleased by my satisfaction with the world and our relationship.

Our sense of joy and closeness disappeared though upon reaching the school where we could quite clearly see Bella hovering by her truck. Her face brightened up when she saw the Volvo and she waved; she had clearly been waiting for us to arrive.

As if they could sense the suddenly tense atmosphere that developed between Edward and I, my siblings quickly exited the vehicle and began making their way towards the school.

Bella, I noticed, wasn't making her way over as I had expected her to, but instead was clinging rather precariously to the back of her truck. A quick scan of the lot showed that the tarmac was covered thinly with a layer of black ice.

Of course. With such a strong chance of injury, it was highly unlikely that Bella would attempt the dangerous journey from her truck to the Volvo. Once we were out of the car, I would have to go over there and offer my assistance in getting her safely to class. I was prepared to carry her if I had to.

"You really care about her, don't you?" I turned my head to find that Edward was watching me watch Bella.

"I do." It was the only answer I was capable of giving.

Edward nodded. "I won't say that I'll like her, but I'll be polite."

For him it was a big concession towards my feelings and I felt the urge to just pounce on him once more. We were in public now though and such displays wouldn't be welcomed by my family, who were trying to remain under the radar. They were accepting of me starting a public relationship with a human in full view of the town, but tackling and dry-humping my 'adopted brother'...

Maybe not.

Edward squeezed my hand lightly, out of sight of everyone in the lot, before getting out of the car and heading towards the trunk to get our bags out. I stayed sat in the car, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I didn't know why my emotions were so all over the place today; I wondered if the additional stress of trying to placate both Edward and Bella was affecting my empathic gift.

My head also wasn't functioning at its normal high levels. As Edward walked in front of the car to meet up with Alice, I suddenly remembered that although I had gotten him to accept that I was going on a date later with Bella, I had yet to plan what we were going to do or where we were going to go. Some mate I was turning out to be.

Shaking my head, I opened the car door and lifted myself out, just in time to stagger backwards under the weight of Alice's horror.

"No!" she wailed.

I spun to see what she was looking at.

Bella had slowly inched her way towards the back of her truck...placing her right in the path of Tyler Crowley's van which was now skidding out of control on the black ice.

A hoarse yell erupted from my chest as I threw myself forward towards her. I didn't care that I was moving too fast for a human, I didn't care that I was about to expose us all in front of the entire school. I only cared about my mate.

I needed to protect her. I had to get over there before she was seriously injured or gone forever. I had to...

I let out a cry of anguish as my path was halted, thick, heavy-set arms locking around my chest and stopping me from reaching Bella in time. I fought against my assailant, my legs kicking, my fingers tearing at the arms that bound me. They didn't let up despite my attack and I eventually gave in and used my teeth, sinking them deeply into flesh almost to the bone.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jasper!"

Emmett released me in shock and I darted forward again, this time to be held back by my sisters. Rosalie was hissing at me to control myself and Alice was half-heartedly helping her, unshed tears already in her eyes.

I was making a spectacle of myself, but I didn't care. I needed to save Bella. I needed to do something. My siblings weren't letting go though.

Time was moving slowly, ever so slowly.

The van was skidding sideways across the lot now, horrified teens running – almost in slow motion it appeared – trying to get out of the way. Bella had now spun around at the noise and I could see the terror cross her face as she realised what was going to happen. Her eyes unerringly found me and I wondered what I looked like to her at that moment. Half-mad?

She squeezed them shut in the next instance, blocking out the inevitable from her sight. Following her cue, I shut mine too and, for the first time in this existence, prayed for a miracle.

A sharp gasp of disbelief from Rosalie made me open them again, hoping that the van had changed its trajectory or something.

It hadn't, but even as I strained against their restraining hands, I saw a copper blur speed across the lot and throw itself in front of Bella, pushing her out of the way just as the van hit the side of her truck with a sickening crunch.

I was fast, but Edward was faster.

The van continued to spin around the side of the truck and I heard Edward curse before the vehicle was suddenly lifted up and then dropped back onto the gravel, the glass in the windows popping out as it fell.

Everything was silent for a minute and then the screams began as the humans finally registered what had just happened.

I tried to listen closely to see if Bella was screaming too, in pain or in fear, but the noise evoked by the students was too loud. There was too much noise, too much confusion, too much panic.

Brushing my sisters' hands away, I stalked across the parking lot, pushing through the crowd of students that had gathered around the site of the accident. Teachers had already begun to push everyone back, clearing the way for the emergency services.

An ambulance was coming. Crowley needed seeing to, I could smell the blood, yet for once I controlled my bloodlust easily. My worry was much more powerful than my hunger. What I really wanted to know was that my mates were alright and that Bella's fragile body hadn't sustained any damage.

The teachers were yelling to whoever was trapped behind the van which had crumpled against the wall like an accordion. I fought to see what was going on.

And then...

"We're fine. I'm here with Bella Swan."

They were safe. They were safe!

I staggered backwards with relief and felt a cool arm slip around my waist, propping me up.

"It's ok, Jasper," Rosalie whispered in my ear. "They're ok. Come on." She steered me away from the scene of the accident just as the emergency services, including a cruiser with Bella's father inside, turned into the school.

We got halfway back towards the Volvo before I thought to protest, snapping out of the shock I had sunk into.

"No. I should..."

"Jasper!" Rosalie spun me round to face her, clasping my face in her hands and digging her nails into my cheeks. "You need to calm down. You're projecting out and it's making things worse."

I looked around and noticed the wild looks that everyone seemed to be sporting, from Mike Newton to the paramedic trying to move the van out of the way. I needed to calm down quickly.

Taking deep breaths, I concentrated on the sting of Rose's nails and, as if she read my mind, she continued to increase the pain she was inflicting on me. A peaceful calm washed over me and I gathered my thoughts.

Bella and Edward were safe. That was what I needed to focus on.

When I felt I had myself under control, I once again found myself steered towards the car.

"You can see them both at the hospital," Alice said quickly, stalling any protests I might have made. "Don't argue with me, Jasper. We'll go to the hospital and let Carlisle know what's going on. Then, and only then, can you see Bella and Edward."

"Alice..."

"Jasper, please. I know you don't want me telling you what to do, but please just listen to me now."

I wanted to argue protest, but instead forced myself to nod.

She hurried me along to the car and practically shoved me into the passenger seat. Rosalie and Emmett elected to stay behind and clear up any suspicious damage caused by Edward.

Just before we drove off, the paramedics, police and teachers managed to make enough space between Crowley's van and Bella's truck at the crash site for the crew to get to my mates. I craned my neck to see what was happening, stalling Alice's hand from turning the car engine on.

Bella was the first out, strapped down on a stretcher, with a brace wrapped around her neck. My mind analysed what I was seeing – a head injury most likely, hopefully nothing had happened to her neck; I knew only too well how fragile the human spine could be. She appeared to be scowling, but I couldn't really tell from a distance. Edward followed her, walking easily behind. Just before he climbed into the passenger seat of the ambulance, he glanced over towards me.

I held his gaze across the lot, trying to convey just how grateful I was that he had helped, that he had saved Bella.

For a moment I thought that he wasn't going to respond, but then he inclined his head towards me and gave me a small smile.

It would all be alright. It had to now be all alright.

It had to be.


	11. This Is How It Goes

**Because I love you all, and because my beta 1MrsECullen is absolutely fabulous and got this back to me two days before Christmas, you get a new chapter of AHC before the end of the year.**

**Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review after nearly a year and far too few chapters of this story. Cheers for sticking with me – my resolution for next year is to actually complete this fic...and catch up with my review replies.**

**Lots of love goes to venis_envy, my official emo-cheerleader for this fic, and to LJ Summers and Phoenix_Rising whose reactions to the prospect of this chapter was absolutely adorable.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, I own nothing. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.**

**This Is How It Goes**

**JPOV**

If vampires could hyperventilate, then I was sure I would be.

I paced back and forth in Carlisle's office, trying to get a grip on my emotions, while he and Alice sat at his desk and watched me cautiously. I was trying very hard not to project out; I didn't want him distracted when he treated Bella in a few minutes time.

"What's taking so long? You don't think they got into an accident on the way here, do you?" My worry got the better of me.

Carlisle stood up and walked over to me, patting me on the back hesitantly. "I'm sure they're fine, Jasper. From what Alice said, they got Bella and Edward out from behind the truck first and then began to work on cutting Mr Crowley out of his van. That takes time." He smiled slightly. "Also I very much doubt that the ambulance crew drive as fast as Alice does."

Summoning all my effort, I managed to smile, something that probably looked more like a grimace than a grin. I nodded shakily. "Of course."

He squeezed my shoulder and then went to sit back down. I resumed my pacing. Alice sighed and then addressed me.

"You do know that when they finally get here you won't be able to see Bella straight away."

I swung round to face her. "What? Alice, I need to..."

"Her father's coming to the hospital with her. He'll think it's odd if a boy who hardly knows his daughter is so concerned about her. You'll have to wait until he leaves the room to go and see her."

"But, Alice..."

"But Alice nothing," she interrupted me. "You can go down there and be worried about Edward, but we are trying to keep a low profile here and barging into Bella's room won't help that."

I snarled at her.

"Jasper," this time it was my father who attempted to reason with me. "Bella will be in good hands. I'll make sure that I look after her, and Edward can let you know what's going on as well. I'll even try to get Chief Swan out of her room to talk so that you can spend some time with her and see for yourself that she's alright."

I nodded. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm just worried."

"Entirely natural when it's your mate in there," Carlisle agreed reasonably.

I finally stood still and closed my eyes, concentrating on my feelings, drawing them in around myself and forcing calm through my body. I dimly registered Alice and Carlisle talking in the background about the accident and whether anyone saw Edward or not.

"Everyone was too focused on the van to see Edward move or Jasper freak out," Alice was saying. "The only person I can think of who might know that something's wrong is Bella."

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Sirens.

Of course, Chief Swan would probably think that a police escort for the ambulance would get his daughter to the hospital quickly. A second later, Carlisle's pager went off and I opened my eyes.

"Right. I'm needed downstairs. You two can come with me, but remember to stick with Edward. He's who you're concerned about. You can enquire about Bella, but she's not your priority here."

I choked my protests and followed him and my sister down the corridors and stairs of the hospital. It was unbearably difficult not to just push past them both and sprint to my mates the second I heard them enter the hospital. I could hear Bella complaining about being wheeled into the building on a stretcher whilst Edward was allowed to walk.

It was chaos in the emergency room. Half the school had shown up with the ambulance and I watched, my thirst rising, as Carlisle ordered everyone who wasn't injured out into the waiting room.

I could see that most of the activity was taking place in a small room off to the side of the main department and this was where Carlisle immediately headed, attracting a small crowd of nurses and doctors around him as he strode across the floor and vanished into the room. I strained to hear what was going on, but was distracted when I noticed Edward hovering awkwardly in one corner of the ward.

He looked as uncomfortable as I felt, shifting from foot to foot and raising one hand to tug nervously at his hair.

"Edward!" Alice called, weaving her way through the crowd towards my mate.

He looked up just as she reached him and gave his arms a quick squeeze. "Are you alright?"

He scowled at her. "Of course I'm alright. You know I'm alright."

"Edward," she hissed, smacking him in the stomach. I could hear her muttering to him about the need to keep up appearances.

He ignored her, staring at me, the torment back across his face. "I tried not to hurt her, but she hit her head when I pushed her out of the way. I'm so sorry, Jasper."

I stopped about a foot from him, hearing his words but not listening to them. "Alice?"

She knew exactly what I needed. "There's an empty room two doors down."

I nodded and immediately headed in that direction. I could feel Edward following behind me silently.

He entered the room, head bowed and feet shuffling, like a naughty schoolboy. Despite this not being the appropriate moment, I couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.

I flung myself at him, my arms latched tightly around his neck, my face buried in his neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was so worried, about both of you, but you saved her, and you're both ok."

I didn't give him a chance to reply. Instead, I cupped his face in my hands and practically assaulted his mouth with my own, pouring all of my worry and love into that gesture. He returned the kiss just as ferociously, but I felt his passion and relief tempered by his own concern.

I pulled away, but didn't release my grip on him. "What's wrong?"

He avoided my gaze and wriggled out of my arms, leaving me feeling bereft. I frowned at him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" This time my voice was sharper, more demanding.

He just shook his head at me. I could feel the panic in my gut rising every second that he stayed silent.

"Edward, please... Just tell me."

A light tremor of his hands turned into full blown shaking, and I stepped back towards him, taking him in my arms and ignoring his feeble protests. He sagged into my body, clinging to me tightly like a scared child.

"She saw me."

I didn't understand. "What?"

"Bella," he mumbled. "She saw me. She knows I wasn't standing next to her in the parking lot. She knows I was only a few feet in front of you and Alice before the van skidded. She wants to know what we are. She knows we're different."

I froze. I couldn't help it, but I did. I realised then that some part of me was still hoping that Bella would have been too traumatised to notice anything out of the ordinary. I had hoped that I would be able to get to know her better, to have her trust me, before I was forced to reveal what we were.

That hope was now dead.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered. "I didn't mean to ruin it for you."

I couldn't help my flinch at that, because I knew that just yesterday he hadn't wanted me anywhere near Bella. It was just a fleeting thought, but Edward picked up on it, stiffening in my embrace. He jerked back from me, betrayal splashed across his face.

I reached out to him. "Edward..." I began.

"No." He cut me off before I could even work out what I wanted to say. "If I'd wanted her out of the picture so badly, I could have just let the van crush her." He snarled at me. "You were expecting her to die in that accident. You were being held back. No-one expected me to save her; I didn't have to."

I felt pain exploding through my chest as he talked about letting her die so casually. He seemed to feel the same, however unconsciously, as he rubbed uncomfortably at his chest.

"Edward, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," he laughed bitterly. "You seem to be sorry a lot lately."

I flinched at the accusation. We were at an impasse; I couldn't stop my thoughts and Edward couldn't accept them. And now we had an additional problem.

Before we could discuss it, however, Carlisle knocked on the door and entered the room.

"Charlie Swan's left Bella alone for a moment while he makes some phone calls. If either of you want to see her, then I'd advise you do it now before he gets back."

I shook myself out of my staring match with Edward. "How is she?"

Carlisle clapped me on the back. "Well, put it this way, she's got a very hard head. There's just a cut on her scalp and no hint of a concussion. She'll be just fine."

I sighed in relief. "Thank God." I looked him in the eyes. "Thank you."

My surrogate father grinned at me. "No problem. I can't say I did much anyway, apart from shine a light in her eyes and tell her father to keep an eye on her."

"Thank you all the same."

"Not at all," he smiled. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got another patient to check up on." He took in Edward's confrontational stance and my defeated one. "It looks like you two need to talk as well."

"No," Edward spoke up abruptly. "I'm going to get Alice to take me home. I need to hunt; all the blood's making me thirsty."

Carlisle frowned, but nodded. "Fair enough."

They both turned to leave the room, but I called Edward back. As unimpressed as he may be with me at that moment, I needed his opinion on what to say.

"What do you want me to tell Bella?"

In response, he scowled at me. "Tell her what you want. After all, she's not my mate. I don't owe her anything."

I was left, standing alone in the room. I needed help – I needed Alice – but I'd spent last night telling her how I wanted to make my own decisions about this relationship. It would be churlish of me to demand to know the future now, just because things were starting to get complicated.

With a heavy heart, I made my way to the room where Bella waited for me. I could smell the blood that she had spilled from out in the corridor, but instead of making me feel hungry, I just felt sad that she had been hurt. There were worse things than her being injured though; she could be dead.

She could be dead, and I wouldn't have been able to save her.

Edward had to save her for me instead. He didn't even like her, but he saved her for me.

"Jasper?" She must have noticed me hovering around the door.

I plastered a fake smile on my face and entered the room, wrinkling my nose as the stench of thick bleach hit me. Bella was fully dressed, but remained reclined on the bed, several pillows behind her back propping her up. Her face broke into a smile when she saw me.

"Hi. How are you feeling?"

She shook her head ruefully. "I'm fine. Seriously, I've had far worse injuries in the past. I mean, you've seen how clumsy I am, right?"

"I have, I remember." The smile disappeared off my face. "I was worried."

A wave of affection hit me as Bella held out her hand to me. I quickly crossed the floor to take it, pressing my lips fervently to her palm. It was a relief to hear her heart beat faster at the action, as at least then I was assured that it was beating. I needed that reassurance, especially after today.

She pressed her other hand lightly against my cheek, and I briefly leaned into it before standing upright again.

"My father said you hit your head?"

"Yeah." A strange look crossed Bella's face before it was wiped blank again. I thought I briefly detected a hint of guilt before it was washed away, so I assumed I must have imagined it. "I just knocked it lightly when Edward pushed me out of the way." She eyed me suspiciously.

I remained silent, not sure what to say, uncertain if I even had an excuse to give her.

She continued. "It's amazing that he managed to get all the way across the parking lot to save me." I could feel her scrutiny as she waited for me to react.

I refused to give up my mate and my family though, despite my desire to explain everything to Bella. That was a conversation for another time and place, not this hospital with her father returning any moment now.

"I thought he was standing next to you?"

Bella sighed heavily in frustration, but didn't correct me. Obviously, she didn't see the point in arguing now either. She stared out of the window, into the trees that bordered the edge of the hospital.

I waited patiently; there was obviously something else on her mind. Her thumb began to stroke over the back of my hand and I leaned against the edge of her bed, comforted by the action. As Bella gathered her thoughts, I took the opportunity to unobtrusively survey her body, detailing any scratches or bruises I could see forming.

I stopped my assessment of her body though, when I felt panic rapidly rising through her emotions.

"I kissed Edward."

She let go of my hand and closed her eyes, a tear making its way through her lashes to run gleaming down her cheek. Her guilt and sadness was overwhelming and I struggled to make sense of what she had just said while trying to calm her down at the same time.

"Excuse me?"

She spoke quickly, as if she wanted to purge herself of her actions. "It was when we were trapped behind the van. Once we were settled and all the screaming started, I just felt... I don't know. I had seen the van coming towards me; I thought I was going to die. And when I opened my eyes, I was safe and Edward had rescued me. I don't know if it was the adrenaline or the relief of being safe but I just...threw myself at him."

She sniffled. "I don't know what I was thinking."

I stared at her, my mouth slightly agape. A faint hint of jealousy struck me, but I immediately pushed it down. Getting upset over Bella and Edward kissing would be incredibly hypocritical, especially considering the fact that I was kissing both of them...and Bella didn't know about that. It explained a lot though, especially Edward's distress and confusion earlier, and his defensiveness. I wonder how my mate had felt about the kiss.

For now though, Bella was waiting for my reaction to her confession.

"You kissed Edward?"

It was a fascinating concept; I longed to see what they'd looked like together, probably absolutely stunning.

Bella's tears were running faster now. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I did it, especially because I like you so much and I was really looking forward to spending more time with you and getting to know you. And now I've ruined it."

Her hands came up to cover her face and her body stilled. It took me a second to realise that she was waiting for me to get angry at her and toss her aside. For a second, I almost wished that I could explain everything to her. Not just the vampire thing, but our mating as well. I wanted to tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that being attracted to Edward was only natural and that if she wanted, she could have both of us without reservation or condemnation.

But she was young; so very young and so very innocent. I'd known her less than a week but I already knew that. I wasn't in a position to explain everything to her without scaring her away completely. And Edward didn't want her...or, at least, he didn't want to want her.

The sudden silence in the room struck me and I grasped Bella's hands, tugging them lightly away from her face and silently encouraging her to breathe. In anticipation of my rejection, she had held her breath; I could feel her rising anxiety and sought to calm her down.

"Bella, sweetheart, look at me."

Her sobs caught in her throat and her entire body shuddered as she opened her eyes. She looked so forlorn, that I couldn't help but lean down, cupping her cheek and resting my forehead against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut once more at my close proximity and her arms wound around my neck, holding me to her.

She was beautiful to me, even with her cheeks bright red, stained with her tears. I brushed my thumbs lightly over her eyes, wiping away the lingering moisture of her sorrow.

"I'm not angry at you, Bella."

"You're not?" she whimpered.

"No. Of course not. It's understandable that after something like that your emotions would be running high. Lots of people do worse things with less reason than you have. I'm not upset with you, or Edward."

"Really?" Her voice was small, but hopeful.

"Of course." I tilted my face upwards so I could press my lips to her skin, reassuring her. "And thank you for telling me. It was very courageous of you to let me know." I kissed her, properly this time, part of me wanting to mark her as mine once more, even if my competition was my own mate. "I'm surprised that Edward didn't tell me, is all."

Bella pulled away from me minutely. "It wasn't his fault."

"Bella..."

"No." She let go of me and I felt disgruntled at the loss of her arms around me. She stared down at the sheets covering the bed, her embarrassment rising. "It really wasn't. I kissed him, it was all me." She blushed and her voice grew quieter. "He didn't even kiss me back. So don't worry about it please."

I wasn't about to let her take all the blame for it though; Edward knew better than Bella what was going on, he would have understood the attraction she felt for him.

I needed to reassure her that I wasn't angry or upset though...with either of them.

"Well, I won't go home and beat him up then, since you asked so nicely," I joked.

I was rewarded with a small, involuntary smile and I grinned at my victory.

"You're really ok with it?" she asked meekly. "I wouldn't want you to say that it was all fine just because of the accident and me being in the hospital now when you don't really feel that way. You don't have to be nice just to spare my feelings"

I shook my head. "Bella, I promise you. I'm not angry...at all. I won't be angry later either. I'm not saying that I'm thrilled about it -," mainly because I hadn't quite worked out what it all meant, "- but I understand why it happened and I'm not going to hold it against you."

"You promise?"

"I promise," I vowed.

"I'm sorry about our date too," Bella murmured suddenly. "I don't think that's going to be happening either."

"We can reschedule," I reassured her. "For tonight you just need to take it easy and concentrate on getting better."

"Yeah," she agreed. I noticed that no matter her protests that she was fine, she was looking increasingly tired. "I've got to phone my mom too. My dad told her I was in hospital again and now she's freaking out." She rolled her eyes, but I could hear the affection she had for her mother as she spoke.

"I'm not surprised." I brushed her hair back from her face. "I freaked out too."

Bella looked at me shyly. "Because of Edward?"

"Because of both of you," I corrected her. "How am I supposed to take you out on a date if you're in traction?"

That made her laugh and her happiness was infectious.

So, rain check then?" she asked.

"Definitely."

"Jasper!" My father's muttered warning outside alerted me to the fact that Chief Swan was probably on his way back and I needed to get out of there. Even as I concentrated on the goings on outside this tiny hospital room, I could hear him begin to make his way across the ER.

I looked down at Bella, her guilt and concern having melted away, so that she was emitting only peace. I wanted to stay with her, but I knew that I couldn't.

"I should probably leave soon, before your father comes back."

She looked towards the door and nodded at me. "I don't feel like having to explain anything else to him today."

Raising a hand, she beckoned me towards her and I obliged, swooping down to place one last, soft kiss against her lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school, Bella."

"Yes." She looked slightly stunned as I pulled away, her fingers coming up to trace her reddened lips. "See you tomorrow."

Fighting my instincts to crawl into that bed with her and protect my mate from any further harm, I walked unevenly towards the door, not wanting to leave her. I didn't like hospitals; my memories of Edward had marked them in my mind as places of death. To leave Bella here alone was difficult. I was comforted by Carlisle's reassurance to Chief Swan that Bella could be discharged immediately though.

Bella called me back unexpectedly before I reached the door however, and I spun to face her.

She tilted her chin upright as she spoke, gathering her confidence around her. "I just wanted to say before you left, that I know Edward lied to me, about standing next to me when the accident happened. I know that what he can do must be the same for the rest of your family as well."

I could only stare at her, horror-struck by what she might reveal and what she thought of us, what she thought of me.

"I'm not going to say anything to anyone," she continued. "And I'm not going to press you for answers, Jasper. But if you can, in the future, I hope you'll be able to trust me with whatever it is." Her face turned bright red, her uncertainty showing through her false confidence.

I didn't want her to doubt herself like that, especially when she was so very perceptive and so very right.

"Bella, when I can tell you, I will. I promise," I vowed, willing her to believe me.

She nodded, relief clear on her face. "Thank you, Jasper."

"See you at lunch?" I couldn't help but ask... just to make sure she still wanted anything to do with me.

"See you at lunch," she confirmed.

I left the room and slipped surreptitiously past my father and Bella's as they talked outside her room. I would have to thank Carlisle later for keeping him occupied while I spoke with Bella.

Making my way back to his office, I waited for Carlisle to return. It was the end of his shift soon and I was hoping to get a ride home. He didn't take too long, and I immediately thanked him for distracting Chief Swan.

"No problem. I trust that you were able to rest at ease after seeing Bella?"

"Yes, I was glad to see that she was hardly hurt at all."

"Humans are remarkably resilient," he mused, picking up his jacket and shrugging it on. I watched as he methodically cleared his desk and switched his computer off. "And lucky, of course, that Edward got her out of the way of that van."

I bristled at the memory of not being able to protect my mate as I wanted to.

"She's not stupid, Carlisle," I warned him. "She knows that he lied about being next to her at the time of the accident. She wants to understand what's going on, what we are."

He didn't seem concerned by this. "And what are you going to tell her?" Picking up his briefcase, he gestured towards the door and I followed him through the hospital, watching as he waved goodbye to the various doctors, nurses and patients as we left.

"I'm not sure." I climbed into the passenger seat of the car. "I'd like to tell her the truth, but not yet. It's too early for that and she's willing to wait for an explanation."

"Yes, I heard. She seems to be very understanding about the situation."

"I guess. I just hope she's still that understanding when I actually tell her what we are and about the mating." My insecurity crept into my voice.

Carlisle glanced at me, before turning his attention back to the road. "I think Bella Swan might be stronger than you think she is. She certainly seems like a sensible girl; I wouldn't underestimate her."

I nodded thoughtfully. "What about you?"

Surprise coloured Carlisle's reaction. "What about me?" he questioned.

"You must have an opinion on what I tell her. It will affect the whole family after all. I'd like to know what you think."

The car slowed and stopped outside the house, but Carlisle remained seated. I waited for his judgement.

"Jasper, I believe that this will all work out between you, Edward and Bella. Part of that means that Bella will need to know about our lifestyle so she can make an informed decision about her future. I think as long as you're sensible about how you tell her then there won't be a problem. All of us are behind you, Jasper. We're not going to condemn you for furthering your relationship with Bella. We can only ask that you exercise caution, for her sake as much as our own."

"I won't compromise our family," I promised.

Carlisle reached out tentatively and patted my shoulder. "That's the most any of us can expect of you, Jasper. And don't worry about not getting it right all the time. That's what being in love is like."

He got out of the car and I mimicked his actions, my head and heart feeling surprisingly lighter than they had in days. I drifted into the house and immediately located the presence of my other mate. He was upstairs of course, probably stewing in his room; hopefully he would have calmed down by now.

"I have, I'm sorry." His voice drifted down the stairs and I sprinted up them, wanting to see him again. This need to be with my mates now, all the time, since I had openly declared my feelings, was almost overwhelming at times.

I could hear him pacing around inside as I knocked on the door to his room. "Edward? Can I come in?"

He had the door open in a flash and beckoned me in, but didn't touch me, which I found odd. I sat down on the black sofa which stretched across the room and looked at him curiously, trying to get a handle on his fluctuating emotions.

He was happy to see me, glad that I hadn't been put off by his earlier behaviour. But he was also uncomfortable, shuffling around his room and avoiding eye contact. That's when I felt it, squashed down so deeply inside his psyche that I wouldn't have found it if I hadn't been looking for it.

Guilt...and embarrassment.

I couldn't stop myself from teasing him.

"So, Edward."

He nearly jumped at the sound of my voice, his eyes wildly swinging around to meet mine.

"Any particular reason why you didn't tell me that you and Bella kissed?"

He gulped.


	12. Fire

**Here's the latest chapter for you all. Sorry it took a while. Thanks to 1MrsECullen who betad this for me.**

**I don't own anything apart from the plot. I hope you like it.**

**Fire**

**JPOV**

Edward was having trouble speaking. It would have amused me if I hadn't been able to feel his distress.

His guilt was rising with every second of silence, along with his feelings of embarrassment and concern. It took me a minute to realise that he was waiting for my dismay and my rejection. He honestly felt abandoned, even though I would never turn him away.

Shaking my head, I held out my arms for him. He nearly ran at me, throwing his arms around my neck and clinging to me – the frightened child was back. In many respects, Edward was no more prepared for this than Bella. I was barely making sense of it all myself.

Hugging him to me, I reclined back on the sofa, tugging him along with me and settling with his full length stretched along mine. I was coming to relish these quiet moments, when it was just us, lying together. If every day ended like this, I would be happy.

His voice, when he finally found it, was small and hesitant. "Did she tell you?"

"She did," I confirmed. "She was very upset about it."

A bolt of humiliation shot through Edward and I rushed to explain further.

"She thought that I would be angry with her about it, and with you."

"Why aren't you?" he asked.

"Don't you think that it would be a little bit hypocritical of me to get upset about you two kissing, when I kiss both of you as well?" I sighed. "I'm just surprised that it was Bella who told me and not you."

Edward raised his head. "I don't get it. Why would you think that?"

I ran my hand over his hair, smoothing it back out of his face only to have it immediately spring back to its normal messy look. I settled for running my thumb over the nape of his neck and he relaxed under my touch, resting his head, back against my chest.

"When I spoke to Bella she was very adamant that she had kissed you and that you hadn't responded or done anything to encourage her. I think she was trying to make sure that I didn't come after you or something."

I could practically hear Edward's brain ticking. "That was nice of her."

"She's a nice person," I agreed.

Edward grunted in response and I couldn't help smiling at his reluctant agreement. "So...?" I prompted.

"So what?" he asked petulantly.

"You kissed Bella," I repeated. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me," he protested. "I didn't want her to."

"Of course not," I agreed amiably, not wanting to pressure him into an outburst. "So is that why you were feeling guilty earlier in the hospital – not just because of the head injury?"

Edward's face snuffled into my neck and he placed a possessive kiss there before answering. "She's your mate; I didn't know what you would think of it."

"I don't mind." I sighed and dropped a kiss on the crown of his head, knowing that he would pull away from me in a minute. "And you know why. It's only natural that you two would be close."

Edward stiffened, but to my surprise didn't immediately withdraw.

"I know, I know. You don't want to hear it; she's not your mate." He wasn't moving away so I decided to push my luck. "But you didn't have to save her and risk exposing us like that – even if it was for me."

"I don't want Bella," he asserted shakily, body trembling, and I rubbed soothingly over his back to calm him.

"I know you don't. But maybe it's not that you don't want her, it's that you don't want to want her."

He did pull away from me then, shooting to his feet and backing away from the sofa where I still lay. I didn't follow him, instead remaining lying down and throwing my arm over my face, hiding my eyes. My earlier resolve to be patient was rapidly leaving me and I briefly considered banging Edward's head against a brick wall... well, either his or my own.

"I think you'd do more damage to the wall than to me." A thread of amusement ran through Edward's voice as he interrupted my violent fantasies. "And I'm sorry that I don't feel the way you do, you know I am."

"Sometimes I wonder..."

His temper snapped. "What do you want from me, Jasper? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I like Bella, because I'm sorry but I really can't do that. I'm trying to be more accepting of her barging into our lives like this, but I hate it. I hate that you're always so concerned about Bella now, because she's fragile and human. I'm trying my best to be understanding here, Hell, I even saved her life for you, but you just don't want to see that part, do you? You can't just be happy that I'm resigned to sharing you with her and leaving it at that. No, you want me to be in love with her too, and then what? We all have a happy threesome? You must be mad."

"I don't..." I began but he interrupted me.

"You say that you're happy for me to take as much time as I need to, that you don't mind that I don't want her, but you don't really mean it. You want us all to be together. Now. You don't want to wait for me to be ready."

I swallowed heavily, wishing that I could refute his argument but knowing that I couldn't. He had read my mind; he had seen what I truly wanted deep down. I still felt he was being unfair though.

"You know that's not what I want. Not really. You know that what someone dreams about, isn't necessarily what they want in reality."

Edward shook his head, but I could tell that he had listened to me. He listened to me, but I could feel the frustration rolling off of him, tainting everything between us.

"I don't want to push you away, Edward. That's the last thing I want." I finally admitted my fears. "And I know it's too much to ask to expect everything to just work out like that." I clicked my fingers for emphasis. "But I need to not be the only one working towards this future."

I chanced a glance over towards him, expecting him to be denying my words again, but instead found him listening curiously, head tilted to one side. I could see his mouth quiver as he muttered to himself too low for me to hear.

He finally seemed to come to some sort of decision though and raised his eyes to meet mine.

"Jasper, sit up."

I frowned but obeyed his command, shifting so that I was leaning upright against the back of the sofa. Edward walked forward and knelt in front of me, wedging his body between my legs and resting his hands on my thighs.

It was a surprisingly bold move for Edward and I immediately felt my body react, my mind bringing forth several interesting scenarios that I couldn't wait to see play out.

An embarrassed cough brought me out of my fantasies and I couldn't help but smile at the part-terrified, part-intrigued expression that Edward was wearing.

He swallowed hard. "I obviously wasn't thinking very clearly when I chose this position."

I couldn't help but tease him a little. "Kissing Bella, prostrating yourself in front of me... My, my, you are getting bold, Edward."

He smirked and raised himself upwards, dropping a kiss onto my lips before swinging around to sit next to me. "I think I'm safer if I sit here." He nudged my shoulder with his. "I wouldn't want to compromise my virtue with you around." He grinned. "I've seen what you're thinking."

Smiling, I lifted my arm and he tucked himself into my side next to me.

"I have a proposition for you," he stated. I hummed in interest. "I will try with Bella. I'm not saying that I'm going to love her or anything, but I'm willing to try for you."

I thought about what he was saying.

"What would that mean exactly?" I asked curiously.

Edward was silent for a second. "It means that I'm going to try to get out of our way. I don't think I'm ever going to love her like you want me to, but I'll try to like her."

This sounded almost too good to be true. There had to be a catch.

"That must have been some kiss to make you change your mind so rapidly from just being polite to actually liking her."

Edward stiffened and embarrassment flooded from him. "I have one request though," he announced stiltedly.

Of course he did. I could tell that his pride wouldn't let him give in so easily. I didn't even know if he would ever have a comfortable relationship with Bella, but I could hope and this would be a good start.

"What's the request?"

"She doesn't come here. It's going to be hard enough having to see you two together, let alone it happening around here."

"So...?"

"So school, her home, ... dates..." he stumbled on the last word. "But please don't bring her back here and parade her in front of me. When you're here, I want... I want you to be mine when we're here. I don't want Bella intruding upon that."

I could tell that he had been thinking about this, and it wasn't an unreasonable request for him to make, given the circumstances we found ourselves in.

"You know she's friends with Alice. She might come back here with her. I can't stop that."

"Damn right you can't." Our sister's voice floated up the stairs.

"I can't ignore her if she visits."

Edward somehow managed to move in even closer towards me, his hand resting against my leg, his fingers idly tapping out piano scales. I waited for his verdict.

"If she comes around, and only if Alice invites her and not you, then..." His fingers momentarily halted their composition on my thigh. "I don't know what then."

I kissed his forehead. "How about we just see how it goes if she comes over?"

"Ok," he mumbled.

We both decided to forgo hunting that evening, both of us permanently stuffed with blood from all the overfeeding we had indulged in to keep Bella safe. Instead, the time was spent catching up on our schoolwork for the rest of the week and sitting together talking quietly. Every now and then Edward would get this mischievous look in his eyes and kiss me passionately or allow his hands to trail over my body, stopping before he got to the good parts though.

His confidence grew every time I responded passionately or let out a moan. His shy experimentation was touching to witness, and I revelled in the way his eyes danced whenever he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

In all the confusion that had surrounded us since meeting Bella, I had forgotten just how innocent Edward was.

Before I had found him in that hospital, there had been others for me. I had vague recollections from my human life of soft skin and warm muscle, but no clear face had ever emerged from the haze. In my time in the South, there had been my makers: Nettie, Lucy and Maria. They had taken sex and turned it into a vicious power play where gentle caresses were coupled with painful bites, and words of love mixed with hisses of dissatisfaction.

They had abused and loved my body in equal measure, but whether I was touched in pleasure or in punishment, I had never experienced any feeling of pure satisfaction from their attentions. I had known that I was merely a plaything for them to bide their time with before I was cast aside once more into the position of loyal soldier.

Edward's touch, however, warmed my soul. Even though his hands remained strictly above my clothing, the care he took with each brush of his hands healed the war wounds deep inside me.

"I'm glad I can help," he whispered.

I leaned down and captured his lips with mine. "You do more than help," I murmured.

He smiled then, a bright genuine smile that lit up his face.

I nuzzled into his neck. "My beautiful boy."

"Jasper," he gasped. "I do love you, you know that, right?"

"I know," I hummed. "And as much as I'd love nothing more than to stay here curled up with you, I'm afraid we're going to have to get up and get ready for school in a minute."

He groaned and banged his forehead against my shoulder.

"Why is it that whenever I get to spend time with you, the outside world always interrupts?"

I smiled wryly. "Maybe if we spent less time arguing with each other then we'd spend more time together here at home."

Edward raised his head and searched my face – and my mind, no doubt – before smiling. "I'd like that." He leaned forward to kiss me once more and then stood up, holding out his hand for me to take, and then pulling me upright and into him. Grinning, I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him towards me, capturing his lips with mine. This was what I loved, just the pure untainted taste of Edward. His tongue licked at my bottom lip and I sucked it into my mouth...

"Boys!"

We broke apart as Alice yelled up the stairs.

Edward nudged me. "You should go and get ready to leave."

"Mmmkay," I agreed, giving him one last kiss before speeding away to my room and quickly changing clothes.

We drove to school much as we had just yesterday – it seemed so long ago.

Yesterday morning, I had been going to take Bella on a date. Yesterday morning, Bella was waving happily at me instead of lying fragile in a hospital bed. Yesterday morning, Edward still disliked Bella.

I wasn't sure that much had changed there, but I hoped that the tiny softening in his feelings towards her would make life easier for all of us.

I didn't even know if she would be in school today, her father may have let her stay at home because of her accident. However, not two seconds after we pulled into the school parking lot, I heard the noisy approach of her truck.

Once again the rest of our family quickly left the vehicle and headed towards the school, leaving Edward and I behind. I made myself keep eye contact with him as the truck parked nearby – wanting him to know that even though I was concerned about Bella, he was still my priority as well.

One side of his mouth curved up in a wry smile. "It's okay. I understand." He glanced towards the other side of the lot. "You should go and check on her."

I squeezed his hand lightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He squeezed back and then let go of me. "You need to make sure she's alright."

I smiled gratefully at him and then got out the car. Quickly retrieving my bag, I crossed the lot to where Bella was standing blushing next to her truck. The flush of pink against her cheeks made venom rise in the back of my throat, but as I got closer, the ache to feed disappeared, to be replaced with other needs.

She was so close. I just needed to touch her, just to feel that she was safe. Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, I felt the small shudder that ran through both of us at the touch. Bella immediately seemed to relax, her shoulders losing their tenseness, and she took a deep breath.

"Hey." Her voice was nervous, timid.

I frowned briefly, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Hey, yourself. I wasn't sure if you'd be in today."

She grimaced. "Yeah, Charlie wanted me to stay at home today, but I really didn't want to be cooped up or treated like an invalid, so here I am."

My fingers unwound from her hair and trailed down her arm, brushing against her own before they seemed to link together of their own accord. Bella stared down at our entwined hands as if she wasn't entirely sure how they had ended up like that. It was hard to deduce what she was thinking, her emotions were so complicated and changing that I wasn't sure what her primary feeling at that time was.

"How are you? Still got a lump on your head?"

She rolled her eyes then, finally looking up at me. "Not so big a lump that I don't remember what happened yesterday with the van."

My smile grew bigger. When she got Edward alone to talk to she was going to be a force to reckon with.

"I wouldn't dream of making you try to forget."

She rolled her eyes again, and the pout on her face was so adorable that I couldn't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss on her mouth. You could almost hear the audible drop in volume in the parking lot as those students still hanging around caught a glimpse of us together. Bella must have noticed the sudden silence as well as the blush returned to her face and she looked around self-consciously. To my delight though, she didn't let go of my hand or step away. Instead, she took a deep breath and raised her chin defiantly.

"Want me to walk you to class?" I offered.

Bella gave me another long look, almost as if she was assessing me. She finally must have come to some decision though as she finally smiled at me. "Lead the way. I'm all yours."

I had to exert some serious willpower to stop myself from just pouncing her in the middle of the school grounds and claiming her right here in front of everyone. She had no clue what those three little words did to me.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice seemed to come from far away and I opened my eyes, not realising that they had unconsciously drifted shut.

She gasped, and I wondered if the look in my eyes was scaring her. I couldn't help it though and I couldn't get myself under control long enough to reassure her.

It turned out she didn't need reassurance though. Once again she surprised me. With her free hand, Bella reached up and cupped my face. "Your eyes are black."

I swallowed heavily and nodded. Of course they were, given the circumstances they had to be.

"It's alright," Bella crooned. "It's all alright, Jasper."

My chest felt like it was fit to burst – there was just so much feeling, more than I had ever experienced before. Edward said that he loved me and I loved him back.

But Bella...

Bella had said that she was mine.

The man was happy to love and be loved. The demon wanted to possess and be possessed.

"Bella..." I choked out, unable to say anything else.

She smiled at me understandingly, although I was certain that she didn't really get what was going on or why I was acting like this.

"Ssshhhh. It's all going to be alright, Jasper." She hesitated. "Walk me to class?" Tugging lightly on my hand, she began to pull me in the direction of the school.

After we had taken five steps, my head finally caught up with my feet and I stopped moving, halting Bella in her tracks. As she spun around to see what had held me up, I pulled her back towards me and practically assaulted her mouth with my own. She responded just as fervently and it wasn't until Emmett wolf-whistled piercingly loudly that we broke apart.

Bella's blush was back, her face bright red as she stared resolutely at her feet. Glaring at my brother, I flipped him off, only for him to laugh and disappear into the school with Rosalie.

Truthfully, though, I was slightly grateful for his interruption. It helped remind me where we were. Several students were now staring at us openly, not even bothering to hide their interest.

"Sorry about that."

Bella nodded, still not looking up.

Wrapping one arm around her, I hugged her to me.

"Come on, let's get you to class." Keeping my arm around Bella's shoulders, I led her into the school and down the corridors, stopping in front of her first class. We paused awkwardly. After our display outside, I wasn't sure if Bella would appreciate any more public displays of affection.

"I'll see you at lunch?" I offered.

Bella bit her bottom lip, finally meeting my eyes. "Sure." My arm dropped from around her and she hesitated before coming to some sort of decision. She rose onto her toes and quickly kissed me before blushing again and disappearing into her classroom.

I remained standing where I was, running my tongue over each of my lips to better savour her taste.

The rest of the morning went by in a haze. School was merely incidental for me now. Every part of my attention was now devoted towards thoughts of my two mates.

I didn't realise that I was projecting until the chair in front was slammed back into my desk, its occupant running for the bathroom. Other students had soppy smiles on their faces and some were squirming in their seats.

Right, I had better rein those thoughts in.

Lunchtime came and I sat at our usual table with Rosalie and Emmett, waiting for the others to show.

Edward was the first to arrive and I smiled warmly at him as he sat down next to me and lightly pressed one hand against my knee out of sight under the table. He returned my smile and shifted his palm away, so we were sitting innocently once more.

"You know, half the school is talking about your little display in front of school with Bella this morning."

"Man, that was hot, dude," Emmett chimed in. "I'm surprised half the school wasn't going at it after that."

I glared at him, but to my surprise, Edward just laughed. "Yeah, he's suddenly gone from scary to being an object of lust in every girl's mind here. You have no idea how many are fantasizing about him right now."

I had been so caught up in my feelings and lust that I hadn't really been paying attention to anyone else's, but as I now looked round the cafeteria and saw several speculative glances being thrown my way, I shuddered.

"I'd much rather you fantasized about me."

Edward bit out a choked laugh at that and across the table I saw Rosalie's eyebrows rise.

"You're in an exceptionally good mood today," she commented.

"Any reason why I shouldn't be?" I teased.

She didn't reply though; her attention was caught by something over my shoulder.

"Maybe because your girl's here and she looks like she's about to hyperventilate."

Emmett was right. As I turned to face Bella, I could see that she had turned even paler than usual. Alice was standing next to her, asking her what was wrong. Her expression was one of dismay and I followed the line of her gaze towards Edward. Reaching out with my gift, I was struck by her acute embarrassment. Eventually she began to move in our direction, but I could see that she was uncomfortable doing so.

Both girls sat down on the other side of me and were greeted by the rest of the family.

"Hi Bella, how are you feeling today?" I would give Rosalie points for effort.

Bella ducked her head. "I'm good, thanks. A bit bruised, but other than that I got pretty lucky."

A silence briefly fell over the table, but Alice quickly began to chatter away, masking the awkwardness. I nudged Bella's shoulder lightly with my own but she kept her head down and refused to look at me. On my other side, I could see that Edward was also beginning to look concerned by Bella's odd behaviour. I tried to think if anything could have happened since this morning to upset her, but couldn't work it out, especially when I had been happily drifting around.

"Hey." I leaned down so my head was near hers, talking quietly and giving the illusion of privacy, even though I knew that my family would be able to hear anything that either of us said. "Is something the matter?"

Bella looked quickly around the table before tucking her hair behind her ear so I could see her face.

"Are you sure no-one is mad at me?" she whispered.

I frowned. "Of course not. Why would anyone be mad with you?"

I could practically feel the heat coming off her cheeks. "Because of what happened with Edward."

Oh.

"I mean, I know you said yesterday that it was nothing to worry about, but I've been feeling really bad about it, and you didn't bring it up this morning, and are you sure there's not going to be any problems? I mean, you two are just sitting here like nothing happened and I don't want either of you to be angry with me."

"Bella, we're not angry, any of us." I needed her to not feel guilty and not be embarrassed. I had never wanted her to feel awkward around us.

"But what must everyone think of me?" Her eyes were beginning to fill up and I immediately directed all the soothing feelings I could towards her.

"They don't think anything, Bella. The only person I've spoken about this with is Edward, and he understands that what happened was all down to circumstances being what they were."

She peeked across my body towards Edward – I could feel him watching the two of us. I could only wonder what she saw when she looked at him.

"Bella," I got her attention once more. "You have nothing to worry about."

She nodded but it was an unconvincing agreement.

I leaned even closer to her, lowering my voice even further. "What's brought this on, Bella? Earlier on everything seemed fine. Has someone said something to you?"

"No. No-one has said anything...well, apart from Jessica about what she saw between us this morning. I just..." She took a deep breath. "I just feel like everything got swept under the rug this morning and we got all caught up in...each other...which is so easy to do for some reason." She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm probably being silly."

"You're not being silly, don't think that. It's understandable that you wouldn't know how I'd react. Just please understand that I don't bear any ill will towards you or Edward. Please don't worry yourself about it."

"Ok," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

I wrapped an arm around her and she buried her face into my neck, her hot breath dancing across my cool skin.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Not for earlier and not for yesterday. Absolutely nothing." I kissed the crown of her head and caught Edward's gaze.

He nodded towards the small girl clinging to me, his brow furrowed. I mouthed to him that Bella was fine and my family continued to practice their studied indifference to anything other than their own conversation. In that moment I was profoundly grateful to them for their discretion, although I knew Emmett and Rosalie would be dying of curiosity.

Bella suddenly jerked upright, slipping out from under my arm. Her breathing was staggered and she looked around wildly, her eyes taking in everything but seeing nothing.

"I should get to class," she muttered agitatedly.

I was reluctant to let her go in this distressed state, despite not knowing the cause behind it. "Bella..."

Her odd behaviour was now impossible to ignore, all of my family were now watching her openly, the concern on their faces mirroring my own.

"I'll see you all later. I'm going to be late if I don't go." Spinning around, she nearly ran out of the cafeteria, leaving us all behind.

The pain in my chest started up again and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward raise his hand and press it against where his heart was. As I turned my head towards him, a clock on the wall opposite came into focus.

There was still thirty minutes to go before classes started again.

Something was very wrong.


	13. The Flood

**Here's the latest chapter for you all. Thanks to the lovely 1MrsECullen who betad this for me.**

**I own nothing except the plot. Thanks for reading, I hope you like it.**

**The Flood**

**JPOV**

I was worried. Really incredibly worried.

Edward was too, although I knew he would never admit it.

I just couldn't work out what was going on with Bella. This morning, and at points during lunch, she had seemed absolutely fine, and after our talk yesterday in the hospital she had been happy.

And now...

Now there was confusion, there was hurt, there was embarrassment, there was anguish, and I didn't know how to make any of it better.

I had been too depressed to go to any of my afternoon classes, I wouldn't have been able to concentrate, and so I ditched and sat alone in the car, trying to resist the urge to just destroy everything around me.

I had ordered Alice and Edward to keep an eye on Bella during Biology and Gym, but as the final bell rang, and they crossed the lot towards me, their miserable expressions and slumped shoulders told me that it wasn't good news.

"Well?" I snapped when they finally got into the car, not bothering to hide my impatience.

"She won't talk to us," Edward replied dully. "I tried during Biology and all she did was mutter that she was very sorry to me. The rest of the time she ignored any attempts I made to talk to her."

I wasn't surprised – Edward and Bella hadn't had much interaction together before – but I was disappointed. I frantically turned to Alice, but she just shook her head.

"She's talking to me, but she's avoiding any mention of you and Edward." My sister frowned. "It's all very unsatisfactory. During gym we talked about school, the coming weekend, even the weather, just not..."

"Us," I finished for her.

"Yeah." She smiled sadly at me.

I nodded shakily, my nerves on edge and Alice leaned forward to place a hand on my shoulder. "It'll all be alright, Jasper?"

"Have you seen it?" I latched onto her words.

She sat back, her hand leaving my shoulder, not answering. I guess I knew then.

My fingers tapped against my thigh impatiently, willing Rosalie and Emmett to hurry up. I wanted to get home. I wanted to get out of the sight of these children and wrap myself around Edward. I wanted him to reassure me that Bella was alright, despite him not being able to give me any guarantees.

Bella left the school before they did though, tripping over the doorframe of the gym and walking unsteadily towards her truck. She had one hand raised to her head, as if she had a headache or something. I leaned forward as she stumbled down the stairs, watching her carefully as she made the precarious descent.

Thankfully, she made it to her truck safely and then paused. As if she could feel my eyes boring into her, she spun around and stared directly at our car. I forced a smile onto my face and waved at her and she cautiously lifted a hand in response, before shaking her head and scrambling into her truck. She had left the parking lot before my brother and sister reached the vehicle.

"So?" Emmett asked as he flung himself into the back next to Alice, Rosalie climbing onto his lap. "What was up with Bella at lunch today?"

I growled at him and I heard Edward hiss as we left for home.

"What?" he persisted cluelessly. "You all saw how weird she got and how she ran off. What did you do?" He paused for a moment and then asked deviously. "Or, more importantly, what did Edward do?"

"I didn't do anything," my mate muttered as the trees sped by.

"That's not what Bella said."

My growl was louder that time. "Drop it, Emmett."

"But..."

"Just leave it, honey," Rosalie insisted, and I was grateful for her discretion. "Can't you feel the tension ramping up in here? I don't want to know what's going to happen if Jasper snaps."

Emmett looked at me properly for the first time since entering the car. "Is it really that bad, dude?"

I sighed and then nodded. "I think so. I don't really know. She won't say what's wrong."

"I'm sorry," he offered.

I nodded again, but didn't answer this time.

When the car stopped outside the house, I was immediately out the door and sprinting round the back of the house and into the forest behind.

I could hear my family calling out as I ran, but I ignored them.

I crashed through the undergrowth, startling two deer nearby. A part of me still realised that I needed to hunt if Bella was to stay safe around me, so I leapt upon them, draining the blood out of them as quickly as I could. Once I had discarded the bodies, I began running again, but this time I was being followed.

"Jasper!"

I stopped and turned, just in time for Edward to throw himself at me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hoisted him up so that he wrapped his legs around me. He buried his face in my neck – in what I was coming to recognise as his favourite spot – and I pushed his back against the nearest tree and breathed in his pure, untainted scent.

His hand stroked my hair soothingly, as he whispered small comforts to me. "Why did you run off?"

I pulled back slightly to look at him. "I needed to hunt. I'll probably need to feed again later."

"Jasper..."

I flinched at the knowing tone in his voice.

"Don't, Edward."

"What about Bella?"

I let my arms drop from around him and took a step back, expecting him to drop down to the ground. Instead, he held onto me even tighter, squeezing his arms and legs around me. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "You won't get away from me that easily."

I narrowed my eyes at him and he smiled charmingly back; it was the same smile that made hundreds of girls swoon in front of him and against my will, I found a small, amused smile forming on my lips. I leaned forward kissed him softly and he grinned at me before finally unwrapping his limbs and standing in front of me.

I mock-frowned. "Don't think you can be getting away with that all the time."

"Don't think I won't try it again in the future," he countered.

I smiled, but my mirth was only short-lived.

"Jasper, what do you think is wrong with Bella?"

My mood immediately soured. "I thought you didn't care about Bella." It was low blow and I regretted it the moment I said it.

Edward scowled at me. "I said I didn't want to love her. I never said I wouldn't care about what happens to her."

"I know," I admitted. "I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"Worried?"

"Yes."

Edward once again stepped forward and embraced me and this time I accepted the comfort he could give. It seemed my mate knew what to do when I did not, as he immediately began to send me as much love and faith as he could. We swayed gently as we cradled one another; the calm I felt from being held and being rocked made me understand why this method was used on babies and small children.

Edward laughed gently into my neck. "Just don't make me bottle feed you your blood, ok?"

We separated, myself rather reluctantly, and continued on into the woods, hunting and feeding together silently. When it was time for us to go back to the house, Edward tugged lightly on my hand to get my attention.

"Jasper, what about Bella?"

I sighed heavily. "I don't know. I can only hope that she was just feeling overwhelmed by everything yesterday and was trying to get some space to think. It's been a rough couple of days for her, what with the accident. She's probably just trying to work it all out."

He looked at me thoughtfully. "So what will you do today?"

I shrugged. In all honesty, without knowing what Bella was upset about, there was little I could do to make it better.

"Just wait for her to come to me," I answered.

When she did come to me though, she wasn't her usual self; and it was the same the next day, and the next, and the next.

Every day I would be waiting when she got to school, anxiously hoping that she would come and speak to me happily. Every day she would give me a weak smile and a brief wave before disappearing into class. Every lunch, she would sit quietly at our table, forcing a smile onto her face every time I attempted to get her attention. She would speak, but only if spoken to. She never reached out to me or instigated any contact between us anymore – something I missed from my shyly brave Bella. She refused all invitations to come over to the house, citing time with her father as an excuse. I could almost taste the lie as she spoke it.

I watched her slowly begin to fade away from us, retreating into herself as time passed by. Her emotions constantly fluctuated between confusion and distress, and no matter how much I tried to soothe her fraught feelings, her awkwardness around us continued.

One day, a couple of weeks after Bella began to withdraw from us, Edward reported that she wouldn't speak to him in the one class they shared, instead quietly screeching at him to leave her alone. He then reported that she had mumbled something about 'what would your brother think' before turning her back to him once more.

The only thing that made me smile about that was Edward's expression as he recounted the attempted conversation. He was trying so hard to pretend he didn't care, but I could feel his true emotions. He was hurt by her rejection.

"I think..." He had begun tentatively. "I think that I might like her. Not like you do, and definitely not like I feel about you, but she's..."

"She's...?" I had prompted.

"She's interesting," he finally decided.

I had to hide my smile behind my hand.

It had all become irrelevant anyway, with Bella acting as she was. With how uncomfortable she was acting, not just around Edward, but with Alice and I as well, then I couldn't see her wanting to progress our relationship any further. I could feel her slipping away from me and I didn't know what happened to make it this way or how to stop it.

I wanted her back with me again. I wanted her to look at me and smile, instead of frown whenever she saw either Edward or I. I wanted her to gaze up at me nervously before biting her lip and blushing at my attention, instead of staring up at me with barely concealed panic, as if I would suddenly demand things of her that she was unable to give. I wanted her to take my hand, instead of flinching every time I tried to take hers.

My temper was beginning to get worse the longer this went on and all the family had noticed. Carlisle came to speak to me one day.

"You know that yesterday, Esme threw our wardrobe at me in a fit of rage?" He inquired mildly. "I only mention it because it happened at the same time that you destroyed most of your own study."

I looked around the room we were standing it. I had been in here for the whole weekend now and eventually staring at all the books and remembering how Bella had kissed me so sweetly over by the sofa had made me snap. The shelves were ripped off the walls, books scattered everywhere, my desk was now in three pieces and the far wall had a splatter of black across it where I had thrown a glass inkwell.

Carlisle continued to speak. "Although I must say that we are both thankful that you left the windows alone."

I looked over blankly towards where he indicated.

"It's only been a couple of months since the last time we had to call a glazer out. They might wonder what we're up to out here."

Swallowing my frustration, I bit out the expected apology. "I'm sorry. I'll clean all of this later."

My surrogate father smiled and clapped me on the shoulder, then frowned when I instinctively flinched from the touch. He was too polite to mention it though. "I think Alice has already ordered in replacements for everything anyway; we've had furniture deliveries coming in at all hours."

I nodded.

Carlisle hesitated. "Is everything all right, Jasper?"

"You heard about Bella?"

"Edward confided in me that she appears to be growing increasingly uncomfortable around both of you."

I laughed bitterly. "That's one way of putting it. She not ignoring us, she's just not engaging at all...she won't even meet my eyes half the time."

Carlisle perched on the edge of the one remaining intact sideboard. "He also said that before this, things were going well between the two of you."

"They were," I confirmed. "I don't know what happened to make them not be well."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, and seemed to be considering his next words carefully. "I'm not going to tell you that everything will be alright, because I think you know that no-one can give you that guarantee, not even Alice."

I snorted at that. "Don't let her hear you say that."

He smiled, before quietly continuing. "All I can say is from what I've heard, things between you and Bella got very intense, very quickly."

"You could say that," I mumbled.

"Then the best thing you can do is give her time. Don't forget that you're her mates in addition to her being yours. That means that she'll feel just as strongly towards both of you as you do towards her, but she won't understand what's behind it."

I looked away but couldn't ignore his point.

Carlisle pushed off the side and stepped closer to me, but this time didn't make any move to touch me. "Give her time, Jasper. Time to think and work out what she wants and what she's feeling. She doesn't have the liberty of knowing everything like you did, or having someone explain it to her like Edward did. Until you decide when to tell her, she's got to deal with everything by herself."

"Do you think I should tell her? What we are? About the mating?"

Carlisle sighed. "It'll have to come out at some point, Jasper. Although when you tell her is up to you and Edward. I think you'll know when the time has come, but if you think that she needs to know now, then I'll support that decision."

He headed for the door but then paused and turned. "I have faith that it will all turn out fine, Jasper."

The corners of my mouth turned up. "If you say so, then it must be true."

Carlisle laughed as he left.

Not five seconds later, Edward appeared at my door.

"Jasper?"

Edward and Alice were the only ones to brave my black mood the last few weeks, Edward because we needed each other and Alice because she refused to take no for an answer. Even they hadn't stuck around for my furious rampage in my study though.

"Hmm?" I held my arms out to him and he immediately came to me. Lately, Edward was the only one who could calm me down.

"We're going to go hunting together – me, Esme and Carlisle. Do you want to come with us?"

"Where are the others?

"They went up to Canada for the weekend. Alice foresaw bears in Emmett's future and you know he can never resist a grizzly."

"I think I might stay here."

He cupped my face in his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I think I should probably clean up in here." I smiled at him and he kissed me gently, before letting me go.

"Ok. We'll be heading south though if you feel like joining us later."

"I'll come find you if I change my mind," I promised.

With one last kiss, he wandered off, and a few minutes later I heard them all leave.

I was alone. Although judging by the sheer amount of destruction I had caused, that was probably for the best. Moving slowly, I began to slowly sort out what I had smashed up and what could be kept. My sofa had survived, as had all my books, but my desk, chair and most of my bookshelves would need replacing. Piling up everything I wanted to keep, I began to move the debris down the garage.

I was so focused on my task as I worked, that it was several seconds before I worked out the source of the noise I could hear that was steadily growing. The growling of a noisy throttle was heading along the main road in this direction, slowing down before turning onto our drive.

_Bella?_

I raised my head and sniffed the air, her scent drifted along ahead of her, making me shudder.

She was coming here.

I left the garage, sprinting outside to wait in front of the porch for her. Was she really coming to me?

If she was it looked like the God that Carlisle believed in really did exist.

I felt her shock as her truck rounded the last bend and she saw me waiting outside for her. I saw the deep intake of breath she took as she stopped the vehicle and pushed the door to the cab open.

She hesitated as she walked towards me, her head bowed, the hood of her sweater pulled over her hair, her hands buried in her pockets. I did not care about her reluctance though, I was just breathing in the sight of her, enjoying the feeling of having her so close to me after all these weeks.

"Bella."

"Hey." She shuffled from foot to foot awkwardly. "How are you?"

"I'm good."

She was still keeping her head down and I gently pushed her hood back so I could see her face. She was biting her lip furiously and I could already see several small cuts where she had torn the skin recently.

Moving slowly, so she wouldn't be startle, I ran my thumb over her bottom lip, releasing it from the abuse it was being subjected to. "You'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that?"

She pulled away from me and I had to work to keep the scowl off my face. I stood there, waiting for her to speak, but she just continued to fidget.

"Do you want to go inside?" I invited.

"Yeah, sure," she muttered distractedly.

I waved for her to precede me into the house, and was surprised when instead of turning into the living room, she headed up the stairs. I followed her curiously, but rushed in front to stop her before she got towards my study.

"You can't go in there."

She tilted her head, a frown on her face.

"My mother's redecorating," I rushed to explain.

"Oh right." She continued to avoid my eyes. "Can we go to your room then or something?"

"Sure." I followed her with a frown, watching her as she entered my room for the first time. It was fairly plain, only a few sentimental objects had followed me around in this life, and I wondered what she thought of it.

She wandered round distractedly while I watched her, every now and then she would run her fingers over something.

Her silence began to get to me. "Bella?"

She finally looked at me for the first time since she had arrived, and I was surprised to see how haggard she looked. There were dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks looked slightly sunken in, like the life was slowly being drained from her. Inadvertently, I stumbled towards her, wanting to make it better, but pulled up short when I saw the wariness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I haven't been by lately," she began quietly. "I've just..." She paused, seemingly not knowing what to say.

"It's ok, Bella," I attempted to reassure her.

She jerked away from me and began pacing on the other side of the room. "It's not ok, Jasper. Nothing's ok lately and I... I don't know what to think or feel anymore." She was beginning to panic, speaking increasingly louder. I tried to calm her down, but her feelings were too strong and fluctuating for me to make much of a difference. "All I know is that staying away from you hurts, it really hurts, like a sharp pain in my chest." She pressed one hand over her heart in emphasis. "But being here now, just talking to you and being near you... I feel better again. I feel whole. Like I can't breathe properly without you near me."

This was what Carlisle had been talking about – Bella feeling the full effects of the mating, but being unable to explain it.

"And it's just so... Just so..."

"Just so?" I prompted.

She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and crushing her lips to mine. I responded eagerly, pushing my doubts out of my mind and just relishing the feel of her kissing me, pressing her body against mine and running her hands through my hair.

Wrapping one hand around her waist, I picked her up, holding her against me and cradling her neck gently as we continued to kiss. Her tongue snuck out of her mouth, licking against my lips and entwining with my own. She pulled back for breath, her head flung back, her eyes closed and her neck exposed. The offering of that smooth expanse or skin with the blood running so close to the surface was impossible to resist, and my mouth latched on over her pulse point, sucking on the skin over the throbbing beat of her blood. Her breath hitched and I sucked harder as her fingers scrabbled at my hair, pulling sharply on the long strands. One of her legs wound around my hips and clinging to my shoulders, she climbed up my body and I stepped back with the momentum, even though I didn't really need to.

My knees hit the edge of the bed and I unceremoniously sat down, with Bella wrapped around me on my lap. She immediately took advantage of the position to grind against me and my state of arousal shot up uncontrollably, fuelled by hers. Any caution or worry I had felt fled my mind; it was so good, too good, to touch her again, to kiss her, to feel her against me. The need I felt for contact with her began to overtake me, until there was nothing left but want and desire on both our parts.

I broke away from her, my hands grasping the hem of her shirt and whisking it over her head. We paused for a moment, both of us panting, before I bent my head to kiss and lick against the expanse of chest that was now offered to me.

"Jasper..."

I pulled back at her gasp, only to be drawn forward again, her lips meeting mine as her fingers scrabbled at my chest. Her hot hands felt like they were scorching me through the fabric of my t-shirt and second later they were flat against my stomach, sliding slowly upwards. Her kiss became lighter, more hesitant, until our lips were merely brushing lightly against one another.

She rested her forehead against mine and I watched in wonder as her eyelids slowly fluttered shut, her hands coming up to cup my face. With her eyes closed, she trailed her fingers over my face, pressing gently against my temples, tracing carefully around my eyes, following the curve of my cheekbones and running along my lips.

Her fingers dropped and I nuzzled the side of my cheek along hers. She whimpered as I did so.

Her hands crept down once more, only this time when they slid upwards, they took my t-shirt with them. I helped her undress me, quickly tugging the shirt over my head and throwing it to one side. Bella gasped as she took in my shirtless form, her cheeks staining pink as her wide eyes roamed over my body.

"Bella?" My amused voice seemed to snap her out of her daze.

"So beautiful," she whispered, before beginning to explore my body with her mouth. Her lips were so warm against my skin and I reclined back so I was lying down, Bella straddling me, her hair falling around her face and tickling my chest. It felt like she was marking me with every press of her mouth.

Wrapping my arms around her back, I ran my hands up and down over her back, frantically kissing the spot at the crook of her neck. She ground down harder over my erection as I did so and we began to grind in unison together, nothing but the denim we were both wearing between us.

Bella moaned as we hit a particularly sensitive spot and I gripped her hair, encouraging her to kiss me again so that I could swallow down the sound of her moans, tasting her arousal on my tongue as her lust spiked.

One hand slid up to easily unclip the clasp on her bra and she groaned as I did so, pulling the garment away from her breasts. I ducked my head as she did, laving my tongue against the pebbles of her nipples.

She moaned my name, holding my head to her, and I increased my attentions, being careful not to let my teeth near her delicate skin.

"...I...Jasper...oh God...don't stop..."

Her pleasure was addictive and I desperately wanted to give her more of it as she clung to my shoulders...

...and then froze.

Her abrupt stillness made me halt in response and I slowly drew back from her. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I realised that it was a stupid question as soon as it left my mouth. Of course something was wrong. Bella had come here to talk and I had allowed us to get this far, to let my instincts take over and soothe her as best as I could. Of course she would want to stop – this whole situation had got out of hand and we were moving way too fast.

Her hesitance had a different source than what I expected though.

"What's this?"

"What?" I was confused.

"This." Her fingers traced over a patch of skin on my shoulder and I raised my own hand to feel what she was talking about. My fingers pressed against a deep indent in my flesh. I remembered this war wound, if just for the fact that it was a spot that had bore repeated attacks. I could even list them off in my head: 1847 – an older redhead, she had come at me from the left, hoping to catch me unawares, 1862 – during training Charlotte had managed to break through my defences and sink her teeth into me, I had ripped her arm off and kept it for four days afterwards, and 1896 – one of Maria's new favourites had grown too cocky and tried to usurp my position within the army, I had delivered him back to her in pieces.

Bella hadn't noticed my momentary lapse into the past and her hands now began to search out the other scars that decorated my body.

"I thought at first that it was just your skin – you know how everyone has freckles and small dips and everything – but it's not, is it? It's scarring. And all of these other marks..." She pulled back further as she examined my neck and chest. "...they're scars too, aren't they?"

A faint tremor of fear racked through her body and I suddenly didn't want her to touch me anymore, didn't want to see the disgust in her face, didn't want to have my imperfections and my past thrown in my face like this. I needed to remain calm though – getting angry or upset wouldn't help either me or Bella.

"Yes, they're scars." I focused my attention on the wall behind her, bracing myself for rejection. "I got them a long time ago."

A small drop of moisture landed on my arm and I stared at it in wonder before looking up at my mate, my alarm rising with every tear that was now tracking down her cheeks. My Bella was in distress, and all of a sudden my pride was worth nothing.

"Sshhh, don't cry, sweet girl. They don't hurt, I'm alright." I brushed her hair back from her face, willing her to look at me.

Bella hiccupped, trying to breathe through her sobs. "But they did hurt...when you got them?"

How to explain this to her? "They stung, yes."

"Stung?" She laughed disbelievingly. "Someone hurt you, Jasper." She finally met my eyes, searching for something within their depths. "They hurt you."

I couldn't deny it. "They did."

She laughed again, a bitter, twisted sound and one hand came to cover her mouth, the tears continuing to fall from her bright eyes. "And now I've hurt you too."

"No!" I nearly shouted the word. "No, you haven't hurt me, Bella. Why would you think that?"

"Because I have. I know I have, even if you don't know it."

I tried to calm her down, but her agitation wouldn't be swayed. "You haven't hurt me, Bella," I vowed. "Please don't think that."

She wiped her tears away ineffectually and sniffled. "I should go home." She scrambled off my lap and turned in a circle, trying to locate her clothing, her arms now covering her bare breasts.

"Bella...Bella..." I tried to get her attention but she was frantically becoming hysterical.

"Where's my bra? I can't go home without it. Oh my God, what was I thinking?" Her voice rose to a shriek at the end and I finally pushed myself off the bed, easily swiping her bra up from the floor, and walking over to her. Her t-shirt had ended up on a nearby dresser so I grabbed that too, not wanting her to feel any more uneasy than she already did.

She was standing still now, her body shaking almost imperceptibly, and I moved slowly, holding my hands up to show her clothes, behaving as I would with a scared animal...although an animal probably would have run away by now. I wondered if Bella would have run too if she hadn't been half naked.

Tucking the shirt under my arm, I carefully threaded each arm through the straps of her bra, pulling the garment up and then turning Bella gently around to fasten the clasp. She was like a ragdoll, allowing me to move her at will as I covered her back up again.

I stayed in front of her once her clothes were back on, waiting for an explanation, knowing that whatever was said would change our relationship.

"I can't do this anymore, Jasper." Her softly spoken words shocked me.

"Can't do what?" I ask frantically, hoping that she didn't – she couldn't - mean what I thought she did.

Her next words confused me even further though. "I've been having dreams don't you know?"

"Dreams?" I repeated dumbly.

"I had the first one the day after I first met you, which was weird because we hadn't even spoken, I'd only seen you across the hall." She spoke quietly, keeping her head down.

"I remember." I thought back to that first day – the glimpse of her in the cafeteria, seeing her in the corridor...the bloodlust...

Bella began to speak more quickly, almost like if she slowed down then she wouldn't be able to get the words out.

"Only they then started coming more frequently, and I thought that if I ignored them, then everything would be fine and you and me could... But I couldn't ignore them and they didn't go away. And then Edward..." She laughed that bitter laugh again. "...then Edward had to rescue me from being crushed by that van and something in me just...snapped...and I threw myself at him."

"Bella, Bella," I tried to interrupt. "We've been over this, there's nothing to worry about."

"But there is!" she screamed loudly, and then gasped at the sound of her own voice. "But there is," she repeated, more quietly this time. "They didn't go away. They got worse and now I can't get them out of my head. I know that you said there was nothing for me to be sorry about, Jasper, but if you could read my mind..." She sighed. "It's not fair to you."

I shook my head, trying to decipher her ramblings in my mind. "I don't understand, Bella. What's not fair? What have you been dreaming about?"

She broke away from me, tripping her way over to the door. I could feel her desire to just run and avoid this confrontation.

"Bella," I pleaded.

Her answer was almost a whisper when it came. "You...and me...and...and Edward."

I stared at her; I think if my mouth could have dropped then it would have. "And Edward?"

Bella sobbed again, her face bright red, her total humiliation plain for me to read. "I didn't mean to like him. I just did."

"You like Edward." Bella liked Edward? To my knowledge she was still avoiding him, but apparently I hadn't considered all ramifications of the van crash and the kiss. I felt entirely wrong-footed by the whole thing.

Bella was sucking in huge gulps of air now, but when I tried to offer her comfort, she backed away from me. "I like both of you," she offered pitifully. "And I know that you must think that I'm a massive slut. I mean, who wouldn't? I've just told you that I have feeling for both you and your brother. _Who does that?_"

"Bella..." I tried to interrupt again, but she held up a hand to stop me.

"No. No, please don't tell me that it's alright, Jasper, because it's really not. I've seen your scars; someone's hurt you in the past. I don't want to hurt you now by pretending that it's all good and there's nothing wrong."

I swallowed heavily, a thick lump getting caught in my throat. I knew what this was; this wasn't Bella asking for time, this was Bella saying goodbye. But still, I would have to let her play this out the way she wanted it to, no matter how much I didn't want it to, no matter how much it tore at me.

I could at least be thankful that Bella was growing calmer now, her voice growing stronger and more determined as she did what she thought was right.

And all the while I was kicking myself at how stupid and how blind I had been.

"I think maybe we moved too fast, and I'm not saying that I don't want you..." She blushed prettily, but tilted her chin up in defiance. "I just need time to work out what's going on in my head."

I nodded slowly, already feeling my heart begin to wither up and die. As loudly as I could, I screamed out in my head for my other mate, the one who wasn't standing in front of me right now telling me that we shouldn't spend that much time together anymore.

"Time," I echoed. There was that word again. _Time_. I hated time; it was doomed to forever work against me.

Bella took a step forward and then hesitated, thinking better of the move.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. You don't know how sorry I am."

The glisten of moisture on her cheeks caught my eye as she spun around and ran down the stairs, surprisingly graceful for my Bella.

Except...she wasn't my Bella anymore. Not while she needed _time_ anyway.

The sound of her truck backfiring marked Bella's departure and then it hit me.

She was gone. She didn't know if she was coming back. She couldn't understand her own feelings.

She needed _time_.

As I fell to my knees, my howls of anguish brought my family running.


	14. Guns And Horses

**So this is my latest chapter for you all. Hopefully RL things are going to speed up a bit now so you might get more regular chapters (crosses fingers). Anyway, I still don't own Twilight, much to my disappointment.**

**Thanks to 1MrsECullen who continues to be kind enough to beta this for me. I hope you like it.**

**Guns and Horses**

**JPOV**

My temper had gotten worse – something my family really didn't appreciate.

Consequently it meant that everyone else in the house was angry too, mostly with me.

My moods were so tempestuous that Carlisle had banned me from going to school for a week in case I set the students off... Well, that, or in case I upset Bella even further. He had informed me that I was going to give her some time, rather than acting on my first instinct, to destroy everything in this miserable town that I could get my hands on, or my second, to kidnap Bella and keep her with me until she changed her mind about staying away.

My last remnants of pride forbid me from acting on my third instinct – running to her house and begging her to give me and Edward a second chance.

Of course, she had yet to give Edward a first chance, but that was beyond the point.

Eventually I calmed down enough to return to classes and was slightly vindicated when I felt Bella's relief at my reappearance. That small burst of feeling gave me hope that the time she had requested wouldn't last for much longer.

Unfortunately, I underestimated Bella's stubbornness and strength of will.

She continued to avoid me and Edward despite our efforts to talk to her, to explain. By this point I was ready to just scream the truth at her, just to get her to meet my eyes, to listen to me.

Alice tried her best, but in this situation she was helpless, although she threw her earlier resolution to leave me alone to sort things out by myself out the window and begin to harass me on an hourly basis to sort things out.

And I tried. I really did.

How one tiny human girl could manage to skilfully avoid and distract two vampires was completely beyond me, but somehow she managed it.

At first I was angry about Bella's decision, then I was accepting, and now I was just concerned. This separation wasn't good for any of us, not just physically, but mentally as well.

Bella was looking increasingly haggard every time she showed up for school. Dark circles began to emerge around her eyes and weight began to drop off her already slender frame. She constantly looked and felt like she was fighting off tears and regret. Her arms were always crossed over her chest as if she was cold and her hair hung limply around her face. According to Edward and Alice she was distracted in class, continually fighting off exhaustion and unable to concentrate.

I wasn't faring much better though.

The stress I was feeling was taking its toll on my emotions, loosening my control on my gift and sending me spiralling into depression. I couldn't feed, even though I felt hungry. When I was at home, I retreated to the dark of my room, refusing to turn the lights on. I was beginning to feel increasingly drained – something I didn't even know was possible for a vampire.

And yet, for me, through it all was Edward.

He stepped up in a way that – as dismissive as it sounded – I hadn't expected of him. He kept an eye on Bella in the classes they shared and conspired with Alice to never let her out of sight. He helped to calm the rest of our family down when I lost complete control of my feelings and my pain sent everyone in the house crashing to the ground.

And he looked after me – watching out for me in the way that I had always tried to be there for him.

He made sure I stayed well-fed so as not to be a danger to Forks' student population; he gave me company, sitting beside me in silence when I wanted to be quiet and letting me vent my thoughts when I just couldn't hold them in anymore, and he knew when to leave me alone and not let the others bother me. We spent hours together, lying on the bed, my head resting against his shoulder while he hummed his latest compositions to me.

He took care of me, despite the strain that I knew he was feeling too, and I loved him even more because of it. Because he was good and he was kind and he was my Edward.

We were both cracking though, despite the support that we gave each other, despite his determination to hold us both together. The ache and loss that I had felt when I had left after his change was back, only this time he was feeling it too.

And if we were feeling it, Bella was sure to be as well.

I wanted to end this...and soon. I wanted Bella to speak to us, I wanted a chance to explain, but against my better judgement I was allowing her the time she asked for, not wanting to push too hard or encroach upon her space.

The kidnapping option was looking increasingly attractive however.

I was considering this as I hovered near Edward's locker before school. He was concentrating on calming me down before I was forced into close proximity with the rest of the students and snickering every now and then as I considered my options

"That'll never work, you know," he commented. "She's avoiding us at the moment so I doubt that she would agree to just take a walk in the woods with you that easily."

"I could just use brute strength," I offered, only half-joking.

"No," he dismissed the idea without even pausing to think about it. "You'd feel too guilty about it to ever make any advances."

I glared at him and he just smiled and shrugged. "I don't see you making any suggestions." I hated the sulky tone of my voice. Edward's grin merely widened.

"I'd start by saying hello as she walks past. Nothing too scary for her." He nodded behind me and I spun to see Bella entering the corridor. My relief to see her yet again, to be close enough to breathe in her mouth-watering scent and lay my eyes upon her form, was assuaged by my concern at just how defeated she looked.

Her steps hesitated when she looked up and saw us watching her and I sensed her desire to run over to us tempered by her determination to stay away. She hugged herself tightly and then slowly began to walk past us.

She made it forward four steps before she faltered, her eyes rolling back in her head and her legs giving way beneath her. I watched, paralysed with horror as the toll our situation was taking on her became blatantly apparent. Luckily, Edward was thinking more clearly than I was and shot forward to catch her before she hit the floor. Everyone in the corridor came to a halt as they watched the unfolding situation.

Edward shifted his grip, lifting Bella up more securely and hugging her tightly to him. He turned to look at me, panic in his eyes. "Jasper, what do I do?" he whispered pleadingly.

Someone nearby was muttering about the nurse's office and my brain locked onto the word. Nurse. Doctor.

"Carlisle," I decided.

My mate nodded and began to carry Bella back towards the school entrance. I grabbed her bag off the floor as I hurried behind them, pushing past a confused looking Rosalie and Emmett as we headed over to the Volvo.

"We're taking Bella to see Carlisle. Can you clear it with the school?"

"Of course." For once Rosalie decided not to argue with me. "I'll let Alice know too...if she doesn't already."

Edward automatically slid into the backseat with Bella, refusing to let her go. I didn't bother to complain. At this point, the most important thing in the world was to find out what was wrong and make Bella better, not to squabble over who was going to hold her, although every instinct inside was clamouring for it to be me. I jumped into the driver's seat and peeled out of the parking lot at breakneck speed, abruptly changing direction when Edward informed me that Carlisle had the day off from the hospital and was at home instead.

I took the corner of the road too fast, veering too close to the looming trees and earning myself a hissed warning from Edward to be careful. I scowled, but slowed down the car minutely, still tearing into the garage faster than I should have.

My parents must have heard the noise I was making and emerged in the doorway to the utility room. Esme gasped when she saw Edward climb out of the car with Bella and Carlisle looked questioningly at me.

"She collapsed at school," I hurried to explain. "Can you make sure she's alright?"

"Of course," he quickly agreed and stepped forward to take Bella from Edward. He backed away, both hands raised in submission when Edward growled furiously at the action. I shot over to him, one arm sliding around his waist while the other lightly touched Bella on the arm.

I whispered in his ear, even though I knew Carlisle and Esme would be able to hear me. "You need to let Carlisle take a look at Bella, Edward. He's not going to hurt her and we can stay close by, but we need to let him see her."

Carlisle took one step forward but didn't try to touch Bella again or move any closer. "It's alright, Edward. I won't hurt her, but I need you to bring Bella inside so that I can see what's wrong."

Edward growled again, but it was less fierce this time and he let me guide him out of the garage and up the stairs. I led him towards my room, knowing that if Bella came round it would be better if she was somewhere that she recognised. Once there he placed her carefully on the bed which Esme had hurried ahead to turn down, and Carlisle disappeared to get his medical bag from his office. Edward was still grasping Bella's hand, running his thumb lightly over the fragile skin there and I sat carefully on the edge of the bed next to him.

"We're going to have to tell her the truth, you know?"

He turned his attention to me.

"This," I gestured towards Bella, "is because she wanted time and separation. It's not an option anymore, not if this is the result."

Edward nodded but remained silent, and a second later, Carlisle and Esme returned.

"I've called Charlie Swan," my mother announced. "He's going to head over as soon as possible, so you boys better go downstairs before he gets here."

We both began to protest, but Carlisle held up his hand to stop us. "You know that if he sees the both of you hovering around his only daughter he'll ask questions. He probably already wants to know why you didn't take her to the nurse's office or straight to the hospital if you thought it was more serious. Besides..." He paused and looked somewhat uncomfortable. "I'm not sure it's a good idea that you two be in here while I examine Bella."

"What?" My mind immediately began to race through all the reasons why he wouldn't want us in here, from her health being so bad that he didn't want to upset us, to him having to see Bella more intimately than I would like any other man to. Edward hissed at my last thought and out of the corner of my eye I saw him begin to sink into an attack crouch.

Carlisle didn't seem too worried though and merely arched an eyebrow at his son. "This is exactly why I won't have the two of you in the room while I examine Bella. You're both too upset at the moment to stay and I won't have you ripping me apart just because you don't like me taking her pulse."

I scowled but couldn't dismiss the validity of his concern. "We'll be right outside."

The corner of his mouth tilted upwards. "I have no doubt you will be."

Grabbing Edward, I yanked him out of the room. Luckily he offered minimal resistance; I really wasn't in the mood to get rough with him. Once out in the hallway, I slid down the wall opposite the door and rested my head back against the plaster, my eyes closed. A minute later I felt Edward sit down beside me, leaning into my body and burying his face in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him to me.

I could hear Carlisle talking quietly to Esme as he conducted a quick examination on Bella. Her heartbeat wasn't as strong as it should be, its thready beat resounding through the house. He commented on how thin and frail she was looking, something I had noticed, but apparently my mother had helped him take Bella's hoodie off, and the situation was worse than I had realised. As he noted that she probably hadn't eaten properly for a few weeks now, I felt Edward shudder next to me and I hauled him into my lap, kissing his forehead and squeezing my arms around his waist.

"She looks so fragile," he whispered, his upset clear for all to hear. "She just looks..." His voice trailed off.

I cursed under my breath. This was all my fault. I should've told Bella what was going on; I should've just explained everything to her.

"And then what?" Edward interrupted my thoughts. "You'd explain to her that she's mated to vampires that she thinks are brothers? You'd tell a seventeen year-old girl that we're in a relationship and that we want her to be a part of that? You'd say that because of the pain and distress it causes to be apart from each other, she'll never be able to stay away from us, never be able to leave without consequences? That if she ever wanted to be in a relationship with a normal boy that it wouldn't last long, because we wouldn't be capable of allowing it to last long?"

"Fuck!" I muttered, banging my head against the wall. "We've really left her no choice, have we?"

Edward raised his head and kissed me softly, our lips barely brushing against each other. "She has a choice, Jasper. It's only that rejecting us wouldn't be the happy or easy option."

"Nothing about this is easy."

"Yes it is," he replied, a faint smile crossing his face. "Once you just give in and accept it all then this is the easiest thing in the world. Being with you is just right."

I raised my hand, brushing his hair back from his face. "You sound like you've given this a lot of thought."

This time his smile was genuine. "I didn't even want to like Bella, remember? I've had to think about what I want and how this mating would work."

"And?" I prompted. "What have you discovered?" I was genuinely curious about what had made Edward change his mind. For me, falling in love with him and beginning to have feelings for Bella had come so naturally. To struggle with the decision was confusing to me because I had never thought about resisting. Bella and Edward were my mates, and I had no plans to resist the natural instincts that came with that.

"That when I'm here with you, it's wonderful, but there's still this itch under my skin. When we all had lunch that day and Bella was with us, it felt like I was relaxed and at peace for the first time in this life. I thought that if that was how it would be all the time..."

"Then how could you fight against it," I finished for him.

"Yeah." He snuffled against me. "Although I still struggle sometimes with the idea of sharing you. I love you, you know?"

I lowered my mouth to his, coaxing his lips apart and licking and nibbling against the soft skin. He responded with enthusiasm although we managed to keep the groping to the minimum. His fingers threaded through my hair, tugging on the strands and I moaned into his mouth.

We broke apart when we heard a chuckle above us and I broke away from Edward and opened my eyes to find Carlisle and Esme watching us with smiles on their faces. I shoved at Edward and groaning, he stood up, offering me his hand and pulling me up.

"How's Bella?"

Carlisle's smile faded away. "She's very underweight; once she's awake I'd like to put her on a strict diet to get her back to health again. She's also suffering from severe exhaustion – I'm not surprised she collapsed under the strain she's putting her body through. The human body can't handle this much stress."

I looked worriedly at him and felt Edward's grip tighten on the hand he still held. "What can we do?"

"Well for now," Carlisle cocked his head to the side, "I think that I should speak to Bella's father."

I listened and realised that I hadn't been paying attention to the car I could hear coming down the drive. To my surprise, I found that Alice had also returned at some point and from the smell coming from the kitchen was trying to brew a pot of coffee.

I nodded, but frowned when Esme put her hand on my chest to stop me leading Edward back into the bedroom.

"I think perhaps you boys should stay out of the way while we speak to the Chief, maybe go and hunt or something."

"But..." Edward began to protest but Esme hushed him.

"We have appearances to keep up, Edward. Don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be."

The car pulled to a halt outside the house and I sensed Charlie Swan's apprehension and worry as he approached the house. As much as I wanted to stay, I had already caused enough strife within the family over the last few months due to my feelings for Bella, so if staying away would make the situation better then I would do what I could to help.

"Come on." I tugged on Edward's hand, leading him out of the bedroom window just as Chief Swan knocked on the front door. "I need to feed again if Bella's going to be in the house today."

Edward was reluctant, but followed me without much resistance, even though we had both fed our fill just last night, hopeful as ever that today would be the day that Bella cracked and spoke to us again.

We found a herd of deer easily enough and fed until the blood sloshed around our bodies. I pulled a face. The next time we went hunting, I wanted to drain something carnivorous; all these herbivores with their weak blood were beginning to irritate me.

"I call a mountain lion," Edward grinned.

I gave him a look. "You always call mountain lion."

"Never mind, Jasper. Next time we'll hunt further out and I'll help you find a bear or a pack of wolves or something."

"You're so generous," I mocked, but I softened the slight with a smile.

"Come on," Edward began to run back in the direction of the house, "I want to see how Bella is."

By the time we got back to the house, Emmett and Rosalie were back from school and I was shocked to see that we had been gone for four hours. Charlie Swan had left, although when I reached out with my senses, it appeared that Bella was still here. Emmett glanced up from where he was playing video games on the couch.

"Carlisle wants to speak to you both upstairs. Sounded pretty serious."

Carlisle and Esme were still in my bedroom with Bella. Her clothes had been exchanged for a pair of Esme's sweats and her cheeks looked like they had a little more colour in them.

"What happened?" I asked, resuming my previous position on the edge of the bed. Edward laid a hand on my shoulder before moving around Bella's other side to sit in the armchair there.

"Bella woke up while her father was here, so Esme was able to help her into more comfortable clothes and make her some soup before she went back to sleep again. Charlie was...upset." He seemed to choose his words carefully. "He had noticed that his daughter's health was declining and had tried to speak with her about it, but apparently she denied that anything was wrong. He was going to give her another week before forcing her to see someone to help. Luckily for Bella, he is away this weekend on a conference in Seattle and was uneasy about going given her declining health. I managed to convince him that if he went, we would be more than happy to have Bella stay here where I can keep an eye on her, seeing as she's such good friends with Alice."

"She agreed to that?" Edward asked curiously.

"She did. I believe that she may have reached the limits of what she is able to tolerate."

Something about the way he phrased that caught my attention and I tore my eyes away from Bella to look at him. "What she is able to tolerate?"

Edward was staring at Carlisle with barely concealed horror, obviously seeing the problem in his mind.

"What?" I demanded, more urgently now.

Esme sighed and nervously shuffled forward, her body tense as she reached out towards Bella. "I saw it when I was helping her get changed earlier. When I asked her about it, she just said that her heart hurt."

Grasping the edge of the neckline of the t-shirt Bella wore, she pulled it slightly to the side, baring the skin over the top of her chest to us whilst keeping her modesty intact. Edward let out a cry of distress at what was revealed and my own mouth dropped open in shock. A visibly distressed Esme rearranged Bella's clothes and stepped back towards a grim Carlisle.

"What happened?" my voice rasped.

My father was slightly more sympathetic when he spoke this time. "From what I can gather, she's been feeling the same ache that both of you get when away from your mates, only she doesn't understand the sensation."

I grasped the neckline of the shirt again and tugged it back, needing to see the proof of my misjudgement again.

The usually pale skin was marred where Bella had scratched the skin over her heart raw. The ugly red mark appeared incredibly sore and I hissed as I tried to replace her shirt as lightly as possible, not wanting the fabric to irritate the painful mark.

Here was proof that I should never have let Bella walk out of here that day she said she needed time. I should have made her stay, I should have explained it all to her. Maybe then she wouldn't be lying so quietly in front of me, looking a shadow of her usual self, having tried to scratch her heart out.

I struggled to speak. "What should we do?"

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand tiredly over his face. "For the moment, the best thing it looks like you can do is stay close to her. She's already settled down more since you both returned to the house, so I think she gains some comfort from your presence. After that, I suggest that you talk to her. It would do all of you good to clear the air."

"And after that?" Edward asked.

Carlisle walked round the bed to clap him on the shoulder. "Regardless of how Bella reacts and what her decisions are, we still need to make sure that she recovers her health safely. So for now my priority is making sure my patient is comfortable and that her body doesn't come under any more stress until she's regained her strength."

We both nodded but remained silent as Carlisle and Esme left the room, my mother giving me a brief hug before she left.

Edward blew out a deep breath after they had closed the door behind them. "So, any ideas for how to break the news to Bella that she's mated to two vampires?"

I laughed at that, shaking my head at how ridiculous it would all sound to her. "Maybe we should just play it by ear, let her lead the conversation."

Edward hummed in agreement, but didn't say anything else and we lapsed into silence as we waited for Bella to wake up. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of her heartbeat. The stuttering sound from earlier had disappeared to my relief and it was now thrumming steadily as she slept. Although I wished that we had been around when she had come round earlier, I was relieved that at least she was now sleeping more naturally.

We stayed with her as day turned to night and the rest of the family began moving around the house in preparation for their hunting.

Alice briefly came up to visit and check that Bella was still sleeping. She also announced that if Bella woke up, then there was some more soup in the fridge and that Carlisle's advice was to try and get her to eat something. From the quick grin she gave me, I assumed that this meant she had seen that Bella would wake up when the rest of the family was away and that she had engineered their hunting to give the three of us some privacy.

Edward's quiet thank you to her just confirmed my suspicions.

The night drifted on until just before daybreak when Bella's heart rate suddenly began to speed up and her eyelashes began to flutter. She was waking up.

Both Edward and I had jumped up and leaned over Bella at the first sign of movement, and now we quickly sat back down, not wanting to be hovering over her when she opened her eyes.

Our mate gave a small whimper and snuggled back further into the pillows as her eyes slowly blinked open. She froze when she realised that she wasn't in her own bedroom and her head turned abruptly to the side to see Edward sitting next to her. I felt her confusion as she swivelled her head to look at me on her other side.

"Hey." I smiled tentatively at her.

"Hey."


	15. Three Wishes

**Hi everyone. Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out to you, but I was having beta issues. And with that in mind, a big thank you goes to the lovely msrachelcullen who has taken over from 1MrsECullen as beta for this fic.**

**I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for continuing to bear with me and read the story.**

**Three Wishes**

**JPOV**

Bella blinked slowly, her eyes still unfocused, her emotions still relatively settled from where she had been asleep.

"What are you doing here?" Her words were slurred from whatever Carlisle had given her earlier.

"Do you not remember, Bella? You collapsed at school and we brought you here to see our father. You're going to be staying with us for a while," I explained gently.

"Charlie was here." She brought a hand up to rub at her forehead. "I don't know why I collapsed."

Edward and I exchanged a look over her head.

"Carlisle said that your body was too worn out to cope," Edward quietly interjected.

Bella turned to look at him again, the frown back on her face. I could tell she was wondering what he was doing here and why he was acting so concerned.

"Edward, why don't you go and get Bella a drink and some of that soup that Esme left behind?" I suggested, pleading with him mentally to follow my orders on this so as not to freak Bella out.

He nodded and offered Bella a smile, before disappearing out of the room and clattering loudly downstairs. She turned her attention back to me and I reached out to clasp one of her warm hands in mine.

"How are you feeling?"

Her fingers wound around mine and I squeezed them lightly.

"Tired," she mumbled. "And I need to use the bathroom."

I immediately stood up. "I'll help you."

A mixture of embarrassment and anger crossed her face. "I'm not a child, Jasper. I can go to the bathroom by myself," she snapped.

I held my hands up in protest, knowing that she wouldn't like my interference but determined to assist her if I had to.

Bella sat up incredibly slowly and shifted her legs over the edge of the bed. I stayed where I was sat as she cautiously stood up and began to shuffle over towards the adjoining bathroom in the room. She made it two steps before her legs gave out and I leapt from my seat, shooting forward to scoop her up into my arms as she fell.

She let out a small cry of surprise as she was lifted up, but I was gratified to see that her arms wound around my neck, clinging tightly to me, instead of pulling away.

I set her down in the bathroom before retreating back out to the main bedroom. Downstairs, I could hear Edward muttering at the microwave and I grinned at the trouble he seemed to be having using the kitchen equipment.

"Having trouble?" I murmured, a smile crossing my face when I was greeted with a non-too-polite reply.

I was still laughing softly when the door to the bathroom opened, revealing Bella's curious gaze.

"Is something funny?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head, not answering her. "All done?"

She nodded, still watching me carefully.

This time there was no protest to me picking her up, but she felt more uneasy with my presence on this occasion.

I settled her gently back in the bed, adjusting the pillows so they were propping her body up and pulling the covers up over her legs. Taking my chances, I placed a light kiss on the crown of her head, before settling back into the chair by her side.

We sat in silence. I know it was cowardly, but I was waiting for her to speak first so I could feel out how the conversation we needed to have was going to go. Bella, however, had other plans; she seemed perfectly content to sit with her head bowed as she rearranged the bedspread to her liking, the slight trembling in her hands the only thing that gave away her nervousness.

The silence between us grew, with only the faint sounds of Edward pottering around the kitchen downstairs to break it up.

I had no idea where to begin or how to explain to Bella anything that was going on. Explaining the mating was bad enough, I had already learnt that when it came to Edward, but to have to explain everything...?

Despite her suspicions, that she had already confessed that she knew there was something different about Edward and myself, I didn't know how to tell her without the whole thing sounding incredibly stupid and perverted. For most people, vampires were the stuff of fantasy and to tell her that they were real, and that she was mated to not one, but two of them, seemed a little absurd.

But I had promised Carlisle, and so I was going to have to find a way.

...maybe after she had eaten though.

Bella's fingers froze and her breath caught. I looked up in alarm, wondering what was wrong. She didn't smell hurt and she wasn't afraid or in pain so I was puzzled by her reaction.

"I'm in your room," she murmured quietly.

I let out a sigh of relief. "You are."

She blushed and I couldn't stop myself from inhaling deeply as the blood rushed to the surface of her skin. I swallowed heavily as I fought the urge to just pounce on Bella and have my way with her; it took me a few seconds to notice that she was watching me curiously, a bright spark in her eyes that I didn't want analyse too closely in case I lost control of myself.

It was all quiet in the house. Edward had clearly picked up on my thoughts and I could sense his stillness and indecision as he tried to work out how to react.

Bella shuddered and her movement broke us out of the frozen tableau we had been stuck in. Her tongue came out to wet her lips before she attempted to speak again.

"Where will you sleep then?"

It was such an innocent question – so innocent and yet so suggestive at the same time.

My mind quickly provided me with an excuse. "I'll probably bunk in with Edward while you're staying with us. I'm sure he won't mind."

If I hadn't been an empath I was sure that I would have missed the flicker of disappointment at my answer that flickered across Bella's consciousness. As it was, I struggled to find my voice again.

"You can say here for as long as you wish, Bella. I like having you in my room."

The devil inside me must have spoken those last words, tearing away my inhibitions and bringing yet another beautiful flush up to Bella's cheeks. Her stare fixed on her hands again and I briefly regretted my rash statement; I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.

I was at a loss. Usually I let people's emotions guide me as to how to act around them, but Bella was so carefully controlling herself that apart from a small amount of embarrassment, she was keeping her feelings closely guarded.

A soft knock on the door broke through our silence and Edward entered the room a second later, a tray in his hands. In addition to the soup he had struggled to heat up, there was juice, water, crusty bread and fruit. Given how little Bella appeared to be eating lately, it seemed like a lot for just one tiny girl.

"I wasn't sure what you would like with your soup so I added a bit of everything," he confessed. "Don't worry about eating it all if you don't want it."

Bella looked stunned and I could feel her uncertainty as she decided on an appropriate response.

"I see you managed to figure out how to use the microwave," I interjected, breaking the awkward spell that had hung over us all.

Edward scoffed at me. "Like you could do any better. Sorry, Bella, but neither of us are particularly domestically inclined."

She giggled at his pronouncement and the brief upsurge in her mood had me grinning like an idiot.

"Charlie isn't either. He once tried to cook a tin of Bolognese sauce in the microwave, can and all. I had to stop him before he set the entire house on fire." She laughed faintly. "It must be a male thing."

"Don't let Emmett here you say that. He'll be determined to prove you wrong and just end up destroying Esme's kitchen," Edward warned. He went to set the tray on her lap, but then paused, unsure about initiating contact.

I took pity on him and took the tray, placing it across Bella's lap. The bad part of me that was determined to push things with Bella made sure that I brushed my fingers accidentally across her thighs as I shifted back into the chair, enjoying the way her breath hitched at the contact.

"Jasper," Edward cautioned quietly so that Bella couldn't hear it.

Muttering an apology, I retreating away from her warm body and placed my hands firmly in my lap so I wouldn't be tempted to touch her and reassure myself of her presence.

Bella stared at all the food in front of her and swallowed hard.

"Like Edward said, you don't have to eat everything that's on the tray. Just have what you want and we can store away the rest of it."

She nodded and cautiously picked up the spoon, stirring it slowly in the soup. She didn't attempt to eat any of it though, which made me worry for her. She was beginning to feel ill at ease around us again, the playful teasing of a minute ago disappearing away.

"What do we do?" I whispered, turning to my mate for help.

Edward shrugged imperceptibly. "I'll leave the two of you alone and go up to my room. I don't think she's entirely comfortable around me yet; she might be happier to talk and eat if you're the only one around."

I gave a tiny jerk of my head to acknowledge that I had heard him.

I could sense him moving back towards the door behind me and suddenly felt a strong desire to cling onto him so that I wouldn't have to try to explain everything to Bella alone.

He ignored my mental pleading though, instead choosing to address Bella. "I think I'm going to head upstairs now that you're awake, Bella. Give the two of you some time to talk."

His hand was already turning the door handle when Bella called out his name, halting him in his path.

"Edward."

"Yes?" I could hear the strain that let me know that he was very carefully controlling his tone of voice.

Bella hesitated. "I just wanted to say...I'm sorry... For how I acted before," she clarified. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Hope began to blossom in Edward's chest and I hid my smile at the emotion.

His voice sounded choked when he finally replied. "It's not a problem, Bella. There's nothing to apologise for."

The door closed behind him with a quiet click and a second later I heard a low creak as the sofa in his room registered his weight.

Bella still had her head down, continuing to stir her soup without any sign that she was going to eat any of it. Her brow was furrowed and I briefly wished that I had Edward's talents so that I would be able to tell what she was thinking.

"You really should eat some of that," I nudged, my natural concern for my mate rising up at her lack of appetite. "Carlisle says that part of the reason you fainted was because you weren't get enough nutrition."

Bella nodded, but set her spoon down in the bowl instead of eating any of the meal. "I need to apologise to you too."

"For what?"

"For the way that I've behaved. For leading you on like I did. For pushing you away." She was near tears and I hurried to move the tray out of the way so I could climb up onto the bed next to her. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pulled her gently into my body and she curled up against me. Her face was buried against my neck and I could feel the hot sting of her tears as they ran onto my skin. I lifted her onto my lap, cradling her almost as I would do a child, murmuring nonsense as I tried to calm her down. I hated her crying, especially when I knew that there was no reason for it...well, no reason that she knew of.

"Bella, you don't need to apologise to me...for anything. You've done nothing wrong."

She sniffled sadly. "But..."

"No," I interrupted her firmly. "You've done nothing to merit an apology...to me or Edward. If anything, we should be apologising to you."

She raised her head so we were now face to face. Her nose was adorably pink from where she had been crying and her eyes were still watery with unshed tears. "What do you mean?"

This was it, the moment when I would have to tell her what we were and what exactly that meant for her. I took a deep breath, ready to confess, but then her scent hit me. Pure, unsweetened...and it had been so long since she had been so close to me.

I took the coward's way out.

Cupping her cheek, I drew her face towards mine and caught her lips with my own, gradually coaxing them into a deepening kiss. Bella responded eagerly, her heartbeat quickening and her arms winding around my neck, her hands buried in my hair as she pressed her body closer to mine.

Waves of frustration and annoyance from upstairs hit me as Edward furiously berated me for taking the easy way out. He was right though – what I was doing was unfair, both to Bella and to Edward. Regretfully, I pulled back, allowing myself one last taste of her mouth before I carefully shifted Bella to the side so she was no longer sat on top of me.

"Bella..." I began and then stopped.

She was watching me curiously, her tongue sneaking out to lick her bottom lip before she sucked it between her teeth. I knew the move was an unconscious one, but it did make it hard for me to concentrate. I glanced around for help, only for my eyes to land on the abandoned tray.

"Bella, I need to... I have some things that I need to talk about with you...important things." She nodded, wide-eyed. "Could you please have something to eat before I do though, I worry about you."

"How about I eat and you talk," she bargained, and I smirked at her response."

"Of course."

We both got settled again and Bella dutifully swallowed a spoon of Esme's soup before looking at me in expectation. Where to begin?

The silence must have drawn out too long for Bella's liking because she laughed nervously, one hand coming up to twirl her hair anxiously around her fingers. "Come on, Jasper. It can't be too bad. It's not like you've killed anyone." She laughed, a high-pitched thread-y sound that bit at my nerves. Bella's amusement faded away weakly when she realised that I was making no attempt to respond to her joke. "You haven't...have you? Killed anyone?"

I decided to ignore that question for now, knowing that it would have a serious answer despite only being asked in jest. Instead, it was easier to start with the recent concern that had arisen as a consequence to our mating.

"Bella, I know you haven't been well lately. Both Carlisle and your father think that your body has exhausted itself." A defensive light came into her eyes and I rushed to continue before she became argumentative. "Do you know why that's happened?"

Her eyes left my face, focusing once more on her lap. At first I thought she wasn't going to answer, but then she spoke, so quietly that if I hadn't been a vampire, I don't think I would have heard her.

"I didn't mean to. I just haven't felt right the last few weeks. It's like my chest hurts, it feels too tight all the time, like I can't breathe, and my heart burns too. It stings me and I tried to make it go away, but it just pulses under my skin where I can't reach to make it stop."

"So you scratched yourself," I interjected.

Bella's head shot up, her hands automatically gripping the neckline of her pyjama top up and tugging upwards in an attempt to hide the evidence. "How do you know that?" she spat out, her cheeks colouring with her shame. I raised my hands up cautiously in surrender so she could see that I wasn't trying to attack her, physically or verbally. I could have calmed her down easily enough, but if I was finally telling her the truth, I wanted all her feelings and emotions to be her own, instead of under my influence.

Reaching out, I rested my hands over hers, before curling my fingers around her fists and drawing them backwards, exposing the damage to her skin. Bella shivered as I rested my palm carefully over her heart, my senses picking out every tear on her skin that her nails had caused. She shifted her weight uncomfortably and I sat back next to her, withdrawing my hands.

"You need to eat," I reminded her.

Bella blushed, but obeyed me. We sat quietly for a while as she ate as much of the meal that Edward had prepared for her as she could, before I set the tray aside once more.

"How are you feeling now?" I asked.

"Full," was her reply. "It's been a while since I felt like eating... since I felt like doing anything for a matter of fact."

"But you were happy enough to eat here," I remarked.

"Yes."

"And your heart?" I prompted. "What about that now?"

She seemed distracted. "No, that's fine now."

"And when did it start hurting?" I was going about all this the long way, but I thought that maybe if I helped Bella to work it out for herself it might be less distressing than if I just blurted the truth of the situation out.

She shook her head. "I don't know...a few weeks ago maybe."

"And what about the eating?"

"Jasper," she sighed in frustration. "I don't understand what you're getting at. So I haven't felt like eating recently. Big deal."

"Bella, please," I begged.

Something in my voice must have caught her attention because although she shook her head at me again, the tiny frown line between her eyebrows appeared, a sure sign that she was thinking.

"A while," she finally answered.

"A while," I repeated. "Like 'a while' a few weeks ago?"

Bella shrugged. "I guess."

"What about sleeping?" I pressed further, ignoring Edward's hushed warning from upstairs. "When was the last time you got a decent night's rest?"

I could feel Bella's irritation with me growing, but I continued.

"Was that a few weeks ago too, Bella?" I didn't bother waiting for an answer; I already knew the truth. "And what happened a few weeks ago that stopped you from eating and sleeping? What happened a few weeks ago, Bella, that caused you so much pain you tried to scratch your own heart out?" My voice had risen with increased urgency as I tried to force her to understand. I lowered it conspicuously now. "What happened, Bella?"

Bella was staring at me in horror now, her eyes wide, her mouth parted as she began to breathe faster, her heartbeat beginning to race. I could feel the dawning comprehension wash over her as she began to fit all the pieces together.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting her reaction to be, but it certainly wasn't for her to frantically scramble across the bed away from me, landing heavily on the floor as her weak legs refused to take her any further.

"Bella?" I hurried over to her, forgetting for a second to mind my speed in my haste to help her up, but she held her hands up protectively in front of her.

"Don't!"

Her fear drew me up short and I slowly lowered myself to the floor so that I wasn't looming over her. Bella continued to hold her hands in front of her face, as if that, if nothing else, could keep me from getting to her if I chose. I spoke as calmly as I could, considering that one mate was sprawled in front of me, absolutely terrified, and the other was pacing a hole in the floorboards as he fought with the instinct to run down here and protect Bella from me.

"Bella..."

"What did you do to me?" she interrupted, her voice rising as hysteria began to tighten its grip on her emotions. "What did you do? It must have been you. It started hurting right after the last time I saw you, when we..." She cut herself off, her glance towards my bed speaking volumes.

"Bella." I shuffled towards her but stopped at the warning glance she shot me. I sighed in frustration at myself. I had got it wrong... I always seemed to get it wrong when it came to my mates. "Can I at least help you back into bed so you're comfortable; you're going to get cold sitting on the floor like this." Bella hesitated. "I promise I won't hurt you, Bella. I couldn't."

There was a long pause before her emotions settled somewhat and I had to mind that I moved slowly enough not to scare her any more than I already had as I carefully scooped her up, cradling her in my arms before I settled her back against the pillows. Retreating to my chair, I tried to ignore the fact that Bella had drawn her legs up against her chest, closing off her body to me.

I leaned forward, and then sat back when Bella flinched as I moved.

I swallowed.

"Does it help at all to know that I've been feeling the same way? The same itch in my chest at being apart from you, the same lack of interest in taking care of myself."

"You look fine to me," she commented softly.

I laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "Trust me, I'm about as far from fine as you can be. You just can't see the physical evidence on my body like you can on yours."

"As why is that?" she challenged. "Why is it that my body is so much more fragile than yours if we're both suffering from the same thing...whatever it is?" She glared at me expectantly.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, my hands clasped in front of me to stop me from reaching out to her.

"Do you remember the incident with the van?"

Bella nodded warily.

"You promised me then that you wouldn't push me for a reason why Edward walked away from that without a scratch on him while you were nearly crushed to death. It's probably way past time that I told you why."

Bella unconsciously began to lean towards me. "Does it have to do with the empty feeling inside me?"

I ignored that question.

"There are differences between us, Bella."

"You're fast, you're strong, you don't seem to get tired like I do, your skin is cold," she listed. She blushed then. "Your eyes change colour. When I first saw you they were black, but later on they were almost gold and I figured that I had just seen them wrong in the light. But then when we..." She didn't seem to know how to describe what we had done together; her innocence was completely adorable. "...you know, they were black again." Bella looked away from me then, turning towards the window and staring out at the rain-soaked landscape. "You're not the only one either. Alice has the same eyes – the same colour and they change colour as well – and so does Edward. None of you are related, so it can't be a genetic or inherited thing."

I blinked slowly at her perceptiveness, amazed that she hadn't just dismissed any gaps in our cover story as other humans did...but then, Bella had more reason than others to pay attention. I wondered if her observations had led to any conclusions.

"And what do you think that all means?"

Bella sighed, glaring at me as she did so. "Why are you asking so many questions? I feel like I'm being interrogated rather than you telling me what's going on. Why can't you just spit it out?"

I rubbed one hand tiredly over my face, suddenly feeling every bit my age. My eyes traced out the pattern on the bedcovers, avoiding looking at my mate.

"Because I'm trying to work out what to tell you, Bella. I don't... we don't usually confide in people about what we are and I don't really know where to start."

I was surprised a second later when Bella suddenly touched me, cautiously pulling my hand away from my face. The worry and anger on her face had disappeared and only compassion remained in its place.

"You're confiding in me now though," she said.

I nodded, amazed a second later when a small smile appeared on her face and a small spike of pleasure registered across my senses.

"You trust me enough to tell me?"

I couldn't help smiling back at her delight. "Of course I trust you, Bella. It was never about not trusting you."

She cradled my hand between both of hers, playing with my fingers. "What was it about then?"

I swallowed, opened my mouth and then shut it again.

"It was about telling you that I'm a vampire," I blurted out, cringing at how unbelievable it sounded. "We're all vampires," I corrected hastily, not sure why that would make much of a difference.

Bella's fingers had stilled on my hands, her body freezing. She stared blankly at my hand so that I couldn't see her expression and for that matter, her emotional wavelength had completely vanished in shock.

My nerves built as I waited for a response...any response.

After ten excruciatingly long minutes, I finally got one.

"I know."


End file.
